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With the recent demise of the Monsters in the Morning show on Comcast, it was announced that the Mike North Graveyard of Dashed Hopes, Broken Dreams, Ruined Careers, and Cancelled Shows will be undergoing a massive expansion. "We have to get the Monsters show buried in here by Dec. 31," said head cryptkeeper BeBe North, "and quite honestly, we simply do not have the room to inter any more of Mike's numerous failures."
Apparently, the plans include the construction of a new high-rise mausoleum that will contain several stories of above-ground crypts that can hold the remains of all the bungled Mike North projects for many years to come. "Yeah, Be's right," added Mike North. "Our original space was kinda small and all duh in-ground plots is already full. Duh new plans look great! I is pretty excited about dis mosso-, maussuh-, whatever, ya know, dat buildin' dat has graves in it."
In recent years, the graveyard has been hit with a rash of new burials, most notably including the Mike North Morning Show, Mike North's Score career, the CD "Caucasian Man," the book "Settling the Score", Pappywear, the dontfademe.com website, the Wildfire webcast, Chicago Sports Webio, and the careers of broadcasters such as Anne Maxfield, Fred Huebner, Matt Weber, Chet Coppock, and Jen Patterson.
The new mausoleum building may also include a central exhibition area that can display various artifacts relating to Mike North's many failures such as the vestments worn by the Bookie Priest, the actual page from Webio's books showing gross income of $2,300 in advertising revenue, and George Ofman's first-class plane ticket to Calgary to cover the Hawks in the playoffs and a large plaque or tablet on which some of Mike's most infamous lies about his career and his achievements will be inscribed. "It'll be a great place tuh bring duh family and see all dis history," said North. "In a few months, we'll be outdrawin' all duh udder museums an' attractions in Chicago."
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