Yo, bro, I know I'm on that list. I had a great Father's Day! First, Lori woke me up with a sloppy blowjob. And she let me cum on her face! Then Hunter and Ryder brought me breakfast in bed. Blueberry pancakes! No eggy slime time for this Guy! Then we went downstairs and I opened up my Father's Day gift- a brand new bra for the SS! Hunter and Ryder are the best! But it wasn't over yet. The family took me to dinner at Aldo's. I had the Tagliatelle Al Verde with an Aldo's Burger on top and a side order of Garlic Fugasa. Mmmmm-mmmm. Talk about your trips to Flavortown! This great day ended with me throwin' one to Lori. And she let me finish in her ass! Holy Stromboli! Happy Father's Day!

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Guy Fieri is co-owner of Johnny Garlic's and Tex Wasabi's Restaurants

I thought you made up Garlic Fugasa...sounds like a good gangster name.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

He stays in character well.

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Elections have consequences.

I don't know if this has become a thing to fuck with me but my kids never actually say the words "Happy Father's Day" to me. They are with me and everything but they never say the words but fuck that, I am not breaking down and expressing disappointment over it only to be told I have been the butt of a lifelong Kaufmanesque joke.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

It sucks because the only reason you even do anything for your kids is the praise. Kinda makes you rethink your whole role

You don't strike me as the type of guy that needs things said.

Kids can be insensitive jerks.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

I do have a #1 Dad hot plate but the #1 is way off center and dad is lower case with one d being backwards. Hardly a just reward.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Are you #1 bad or dab?

True, but some cash would probably be nice.

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We were driving out to dc early Saturday morning. My wife bought some Dinkel's donuts for the trip and said Happy Father's Day. It was too early to be bitchy but I made a full breakfast with quiche, fruit, mamosas and rice crispy treats for Mother's Day but get donuts in return? It wasn't even a dozen.

It really isn't anything that bothers me. I'm more amused at the gesture.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Pretty sure it was supposed to say "#1 badass," but art classes at Catholic schools are almost prefunctory at this point.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Your kids want you to stop being such a bitch.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Yeah, something similar happened in my case. I made my wife a pretty nice gourmet meal for mother's day--grilled steak, marinated and grilled jumbo shrimp, marinated grilled scallops wrapped in bacon, my widely praised poblano-corn casserole, etc.

So what do I get for father's day? A cookbook.

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There is no doubt about that. I'm sure it is just hell to be around me some days when I am on a complaining roll.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I'm never really sure what to do for my husband. I always feel like when I do stuff he is adding up how much it costs. I also do a lot of stuff every other day of the year. He knows he is appreciated and loved but never sure what to do for him.

I was just doing my best impression of you.

You have my love and admiration.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

You've been a member of this board forever, and you still have questions about this?

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Yes. You have some insight please share it.

I kind of do that as well with adding up dollars spent. Getting nothing is perfectly fine with me. Time spent together and a extra effort pickle tickle at some point during the day is a great time for me.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I think Midget is saying you should satisfy Mr. Spaudling's most depraved desires

Guys are easy to please. Maybe there is a special dinner or meal he would want you to make. It doesn't have to cost a lot to make him happy. The fact that you even would ask him might make it even more worthwhile. It could be something as simple as taking the dog for a walk just the two of you with no kids.


Our cats "got" me a dozen Srixon golf balls for Father's Day, and a cute little card. We went away to Michigan for the weekend, but coming home last nite and having that to open was almost better than anything we did while we were away.

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You should probably stop sharing your cat children stories with us. I'm certainly not judging you but some of these other assholes might

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

You ditched your cats on Father's Day?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Crosscheck, it's safe to come back now.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

when speaking to my dog, I refer to my wife as Mama. Pisses her off! she hates him.

oh is Moma being mean to you again? poooor baby!

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

I'm the creative one.

Ha frank's cats got his balls!

So it was a bad weekend or a great gift?

You have really taken to this marriage thing.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

Go on. I accept pm as well

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.