This weekend in nas' fantasy league the Kris "babe" Bryant sweepstakes began in earnest when I fired the first shot @ archduke Ferdinand by offering nas Justin upton for a considerable heap of cash [new callups enter the league right after their MLB debut and there's a $$$-waiver system where the highest bid on any waiver-wire/free-ajent gets the player. Everyone starts out with $10k and there's a $5k recharge in July and that's it. Spent $$$ vanishes 4ever and you can buy and sell $$$ as a commodity via player trades/sales. I literally showed the league how this was done in 2011 when I sold my best players (like Neil walker) for $$$ which I used to get some kid named Kilgore trout when he came up despite everyone making fun of me for doing it, just like it was TOO MUCH!!!!! when I traded Billy Butler + Jered Weaver for Miguel Cabrera in 2011]

AHEM. That explained, nas basically managed to quickly get $19k between selling core/ish players like Hanley and cishek, so not only is nas in the catbird's seat for babe bryant, but unless someone else gets up into the 20k+ territory nas is only gonna have to spend $1 more than the 2nd highest cash total so he could easily end up with 15-19k left over and thus he's untouchable when rodon stud world series!!!!! comes up...

So that means me and my guy Noah "Thor" Syndergaard are going to have to build a fucking ark to survive 12 days and 12 nights of bryant-induced-tears-flooding to survive the biblical plague of assblastedness that nas has (unwittingly? =) unleashed upon the league by succinctly and definitively informing everyone that their little plots and schemes* to get babe bryant are 500% irrelevant now cuz when nas wants someone in fantasy baseball he gets em by hook or by crook all proper 1960s "the prisoner" style!

So he might not be a part of the board anymore and i'm truly sorry if my dumbass drugged out meant-to-be-positive missive was truly the impetus to run him off the board ---- but holy shit nas hasn't lost a step with his troll fame/game because in one fell swoop not only did he end all the hope that anyone's plans* for babe Bryant could work, but he also inspired conspiracy theories that one of the teams he sold to is really another team ran by nas akin to Barcelona B or real Madrid casilla, feeder/JV teams that exist solely to be a reserve team for the parent club.

Like I said on the league magboard, even if that conspiracy theory was true I actually welcome it cuz it's only going to make it that much sweeter and more special when I dump his ass out of the playoffs throughout the next decade (mirroring last year)...

So of course since i'm the only guy sticking up for nas in the league msgboard (oh the irony...) go figure there's now a thread/movement to veto my very cromulent move of j-upton/rasmus/odrisamer-despaigne/rd2-pick for Jacob deGrom/khris-davis/carl-crawford/rd3-pick. I guess giving up the hands down best player in the deal (i love deGrom but he only has ~150 innings of big league experience so who knows if he can last a whole season?) doesn't matter cuz uhhh.... FUCK YOU SINI YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THE LEAGUE ANYWAYS!!!!

So yeah TLDR = hey at least you lot can go back to your comfort zone of not reading my endless array/s of inane drivel. Just know that our guy nas hasn't lost a step in the name of top-shelf-trolling (you bust it out when you've got quality company coming over) because HOLY SHIT EVERYONE NEEDS BABE BRYANT IN THEIR FANTASY LIVES!!!!

* = before nas matter of factly informed us that babe Bryant is a 100% nas joint in the sandlot league I was looking into str8up collusion to try and land him. Seriously if nas was able to get another B/feeder team into the league god bless him (and Lol @ everyone mad that they didn't think it up / do it first) cuz IIRC it was Gaylord perry who said "if you ain't cheating you ain't trying" --- c'est la vie.

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I had to piss in a cup while reading this.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Make sure to post the results.

what does TLDR mean????????????????????????????????????????

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

it means i better go piss in a cup cuz i have the boundless audacity to tell a story that amuses at least me. it should give you some insight into my psyche that i'm already defending myself before i finish the story because i know what's coming.... but hey at least the products jimmy takes to stay regular are working because let me tell you it's pretty damn hard to piss in a cup on demand unless you know it's coming for awhile and you down a bunch of gatorade or something.

btw the trade where tom koehler went for aroldis chapman went through but mine is still sitting there like something's going on.... idk if i'm being made to sweat or if they're just giving it the whole week to sit there and collect enough vetoes because it's technically a really bad thing for the whole league if i add jacob degrom to my team.

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great fucking answer

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

also, i kind of assumed that most/everyone knew that TLDR = too long; didn't read.

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Hate to stop the jerkfest, but I defended our fearless leader before your mini series was posted. I love how you say your "strategy", that only a genius like NAS could pull off.

With K.Bryant coming up you have three choices A)Players for cash B)Offer cash for players c)Nothing. EVERYONE in the league is doing one of the three and has their own strategy. Calling NAS a genius is .

I know you are excited because NAS invited you back into the league, but your is embarrassing.

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No juiced, embarrassing = being up 17-9 going into the final day of our championship matchup and snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

You have a good team but you clearly lack TWTW!! =P

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I didn't have the fire and the passion.

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