Bravo to this kid for keeping alive the electric, anarchic spirit of the early '90's Adult Contemporary music scene from which he sprung:

DES PLAINES, Ill. (CBS) – A 21-year-old Crystal Lake man staged a one-man protest Friday morning over the permanent closing this weekend of the Des Plaines Oasis along the Jane Addams Memorial Tollway. The reason will do doubt come as a surprise.
WBBM Newsradio’s Mike Krauser reports Kevin Walters chained himself to the door of the oasis, and said to understand why, you have to go back more than two decades.
“It is a weird story, I must admit. About 21 years ago, my parents were at a Phil Collins concert here in Chicago, and one thing led to another. They ended up at the oasis … and I was conceived there,” he said.
Asked how his parents went about telling him that, Walters said “it just sort of came out just randomly in conversation.”
“They were like, ’Oh yeah, hey, we never really told you how you were born, or your conception,’ and my parents are weird people, so it’s not that surprising,” he said.
Walters said the oasis is part of his life, and he hates to see it close.

http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2014/03/14/man-conceived-at-des-plaines-oasis-stages-one-man-protest-of-closure/

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Let the record show, I was conceived at the Lake Forest Oasis.

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Phil Collins...sex...

goddamn, they're closing that? man so many memories of that oasis.... i mean personally i never really stopped there, especially to eat, considering i grew up in elk grove.... but yeah that oasis was an indelible part of my life growing up when we'd drive under the mcdonalds on the way to grandma's house and shit.... and all the times i was a little bit short for the day/night's debauchery and good ol colleen man, yeah, for the walk of life we were in she was fine for a girl into "the life" and she used to go and panhandle up on that oasis and i swear to god if you gave her an hour she could get you $40-50/+

i mean think about that she'd ask for change or a dollar or two and end up getting it, and the occasional guys would slap a $20 on her without expecting a blowjob back.... man it was magic. then once she had the $$$ she was always down to spend it (as she was the quintessential "down ass chick" who'd scour couch cushions for quarters to get a 40 to split with you)

of course she and her then-new-BF ended up cashing out my friendship at approximately $200 and that was the end of that, but yeah, for those indelible memories along with the arby's roast beef sandwich that was her vagina (seriously, that thing was beat. it was the equivalent of one of those volvo nuts you know who has 324k miles on the thing but keeps it running.... and on one of the roast beef slices was this thing that looked like a NES MAX thumbpad which she explained "oh that's my clitoris" and you're just like <KeanuReeves> WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 </KeanuReeves>)

so RIP you technically-unnecessary-but-still-totally-a-part-of-chicago-suburbicana you. it won't be quite the same without you, staring at the soon to be empty little tiny micromall up there as i zip under you to head into the city proper. i reckon the gas stations will stay open because people always need gas and the idea of moderately-overpriced double-barrelled-gas-stations easily accessible via highway are a good idea.... but we'll always have the lake forest oasis, won't we? that one will never close because someday there will be a statue of brian urlacher and his baby's mama tyra robinson exchanging an envelope with child support payments in it, as the gods intended it, of course.

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