And of course, had a goat tee.

For providing a few minutes of hilarity as I eaves dropped a conversation between him and his wingman at the gym...talking about getting kicked out of bars for fighting and enjoying it, bitching about the bouncers, and "trolling for booty" at various after party bars...such as the cadillac ranch.

This is why I don't own a bar anymore. You get these guys coming in looking to fight, they aren't loud, etc. They do shit to egg people on. Maybe throw ice at someone. Not one piece, but constantly. Bump into people to make them drop drinks, etc.

As the owner, you always need to be the one to keep your cool. You always had to be polite in asking a complete asshole to leave. Then maybe one day, that guy sitting at the bar calling girls Caller Bobs as they walk past, won't leave and you need to remove him from the bar stool. He doesnt really fight you at this point, but he isnt cooperating either, he is looking at you like a serial killer. You finally get him off the bar stool, start pushing him out the door and as soon as you get him outside the door, he turns around and takes a swing at your face.

The maybe , just maybe, the neanderthal gene snaps and you grab the little shit by the throat and slam his head down on the car parked in front about 10 times while he says "stop...OK..stop" and you take about 5 more shots "to the ribs rock, to the ribs", as you then come back to earth, ask if he is OK, walk him down the street and maybe, just maybe you take one more shot right to his face, just as he did to start the issue.

Grab his wallet, take his ID, tell him it will be sent to him, thank him for the generous tip he just left the bartenders and make sure he is aware he is never allowed back in your bar again.

Of course, this story was told to me by some other bar owners and I don't believe any of it.

If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.

Patrick Swayze did so much good work with his shirt off.

That's why he carried his medical records with him!!!!!!!!!

No idea what this is in reference to but it's funny

Also noted...NO ANTESTETHIC!!!!

what's up with short guys always wanting to scrap in bars? I'm not particularly heighty--middle of the pack by CSFMB's altitudinous standards. But most of the times I've been involved in bar fracases it's involved mighty mouse manlets:

"As soon as I get a step stool, Ima fuck you up, bro!"
\


never fight a midget, not even on dare/lark/bet. you don't really lose but you can't win. and you end up pissing yourself laughing as this little person is climbing up your back, trying to strangle you.

There's no upside in fighting a midget. If you win, you look like a bully who picked on a midget. If you lose, you got your ass beat by a midget. That's why midgets can afford to walk around like cocky little pricks. I knew a midget who hung out in a bar called Bob & Kay's on the corner of Richmond and Waveland. Actually, he may have just been a very short guy. But he was a mouthy little son of a bitch. One time I had to tell him I was going to crack him in the face if he didn't stop acting like a jerk-off.

what's up with short guys always wanting to scrap in bars? I'm not particularly heighty--middle of the pack by CSFMB's altitudinous standards. But most of the times I've been involved in bar fracases it's involved mighty mouse manlets:

"As soon as I get a step stool, Ima fuck you up, bro!"
\

For providing a few minutes of hilarity as I eaves dropped a conversation between him and his wingman at the gym...talking about getting kicked out of bars for fighting and enjoying it, bitching about the bouncers, and "trolling for booty" at various after party bars...such as the cadillac ranch.

My high school wrestling team had a lot of short people who always walked around with their arms held slightly out, as if their bodies couldn't let their arms just hang to the sides like normal people. Future bar fighters of America, probably.

In his defense, he or his family were probably harmed. Possibly at his daughter's wedding.

There's no upside in fighting a midget. If you win, you look like a bully who picked on a midget. If you lose, you got your ass beat by a midget. That's why midgets can afford to walk around like cocky little pricks. I knew a midget who hung out in a bar called Bob & Kay's on the corner of Richmond and Waveland. Actually, he may have just been a very short guy. But he was a mouthy little son of a bitch. One time I had to tell him I was going to crack him in the face if he didn't stop acting like a jerk-off.