good morning gentlepeople: this week i've got a pretty tricky decision @ QB, as i've got either RG3 vs the beloved or Philip Rivers @ JAX
btw, this week RG3's turnovers are on the house because I've also got the Bears DEF, so basically that means every INT/FUM he loses 2pts for comes back to my defense. RG3 lost 4pts off of INTs last week, so if I were to recoup those 4pts to my DEF it'd be like he had the solid ~18pt outing that would have propelled me to a much safer ~10pt victory.
---------warning, sinicalypse(TM) brand psychobabble ensues after this point. please hide all of the women, children, and of course 300+ pound giant womanchildren who masquerade around bbses like they're some last bastion of wit, soul, and decency in a place they've constantly reminded us is horrorshow bereft of such virtues. in other words, please get all of the pussies, Caller Bobs, and heifer boys out of the thread PRONTO. thx - the mgmt----------------
so yeah RG3's free turnovers sunday seems to give him the advantage, however.... i've actually
watched RG3. dude's all kinds of fucked up in regards to his space-age reconstructed knee; he does those 5-7 step drops and then the pocket collapses on him and oft times he'll step out of the pocket to keep surveying for one of his shit receivers and then he'll do the damndest thing: he'll step back into that collapsing pocket in order to step up and try to chuck a heavily-pressured wounded duck 20yds downfield in the direction of one of those piles of excrement known to the world as a washington redskingregs WR. it's enough to drive you mental when you see the WR to his left running a ~10yd in route with his defender marking him WHILST HAVING HIS BACK TURNED TO RG3, who could have easily not only scampered off to the left for ~7-15 yards, but he could have also gotten OOB without getting any sort of significant contact; you know, like how russell wilson plays the option/position.
so yeah, philip rivers is as philip rivers does and even tho he's got a pile of shit weapons and he's quite capable of having one of those ~11/13pt clunker games, he's way more prone to end up right around that magic ~20pts/week level that keeps your team going at a high enough level to score over 100 and likely win your weekly matchup/s. obviously RG3 has the bigger upside play with the bears' patented "turnovers or turnstiles" defense that any quarterback with a pulse should be able to put up 250/2 against... so with the bears likely to score their 30+ pts (they're the #3 scoring offense in the NFL right now, behind denver by a country mile and behind 2nd place by only 3pts.... fuck i forget who that is) --- indeed, it's going to be a 38-24 type game, or maybe even 41-34 or something.... or at least that's what we prognosticate b4hand when we figure there's no way in hell that the bears DEF is gonna stop anyone, but hey, if you can lull the saints to sleep by generously spotting them a ~10-14pt lead b4 halftime and the end result is they only put up 26 in a game, you never know. this redskins lot is horrible enough to give the bears one of those crazy 4INT 2TD games that they've famously had in bunches over the last few years.
unless RG3 suddenly smartens up (like dixie b4 him) and takes those ~7-15 yard option/ish runs that will undoubtedly be quite availble to him, you've got a great chance to tee off on him if he's compelled to improve his game as a pocket passer (read: not wanna fuck up the RGKnee) and throw some wildly pressured passes to those eager bears DBs.
---- WARNING: extreme tangenting follows this warning. i'm talking about, gasp, another msgboard that i like to post on. a question that an upstanding member of the CSFMB might ask himself b4 typing all of this crap = "...does anyone really want to read this?" --- you know, the age old question of the fundamental audacity of the artist who assumes that there's any audience for his works. if today's digitized cantankerous clone age of memetic internet protoculture has taught me anything, holy shit, it's that it is indeed quite audacious to assume that people want to read anything beyond ~200 characters of text pertaining to the topic at hand, as they're ready willing and able to call you an autist or, even worse, a psychotic rambler. yes indeedy, in this rather democratic day and age of digitized protoculture it is the solemn responsibility of the group to remind those audacious autist pricks that this isn't nam and there are rules here, smokey. follow them or face the wrath of the next meme! -----
(yes, you've been warned)
so yeah kids, forgive my rather psychotic urge to provide thoughts and analysis about my own question; indeed, i know it's atypical.... and last i checked my fantasy football msgboard du jour
http://www.fantasyfootballcafe.com was down, so i hope/pray/etc that it's back b4 gametime as i've got my peeps in the chatroom to check with not to mention i have this guilty pleasure of chiseling 30mins out of my morning schedule to post one of my threads and then live up to the WHIR massive way of life by spending the remaining time answering ~15-20 of people's thread aquestions in the hopes of adding some more funky icons that accompany my large giant pulsating green friendliness bar.
