Wow, I just woke up! I think I've been asleep for several months. I really need to get caught up on the Chicago sports scene.

Well, I'm not a big fan, but I guess I'll tune in to the Mike North Morning Show to find out what's going on. What's that? Oh, really? Well . . .

Where's my Sun Times? What's Jay Mariotti beefing about today? Huh? Geez . . .

OK then, this afternoon, Danny Mac will have to fill me in. Oh, come on, you've GOT to be kidding!

You say the Bulls are playing tonight? All right, then I'll at least read Sam Smith in the Trib to get my NBA fix and then what time will Tom Dore be on tonight with the call of the game? WHAT?! BOTH of them are gone, too?!

Yikes, I don't believe all these media happenings. Where are Ed Sherman's and Rob Feder's columns to get me up to date? Yeah? I should have known. I'm seeing a pattern here.

At least I'll have the lovely Kerry Sayers tonight at 10 to catch me up on things. Noooooo, say it ain't so!!!

What the hell?! This is too much. Next thing you know, someone is going to tell me Blackhawks home games are on TV!
Sorry, just a joke. That's too much for even Rip Van Crappy to believe.

Anyway, Steve Dahl sometimes talks sports. I'll just let him get me up to speed.