Whoa, you're probably wonderin' why the Stylie was chillaxin in fuckin all the way out in Sycamore but it's only cuz Brendan's younger bro Carson lives out there with his lady now. Fuckin' dude must be plowin her pretty regularly because she's about to bang out another baby and they're not even fuckin' my age yet! Holy shit that's insane, brah! Anyway they live out there and they go to this bar, I shit you not, is called the Cub and Spank. Hahaha what a totes hilar name...but the place is pretty cool. So they got this shuffleboard, and Carson's all..."I'm the best at this game" but it's like...it looks broken, even though the dude there said it was new.

Well, I cannot back down from a challenge, so I go, "Not when you play me, broses." And now it's fuckin' on, brah. Well, shit, the sand was all fuckin' shit up and it was like...what the hell, bro? But eventually we got it workin' and I totally schooled that little punk.

Well I must have drawn the attention of a buncha people because we had a whole crowd around us as things got really intense. Anyways, these two hot chicks started talkin' to me after the game. Carbomb's all..."Rematch rematch!" and I'm all, "I'm not Evander Holyfield, bro." He had no idea who the fuck I was talkin' about, but I guess a bunch of other peeps did because they were laughin' and shit. Carbomb was all sad, but then Brendan took the challenge and got his ass whooped.

So these two chicks, Tawney and Brittany their names, swear to God, they're actually from Yorkville originally...which I'm like, the fuck? But now they live in Sycamore and one of them was going to NIU years ago or somethin...I don't know. They were smokin' hot. And they saw me own shuffleboard so I bought the ladies a drink.

Then all the sudden this massive doucher comes up to me in his tight ass black shirt, and he goes, "This guy bothering you two ladies?" And they laugh and shit and say, "No, he just bought us drinks." The dude was totes ready to go, and he was drinkin' Monster energy drinks with vodka or some shit...so he was amped. But Carson and Brendan, and Carson's boys Gary and CJ, were right there. The little pussy backed down, and I got the Tawney chick's number. She had bigger taddies. Guess I'll see this weekend if she's worth the fuckin' trip out there again...but holy shit it was fuckin' amazeballs for reals.

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Dude, you are my bro.

Hook up with Bro' City O? Dude?

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Seriously doubt Wayne Stylie would be at a trashy bar like Cub n' Spanks.

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