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Wrong section but funny
https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=34355		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  STU-GOTZ [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:40 am ]
Post subject:  Wrong section but funny
He was born a poor black child. He died a rich white woman.

Q: What are Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson getting for Christmas?
A: Patrick Swayze

Q, What's the difference between Farrah Fawcett and MJ?
A, One did Majors, one did minors.

Q: What’s the difference between MJ and Farrah Fawcett?
A: About three hours.

Q. What are the Jackson 5 offering at their next concert?
A. A 20% discount.

Q. What was MJ's last hit?
A. The floor.

Q. What were MJ's final words?
A. "Take me to the children's hospital."

Q. Why did MJ die at 3:15?
A. That's when the big hand is on the little hand.

Q. What was the last thing MJ was arrested for?
A. Cardiac arrest.

Q. Why do jockeys respect MJ so much?
A. He rode more 3 year olds than anyone.

Q. What did the 911 operator say when he was told MJ's heart had stopped?
A. "Just beat it."

Q. What did St. Peter say when MJ arrived in heaven?
A. "Beat it."

Q. What will they say at MJ's eulogy?
A. He went from the cradle to the grave.

Q: What's the difference between Ed McMahon and MJ?
A: Ones says, “Here’s Johnny!” the other says, "Where's Johnny?"

Q. What’s the difference between MJ and acne.
A. Acne usually waits until you are 15 to come on your face.

Q. Why did MJ's heart stop working?
A. It found out it was black.

Q. Have you played the new MJ version of Clue?
A.. It was Bubbles in the dining room with a candlestick holder.

Q. How did MJ's doctor convince him to take his final injection?
A. He told him he'd feel a small prick.

Q. Why was MJ kicked out of the Boy Scouts the day before he died?
A. He was up to a pack a day.

MJ woke up on the gurney and asked the paramedic if he'd died and gone to heaven. The paramedic said, "No, we’re just wheeling you through the children's ward."

I didn't feel any emotion after MJ’s death. He never really touched me when I was younger.

There was a delay at the hospital when MJ arrived. He didn't have insurance and they don't take plastic.

MJ's upcoming dates in London have been canceled, including James (age 9) and Thomas (age 11).

When MJ's doctor called 911, they asked how sick he was. The doctor said, "He's in bed with two young boys. How sick is that?"

When paramedics arrived at MJ’s home, they found Class A drugs in the kitchen, Class B drugs in the bathroom and Class 4C in his bedroom.

When paramedics arrived, they knew it was serious: MJ had no color left.

MJ came home earlier that day and found his girlfriend packing her bags. Michael: “What are you doing?” Girlfriend: “I’m leaving you! I just found out you’re a pedophile!” Michael: “You have a big mouth for a 7 year old!”

Former child star Macaulay Culkin remembering MJ: "He touched me in ways only a Catholic priest would understand."

The Boy Scouts are mourning MJ's death by wearing their pants at half-mast.

Say what you like about MJ, at least he drove past schools slowly.

McDonald’s announced a new burger in MJ's honor. A 50 year old piece of meat between ten year old buns.

KFC announced a new meal in MJ's honor. A piece of dark meat between two white thighs.

Police say MJ might have died from an allergic reaction to eating 12 year old nuts.

For his upcoming tour, MJ was developing a killer dance move. Looks like he finished it.

Since he's 99% plastic, MJ will be melted into Lego blocks so kids can still play with him.

MJ's cremated ashes will be put in an Etch-a-Sketch, so kids can still play with him.

MJ dies at age 50. His nose was 15.

When young boys were asked about MJ's death, some said, "He will be sorely missed." while others said, "Now I can sleep with both eyes closed."

MJ is returning to his roots. After being cremated, he will be black again.
Author:  Douchebag [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
wrong section.
Author:  STU-GOTZ [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
Douchebag wrote:
wrong section.


NO SHIT ??
Author:  good dolphin [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
What Elton John song did MJ hate?

"Don't Let The Son, Go Down On Me"
Author:  shirtless driver [ Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
still waiting for the "but funny" part of this thread. :roll:
Author:  STU-GOTZ [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
shirtless driver wrote:
still waiting for the "but funny" part of this thread. :roll:



beat it !!
Author:  bigfan [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
The

Tragedy + Time = Comedy equation has not gone into effect yet
Author:  PcB [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
bigfan wrote:
The

Tragedy + Time = Comedy equation has not gone into effect yet

How the hell is Michael Jackson dying considered a tragedy?

Child molesters die in prisons around the country everyday. Are those tragedy's as well?

Even if you think he's innocent, how is the death of a washed up musician any more tragic then the guy down the street dying or the lady that makes the doughnuts dying. I'm so sick of this fucking "bandwagon" death hopping. Where the fuck were all of his fans before he died? Before he died he was considered a "freak", "little boy toucher" and a "washed up musician". Now that he's dead, nobody can say anything bad about him or make jokes because he's an "American Icon" or a "troubled soul". Fuck that.

/rant
Author:  Killer V [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
Image
Author:  Killer V [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
Image
Author:  lipidquadcab [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
Killer V wrote:
Image


There is win...

There is epic win...

Then there is this...

:salut:
Author:  shirtless driver [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
now that's funny, Killer V. :lol:

Love your avatar, btw.
Author:  W_Z [ Fri Jul 03, 2009 11:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Wrong section but funny
Killer V, winner!

I wish I was like him!!! He's a role model!
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