https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/chicago/new ... -michigan/

Why aren't Asian Carp fucking up Lake Michigan?



Asian Carp aren't Chicago Tough enough to deal with our literal shit. BEAR WATER!

Back about maybe 12-13 ago, a lobbying group hired my former employer to do a study of the river channel with respect to how diversion options to be proposed by the lobbying group to mitigate the carp problem would affect industry. My role was to sit in on all the meetings and make sure the client wasn't asking for unreasonable stuff, since our project manager was still junior and grew up in a different city.

So one day, I'm at a meeting with the client, and the local director (an ex-City guy) was there as well, and we are watching our respective project managers updating project status and next steps. At one point, their manager asks our manager to interview the various scrap metal companies with facilities on the river in the city and near SW suburbs. Our manager starts to acquiesce, and I look over at the director and we both start smiling.

"Hey Henry, does our contract include a life insurance policy?" I asked. The director had to explain to his project manager that gruff people who run "scrap metal" businesses are not the most particularly talkative people, mostly because they are all on no-show jobs like in The Sopranos.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Tell ya what stone pony, in my seven decades in this game, I’ve been around all kind of ethnics. Mexicans, island Mexicans, Canadians, Yaz…

And one thing I’ve learned is true as sure as the day is long is that Asian carp notoriously lack TWTW.

Too meek. Not a ton of humor to the Asian carp. And build?! Forget about it. Could blow em over with a decent Oklahoma gust. We called that a Sooner or Later, cuz boy, April in Chicago, them things is gonna be here, I tell you what.

I once asked an Asian carp about Pearl Harbor and, boy, I tell you what…shriveled up faster than Yaz looking through some old Polaroids I showed him of my time with Vera Miles in Wichita back in ‘67.

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My first real job was in the Chicago maritime industry working on the boats. High school era, right as this was getting spooled up. Either way all the guys thought the carp thing was just a ploy to make life difficult on the maritime traffic. YMMV, they are all felons.

i like this post kdiddit

So in laymen's terms the carp are drugged up and over-caffeinated?

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

Were they vaxxed?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

https://dnr.illinois.gov/waterresources/asiancarp.html


They were brought in specifically because they thrived in sewage, but even the carp tapped out to Chicago crap.

The Clean Water Act sounds like government overreach. Who are they to tell people what they can do with water?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I'm sure the Supreme Court will soon provide a 6-3 decision to clarify.

At one time they had electric barriers on the river in a few places. The carp didn't like that. I think those are still intact. The white pelicans have found them down around peoria and their summer population is exploding with the abundant prey. Not sure how the release of alligator gar down further south in the state has worked on them. Carp population is pretty healthy down there according to the waterfowl refuge managers I've talked with.

When I grow up, I wanna be a waterfowl refuge manager.