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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:24 pm 
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Clint loose and fading badly. Rowdy being Rowdy. Boogity!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:25 pm 
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Lap 12 of 267.

New leader Kasey Kahne.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:28 pm 
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Clinton Bowyer to the pits.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:29 pm 
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Hank Scorpio wrote:
Danica Patrick


This isn't like Golf Hank.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:30 pm 
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Oh yeah btw I forgot to point out that, indeed, I am a Tony Stewart guy. It was akin to the Vladimir Guerrero effect in baseball; I started watching NASCAR in 2005 cuz it was just about the only thing that came in on the antenna on my basement television in 2005 when I was dumping records / smashing beats, and from the moment I started watching that funky-looking 20 Home Depot car caught my eye and tickled my fancy, and go figure that it would go on to be the series champion that year. It was a gut reaction during those first few races I watched; the 20 was my ride.... kind of like when fantasy baseball got me into baseball during the 2001 season and I saw an ESPN baseball marathon on the 4th of july (RIP.... the damned MLB network has cut into ESPN's sporadic tendency to overindulge in airing games) and Les Expos were on and I was like "oh good, I can see what this Vladimir Guerrero guy on my team looks like" and once I saw him come up to the plate and bat: STEAK DINNER, BOOM. GAME SET MATCH GUERRERO; THIS IS MY GUY, THIS IS MY TEAM, GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!!! </guy-from-aliens>

Naturally, akin to Vlad, go figure that Tony is arguably the most talented pure racer out there, as he's won in both the Indy Series and in NASCAR and he loves racing on dirt tracks even more than he does the big Glam and Glitz NASCAR circuit, he's from Indiana man of the people and all that, and hey since I'm such a bigfan of Tony I've even adopted a stance where the sight of Kasey Kahne makes me melt down into a pile of warm gooey pudgeball, cuz like, comeon man if you're down with El Smokerino you gotta tense up a little bit and have that oddly pervasive smile that comes when your mind is overflowing with dopamine/endorphins released by the thought of the tantalizing corporeal form of the indelibly button-cute and OH SOOOOO DREAMY KASEY "KANDY" KAHNE..... oh KAHNER, like those housewife soccer mome from that advertising campaign a few years ago, I would.... I so would. I'd call you dreamy, but even my dreams aren't able to do your beautiful visage justice. Let's just say that when you're available I'll kick that publicity stunt whore Danica to the curb and you could race on my team any day of the week. Stewart-Kahne racing has a nice ring to it, just like the one you put not on my finger but directly on my heart when you overloaded my synaptical receptors with your indelibly divine presence.

/me pulls a piledriver video move and runs to the porty potty with a NASCAR magazine. if anyone comes with a forklift there will be hell to pay, cuz it's ME + KASEY TIME!

There you go, KS... in your honor I have just unleashed the gayest post I will ever make on the CSFMB. You are nothing if not the go-to inspiration for indelible greatness on the CSFMB =D

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:32 pm 
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OH MY GOD KASEY KAHNE IS IN THE LEAD?!?!

it's synchronicity, baby! it's like carl jung said: synchronicity is when god desires to remain anonymous. once i opened up my heart and slacks to (*blood pressure rises*) kasey "kandy" kahne, my lord, i'll be damned if he didn't go out and take the lead of the race..... to win my heart!

</smokerino>

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:33 pm 
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Keeping Score wrote:
Apologist wrote:
Clint loose and fading badly. Rowdy being Rowdy. Boogity!


Good call Apologist. Bowyer is already pitting.

I'm just relieved my N key was working properly

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:35 pm 
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There is a very strong wind and constant breezy conditions on the track. Some of these cats have totally missed their setup.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:36 pm 
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donspiracy wrote:
I look for Denny Hamlin to drive through the entire field answer still win the race after mysterious pit road penalties and a Hilton special late caution or two.

Feeling confident with my new shades and tie Huge Stool has given me, I am there for those less informed racing fans like myself and will ask a stupid question now and again. What, pray tell, is this Hilton Special of which you speak.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:37 pm 
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Sorry I'm late!

(I want half of what Sini's on! :drunken: )

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:37 pm 
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BTW I absolutely love hating Danica. Aside from the fact that I'm a flaming homosexual, she's such a prissy spoiled bitch that everything that goes wrong for her (invariably, it's many things) isn't her fault and she's already world-renown for screaming at her team for failing her whenever something goes wrong. It's never Danica's fault.

