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There doesn't seem to be any sort of "official" show thread for the SIR LAURENCE OF SHAKE THAT experience, so I'm creating this one in the hopes of chronicling his adventures through the airwaves that range anywhere from 20mins to "the full boat" aka 4hrs.
PULSEline >> Tuesday, July 24 2012 circa 6:05pm <<
Today we're TEASED with 20mins (not counting updates/commercials) of Laurence and I, for one, feel like this is Murph cramming a whole lot of show into a little time. Right off the bat Laurence reminds us that we're missing out if we're not gabbing it up with him on Twitter (which seems to have replaced facebook as the #1 location to keep his fingers on the PULSE of the Chicago sports fan) and he doesn't waste any time getting into a proper rant that, surprise surprise, takes the player's side in a pissing contest with management.
The subject of Laurence's ire is how we're all "hating on" Ryan Dempster and his 10/5 rights. As we know, Laurence speaks for us, The People(tm) as he gives us our hour where COLON, we do whatever we want.... this, of course, derives from his vintage segment THE PULSE, which he presumably sent out to pasture because it's a little bit redundant to have a special segment that focuses on having his fingers on the pulse of the hotbed issues in today's fit of mental masturbation; this is Laurence W. Holmes, such things are assumed.
In the case of Dempster, Laurence lashed out at all of us haters and reminded us that RYAN DEMPSTER EARNED HIS 10/5 RIGHTS. he reminded us that we have nothing to say about the issue because if we were in his position [he said this emphatically] WE'D BE DOING THE SAME EXACT THING. Furthermore, Laurence told us to stop pretending that we're suddenly experts on Braves' pitching prospects and to let the process play out. Sure, while he'd LIKE Dempster to get on with his bad self and bring the Cubs a proper pitching prospect (because, clearly, Laurence *IS* an expert on Braves' pitching prospects) there's still a few days left until the trade deadline and he figures that the situation will play out in such a way that it's mutually beneficial to all parties involved.
What strikes me about tonight is that Laurence has DA FIRE AND DA PASHIN for this topic. While some of you HATERS might go out of your way to claim that "Leery" (you guys have to inform me when there's an official board roundtable to designate new nicknames for our guy SHAKE THAT) intrinsically sides with the players because he sees himself as "just one of the guys" much like Justine Bateman was back in that powerful movie of the same name in the 80s. Therefore, Laurence's gears are ALWAYS churning out support for Chicago athletes because, unlike B&B, Laurence works hard to cultivate positive relationships with athletes who actually come on his show.
So don't be surprised in the not too distant future if Demp gets word that Laurence has his back and you're literally in stitches LOLing at yet another hilarious Ryan Dempster(tm) brand celebrity impersonation from the friendly confines of THE PEOPLE'S SHOW COLON WE DO WHAT WE WANT! SUP HARD BAKE?!?!
Anyways, I have to shut up and soak in the tail end of Laurence's intrepid Bears reporting because he's trying to cram a whole lot of show into a mere ~20-25 minutes of airtime. I'm going to have to recreate the Laurence W. Holmes 30min drinking game, because if you need to get drunk in * fingersnap * no time flat, look no further than the Score's very own Lantern, Laurence gets you to the promised land quicker than a new Lamborghini.
_________________ Curious Hair wrote: Les Grobstein's huge hog is proof that God has a sense of humor, isn't it?
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Thats why they've been working here ten years 
