I'm a big dumb shitlib baby

The dude is a machine. His medal count is staggering. He is like the 15th most decorated COUNTRY in Olympic history. More individual golds than anyone. More total golds than anyone. More total medals than anyone. The oldest swimmer to ever win an individual gold. And he is still killing everyone.

Wouldn't be shocked to see him in the next Olympics. May end this Olympics with another 6 golds. Why quit when no one can beat you?

Go out when you know you are on top, rather than struggle next Olympics?

Yeah, I read some crazy stat this morning that he has the most golds since some guy named Leonitus from Greece in 112 AD. That's quite the resume' builder.

America wasn't competing at the time. Asterisk.

I'm a big dumb shitlib baby

Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

The dude is a machine. His medal count is staggering. He is like the 15th most decorated COUNTRY in Olympic history. More individual golds than anyone. More total golds than anyone. More total medals than anyone. The oldest swimmer to ever win an individual gold. And he is still killing everyone.

Wouldn't be shocked to see him in the next Olympics. May end this Olympics with another 6 golds. Why quit when no one can beat you?

Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

Why quit when no one can beat you?

Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

Yeah, I read some crazy stat this morning that he has the most golds since some guy named Leonitus from Greece in 112 AD. That's quite the resume' builder.

Yeah, I read some crazy stat this morning that he has the most golds since some guy named Leonitus from Greece in 112 AD. That's quite the resume' builder.

Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

Great hero Jim Thorpe...

Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

damn they had captain america t-shirts back then? i guess we always had a little consumer in us, eh?

Michael Phelps, abuser of schedule 1 drug marijuana

shoutout denied

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

and he made love to a woman who had a penis

Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

instinctively you wanna commiserate with him and be like "hey we've all been there dude!" but then you stop and think about it and it's like "wait a minute, no, no i haven't been there! i don't even know where 'there' is!" (akin to cubs fans and "the endzone" =)

What happened?

Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.

What happened?

Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

I gts'd and that wasn't the girl/guy. There was more than 1?

yep, sinicalypse has definitely been taking some hits off of Michael Phelps' bong

Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?

Michael Phelps, abuser of schedule 1 drug marijuana

shoutout denied

I gts'd and that wasn't the girl/guy. There was more than 1?

UPDATED: Michael Phelps collected the 28th Olympic medal of his career on Saturday night in the final Olympic race of his career. So, in his honor, we decide to look back at some of his most impressive stats…

1. His first Olympic race came in the 2000 Olympics, when he was just 15 years-old.

2. He’s won 23 gold medals in 30 Olympic events.

3. He’s won more gold medals than 108 countries.

4. He’s finished on the podium in more than 93 percent of his Olympic events

5. If Michael Phelps was a country he would rank T-38 in the all-time Olympic gold medals.

6. He’s won more than double the number of Olympic gold medals as the second-most decorated Olympian of all time, Larisa Latynina.

7. He has set 39 world records, the most of all time.

8. He broke his first world record in 2001, when he was just 15 years old.

9. When 15 year-old Phelps made the 2000 U.S. Olympic team, he was the youngest in 68 years to do so.

10. He set the record for most gold medals (6) won in a single Olympic Games (2004, Athens).

11. He re-set the the record for most gold medals won in a single Olympic Games with eight at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.

12. Phelps tied a 2,168 year-old record Leonidas of Rhodes when he captured his 12 gold medal on Tuesday.

13. Starting in 2004, Phelps has never lost an individual medley 200 meter race in the Olympics.

14. 27 different swimmers have finished second to Phelps over the course of his career.

15. From 2001 to 2011, he won every World Championships and Olympic 200 meter butterfly race he entered.

16. His 21 Olympic medal streak between 2004 and 2012 is the longest of all time.

I have MANY years of experience in trying to appreciate steaming piles of dogshit.

Pretty good huh?

Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.