Danica obviously has her legion of ALSers tho, cuz I remember during the first race when there was that slight problem in the pits that dropped her back ~5-8 spots or whatever, people in #nascar were claiming that she was nice and positive to her crew, as they were listening to her radio on one of those NASCAR sunday-ticket deals where you get access to all of the different cams/radios.

My best guess is that now that she's running in the Sprint Cup full-time that she knows she's gotta put on a happy face for her radio communications and she'll only show her true colors when the shit REALLY hits the fan. I don't think they had total access to team radios in the Nationwide/IndyCar series, so now that she's part of a bigger marketing machine she knows to watch her ass. I'm willing to bet that after the race once all of the beat/reporters come around and do their things that everyone on Team Danica is reminded that they cost her the race and fucked her so bad she finished 40th. I'm glad to see that she's back on pace to have another upper-30s-at-best pace, cuz she almost spelled it out that the Daytona pole/finish was a flukey spectacle that people AREN'T gonna see from week to week, as if NASCAR had conspired to hook her up with a little extra OOMPH to be/remain a national story/line for a week or two. C'est la vie!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:38 pm 
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Keeping Score wrote:

I would say the Nascar heels are the Busch brothers.



That's a good thought. If anyone is outside of the Charlotte-centric NASCARplex establishment, it's these two loose cannons. The California guys just kinda seem PC to me, but I don't know if Southerners really hate them anymore?

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:38 pm 
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Lap 37 of 267.

Down to 27 cars on the lead lap. Biffle to the pits. Pit window is about 50 laps.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:39 pm 
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Houston Homer wrote:
Sorry I'm late!

(I want half of what Sini's on! :drunken: )
Is meth suddenly unavailable in the Houston area?

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:39 pm 
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sinicalypse wrote:
BTW I absolutely love hating Danica. Aside from the fact that I'm a flaming homosexual, she's such a prissy spoiled bitch that everything that goes wrong for her (invariably, it's many things) isn't her fault and she's already world-renown for screaming at her team for failing her whenever something goes wrong. It's never Danica's fault.

Danica obviously has her legion of ALSers tho, cuz I remember during the first race when there was that slight problem in the pits that dropped her back ~5-8 spots or whatever, people in #nascar were claiming that she was nice and positive to her crew, as they were listening to her radio on one of those NASCAR sunday-ticket deals where you get access to all of the different cams/radios.

My best guess is that now that she's running in the Sprint Cup full-time that she knows she's gotta put on a happy face for her radio communications and she'll only show her true colors when the shit REALLY hits the fan. I don't think they had total access to team radios in the Nationwide/IndyCar series, so now that she's part of a bigger marketing machine she knows to watch her ass. I'm willing to bet that after the race once all of the beat/reporters come around and do their things that everyone on Team Danica is reminded that they cost her the race and fucked her so bad she finished 40th. I'm glad to see that she's back on pace to have another upper-30s-at-best pace, cuz she almost spelled it out that the Daytona pole/finish was a flukey spectacle that people AREN'T gonna see from week to week, as if NASCAR had conspired to hook her up with a little extra OOMPH to be/remain a national story/line for a week or two. C'est la vie!


best.post.ever.

:D

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:41 pm 
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Apologist wrote:
Houston Homer wrote:
Sorry I'm late!

(I want half of what Sini's on! :drunken: )
Is meth suddenly unavailable in the Houston area?

Please do not discount the expanded knowledge sini is blessing us with. Lakum salaam.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:42 pm 
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*Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting or have any knowledge that sinicollapse is actually on meth. Just his posts give that impression that he's been hanging out with Jeremy Mayfield*

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:43 pm 
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Houston Homer wrote:
Sorry I'm late!

(I want half of what Sini's on! :drunken: )


Alls I'm "on" is the afterglow from an IHOP velvet pancakes combo. I decided to splurge and accept both the bacon and sausage into my life. But hey, at this juncture I guess I gotta accept the fact that since I occasionally have critical thoughts and the boundless audacity to run a joke into the ground via 2-3 long/form paragraphs, I must obviously be on some sort of drugs. Well, that and I don't dig the History Channel's incredibly popular/educational/historic contemporary programming.

BTW, I can co-sign the Busch-brothers-as-heels things, as when I first got into NASCAR people were saying NASCAR conspired to purposely junk "Rowdy" early in a chase where up until those final ~10-12 races he was clearly the car to beat in terms of the then-Nextel-Cup. I don't remember if it was 06 07 or 08, but one of those years man holy shit during the "regular season" that 18 (cuz I'm pretty sure it was after he left the 5) was far and away the best car/driver going from week to week, and then a couple'a OMFG bad races in the chase and splat, dude was effectively neutered.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:43 pm 
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Apologist wrote:
Houston Homer wrote:
Sorry I'm late!

