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The Onion's Michael Phelps Apology
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Author:  Mini Ditka [ Sun May 27, 2012 10:58 am ]
Post subject:  The Onion's Michael Phelps Apology

NEW YORK—In a press release issued Friday, Olympic gold medal swimmer Michael Phelps publicly apologized to his fans and Americans everywhere after actually tasting one of the Subway sandwiches he endorses. "I am embarrassed, ashamed, and quite frankly disgusted in myself for encouraging other people to eat that bready, semi-meat-flavored amalgamation Subway attempts to pass off as a meal," the statement read in part, explaining that most commercial shoots only required Phelps to hold sandwiches near his face, and even so, he was under the impression that those were only props. "Actually watching the sandwich being made may have been even worse than eating it. Seeing that sad man peel translucently thin meat-sheets off damp paper and place them on limp marshmallowy bread, then dump on handfuls of gray-green vegetable matter and douse the whole thing in some goop out of a tube, took days off the end of my life. Again, I cannot begin to express how deeply sorry I am." The statement concluded by stating that Phelps will no longer continue on as a spokesman for Subway, adding that he would "rather endorse eugenics than that garbage."

Author:  lipidquadcab [ Sun May 27, 2012 11:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Onion's Michael Phelps Apology

I like Subway but that's pretty funny.

Author:  312player [ Sun May 27, 2012 11:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Onion's Michael Phelps Apology

:lol: ....better stick with that turd jered...that is actually a pretty accurate description of subway

Author:  Mini Ditka [ Sun May 27, 2012 11:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Onion's Michael Phelps Apology

At least when you go to Jimmy John's you know you're getting Hellmann's mayo on that thing.

Author:  doug - evergreen park [ Sun May 27, 2012 11:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Onion's Michael Phelps Apology

pretty good.

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