i should get the fucking "well informed, thorough, and comprehensive" boxes checked off every time but these motherfuckers can be lazy. i've spent the last week or two telling them that justin blackmon was going to be the waiver wire pickup of the year to whoever went and got him, so at least for the immediate future i certainly seem to be all set to bask in the glory of my correctness. SHOMER...... DOMINGO?!?! SI PUTA ES EL DOMINGO GRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
---TALKING POSTS WITH CHRIS HARDWICK STARTS *NOW*---
CH: sini, what was going through your mind when you wrote that post? holy smokes, man, this reminds me of that one time i was drunk at a house party and i thought it'd be a good idea to jerk off in bjork's shoe in the hopes of surprising her with a rather frank display of sexuality that would get me laid. in the end i found out that drinking isn't something i'm supposed to be doing. so what was going through
your head when you wrote that truly great post?
sini: well chris, first off fuck you and anyone who looks like you. cockroaches must worship you as some sort of deity because just when we think you're finally going to skitter off back to some channel in the 200s and host some sort of soup-ripoff clipshow that showcases ur LOL IM SUCH A BIG NERD xDDDDD sensibilities, which btw you can download and listen to over at nerdist.com, don't forget to check out the app!
but yeah, you know, i was just kind of pulling up danny mac's proverbial barstool to the workday saloon and shooting the shit like my guy from the streets hero, mike 'pappy' north. but really, the fact that someone's paying you to show up here and host TALKING POSTS for each and every post on the board? comeon chris. we know that you're a recovering shameful drunk who uses his incredibly crap standup to relay these stories of LE SO DRUNKKKK CHRIS HARDDICK xxx which is your half-assed attempt to convince us that you're actually a fallible human as opposed to some sort of robot built to host bland tv shows that go out of their way to pander to the goldmine that is "the nerd community" --- aka the kind of people who once thought paying $25 for a Lieutenant J.G. Geordi LaForge Star Trek TNG action figure was a great idea because the thing was so damned rare that it was only going to go up in value over the years, kind of like Star Wars toys. In other words, marks.
You represent the worst of the massmedia's attempts to pander to us, or well, you technically tie with felicia day because I don't want to be perceived as sexist in this day and age. Felicia Day can certainly be just as horrible of a so-called "entertainer" as you can. I mean seriously take a look at this dumpy ass bitch:
the only thing i'll give you credit for, chris, is that you don't have to screw some ~62 year old hacky hollywood screenwriter guy in order to get hooked up with all kinds of gigs throughout hollywood/TV/internet-endeavors (i mean seriously this bitch is one of the top youtube partners, her gnarly mug is pasted all over their official ads and images on their main site!) cuz like, think about that.... felicia day essentially LARPs as a "nerd grrl" and as such has attempted to portray herself as the quintessential masturbatory fantasy of the "hip cool and now nerd" cuz, you know, * taps noggin * you've gotta have it going on upstairs to have a chance with felicia downstairs.
that is, unless you're the 62 year old longtime hollywood hack screenwriter sugar/daddy who's getting her all kinds of gigs as his own unique way of saying thanks for spending the peak of your sexual prime fucking my beyond-middleaged-ass. not only did felicia give the old man what he wanted, but she also gave him what he NEEDED: free voluntary prostate exams when the shit got really kinky.
So yeah chris, at least you're not that.... and i don't want to walk up and punch you nearly as badly as i want to with Justin Long or Dimitri Martin, but seriously dude.... * makes finger cross b4 pointing at a picture of felicia day * at least you're not that
CH: well that's all the time we've got for tonight's episode of TALKING POSTS! Join us next week when we have a special show about all of the recently departed members called "yes, youmessedup17, and now you're a free ajent" and of course stay tuned for a sneak peak of next week's post during the airing of low winter sun, NEXT on any form of communications medium that will actually have low winter sun on.
/me takes a bow, shamefully realizing he should have just wrote another long rant about his radio hero, jason golf!
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