You wouldn't believe what happened to me earlier today.

This morning my yellow highlighter ran out of ink. Really nice highlighter. Great feel in the hand and glided along 8x11. Anyways, had to think quick so I rushed to our facilities manager to ask where the office supplies are kept. Playa, you wouldn't believe what happened. She walked with me to the supplies closet and showed where we kept ALL our office supplies. You know what's even crazier?! Dude, we had yellow AND green AND orange AND green AND blue highlighters. You best believe I grabbed each color. Talk about getting HOOKED UP. Unbelievable, right?

Whatchu got?

This just sucks.

Our office secretary retired, and yesterday was her last day. She was kind and always delivered the paper copy of the Wall Street Journal to my office promptly. Well this morning, her replacement was being shown around by an office veteran. As they stopped by my office with a stash of WSJ's in their hands, they told me the delivery person did not bring enough. I was forced to read the WSJ after my neighbor had finished reading his. Thus, I didn't see the days pertinent headlines until after 3:00. And it was riveting from the editorial to fire Comey and the Chinese financial bubble. No person should have to wait until the afternoon to read the WSJ.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

There are no words

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You're right, there were no words to read. I was depressed all day.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

I'm going to try and remember to give you shit about this the next time I see you...

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Obviously the idea was to give some mundane story and make it sound tragic. That's what I did.

But yeah, the WSJ is really much better first thing in the morning and it is a must read for us financial types. You're always welcome to give me shit!

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Hawaii (fuck) You

So a couple of days ago I needed to unload a huge piss at work. So I go to the bathroom and the custodian blocked off the bathroom. The hell do I do?! Custodian comes out and goes, "I gotchu, playa. If you take the elevator to the 1st floor there's a bathroom there.". Bruh. Hear that shit. Custodian giving me the inside scoop on the bathrooms in my building. Pretty sweet eh?