While you're never really certain a guy as implosive as Zambrano won't burst at any moment, he has sailed through the first two months of the season without tantrum or incident. Gatorade coolers have stopped cowering when he passes. For that, I give Quade a thumbs up. He's the first Cubs boss to find the key that opens the door to a consistently Good Z.

Quade goofed, however, when he pinch hit Zambrano Tuesday night in the series opener. The Cubs had a seven-run lead. With the back end of the rotation decimated by injury, necessitating a steady diet of James Russell, Casey Coleman and now Doug Davis, the Cubs should be intent on protecting Zambrano, who's as close to pitching like a No.1 since 2008.

The Yankees could be a taker. And if Joe Girardi gave Zambrano a crack at a DH assignment and hit him last, Z would be most amenable, unlike the pouty Jorge Posada, who withdrew his services when dropped to ninth in a game against the Red Sox on May 15.

Ozzie and Z to Florida

I know it's being talked about in the previous post, but this column deserves a thread all it's own. It is sub-Mariottian, because at least with Mariotti I never actually thought he believed what he wrote. I sure as hell hope McNeil doesn't believe this.


Zambrano has made 10 starts this season. Four have been quality starts. His ERA is more than half a run higher than it has been any season since his rookie year, when he was 20 and made a couple of bad September appearances. His walks are down, but so are his strikeouts. I wish I lived in the imagined universe where Zambrano was pitching like a number one starter.

But that's just garden-variety stupid. For the really exotic stupid, the kind of stupid that Andrew Zimmern travels to Mozambique to find, you have to get to this:



Dan McNeil just recommended that play a pitcher as a DH. Not as a pinch hitter in a tough situation. He recommended you play a pitcher with a .249 on base percentage and a sub-.400 slugging percentage in a position where you do nothing but hit. If Elmherst Shreve was still around (PBUH), this is the sort of idea that I would dismiss as being too ridiculous to use as a parody of our racist painter. And Dan McNeil got paid sawbucks by a media corporation for this. Elmhurst Steve is getting screwed! If this is worth money, surely his thoughts are worth some coin as well, and not just a few beers down at the lodge.

Steve in Elmhurst wants nothing to do with the Lodge.