(I want half of what Sini's on! :drunken: )
Is meth suddenly unavailable in the Houston area?


:lol: :lol: :lol:

I doubt it, and it is available in Indiana (where I am currently in exile), but I'm too damn old. :wink:

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:44 pm 
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Lap 48 of 267.

Green flag pit stops under way. Kyle busch speeding on pit road...

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:45 pm 
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Apologist wrote:
*Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting or have any knowledge that sinicollapse is actually on meth. Just his posts give that impression that he's been hanging out with Jeremy Mayfield*


Jesus Christ almighty you NASCAR ISOPers are a prissy bunch. If you're at all familiar with meth, typically getting "tweaked" tends to shut you up, as your mind speeds up and starts racing so fast that you're often gripped with paranoia and such consequent overthought that you're unable to meander as freely and openly as I am doing.

And touche senor piracy; I know that I'm far from a NASCAR maven, but hey at least my heart is in it and I'm here to enjoy the sport of kings..... of southern rural trailer parks ;)

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:46 pm 
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sinicalypse wrote:
Houston Homer wrote:
Sorry I'm late!

(I want half of what Sini's on! :drunken: )


Alls I'm "on" is the afterglow from an IHOP velvet pancakes combo. I decided to splurge and accept both the bacon and sausage into my life.


As a proud employee of the pork industry, I salute you! :salut: I also share your loathing of the Busch brothers. :D

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:47 pm 
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sinicalypse wrote:
Apologist wrote:
*Disclaimer: I'm not suggesting or have any knowledge that sinicollapse is actually on meth. Just his posts give that impression that he's been hanging out with Jeremy Mayfield*


Jesus Christ almighty you NASCAR ISOPers are a prissy bunch. If you're at all familiar with meth, typically getting "tweaked" tends to shut you up, as your mind speeds up and starts racing so fast that you're often gripped with paranoia and such consequent overthought that you're unable to meander as freely and openly as I am doing.

And touche senor piracy; I know that I'm far from a NASCAR maven, but hey at least my heart is in it and I'm here to enjoy the sport of kings..... of southern rural trailer parks ;)

You are more than welcome good sir and amongst friends.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:51 pm 
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Lap 60 of 267.

Kahne still leads. Only 19 cars still on the lead lap.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:52 pm 
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Keeping Score wrote:
I'm gonna need a pic suggestion from Apologist and sini so that I can include you in future Raceday features.


a pic suggestion? you mean for my virtual "racing avatar" or whatever you wanna call it?

also man, percolating through the different online streams as i'm away from the proper television battlestation, I've found some of the nascar-sunday-ticket stuff where they show commercial-free feeds split into multiple screens of random cars and "leader cam" and like, I found myself going "WTF" and hunting for a stream of the proper fox coverage. What can I say? I'm a good lil program that needs my Mike Joy Larry Mack and DEEEE DUBYA. Boogity(x3) you know the rest.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:54 pm 
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Keeping Score wrote:
Coming up on the top of the hour and not one caution yet. Hmmmmmmmm

Helton getting itchy.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:56 pm 
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Damn, Stenhouse in the top 10. I guess moving up from (mutiple) Nationwide Champ to the big leagues and getting Danica on the joy-stick is a sign that you've truly "made it" in NASCAR country, eh?

btw, one of you gearheads can explain this one to me: why do I often see someone like Nemechek listed as "OFF" early on in races like this? I know there's a term that describes who guys who get into the race, run a few laps to get their sponsor's name/brand out there, but then they park the car and call it a race. So like, why do they do this and what is it called? I know it's like "[something]-and-park" but for the life of me, it seems utterly pointless to qualify for a race, go out there and run ~10-20 laps, and then go "welp we've got nothing let's call it a day" especially when you're likely in a good position to go beat Danica.

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Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:56 pm 
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Helton special at its finest race after 70 laps.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:58 pm 
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It's unclear Las Vegans eat hot dogs. (They are VEGANS, rite? :drunken: )

Perhaps a $50 chip from the Cameltoe will get caught in someone's splitter.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 10, 2013 3:04 pm 
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wow they've got cupholders in these things? i hope they come with sirius/XM radio because man, when I buy a car I make sure it ONLY looks like one of those everyday cars I see on NASCAR tracks...
Image

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