It seems that the sports update people in Chicago have taken on a very important role in our lives, so lets rank 'em. Can be any one of the Score, ESPN 1000, WGN or WBBM update people....past and present. I know there's more than what I currently put, so help me out. I know that I'm missing a whole bunch of ESPN 1000 guys.
Add commentary if you want, but not too personally abrasive and cheap shotty. Being an update person isn't as easy as it may sound, just look at the on-air contests The Score used to run.....kinda bad. I tried this too in the college realm.....really really bad and sad.

1) Mark Grote (sounds like he enjoys his job and I rarely hear him screw up. He doesn't take it too seriously and I like that about him, he gets it)
2) Jordan Bernfield (very fluid and professional, rarely flubs his words)
3) Ray Florez (sort of sounds like a salesmen when he does his updates, but does them pretty well)
4) Chris Rongey (does a fine job, but don't think he really like doing updates.....just the impression that I get. He's weird and I identify with that weirdness)
5) Zach Zaidman (good as an update guy, too whispery on Bears All Access)
6) Fred Huebner...MY GUY!!! (when we really need to know some soccer updates, he's our man. Loves craft beer, bonus point in my book)
7) George Ofman (Long time update guy in town. Knows his craft and sometimes provides the best drops ever)
#8 Wayne Randazzo (was good and bolted for the Mets job. Bernfield is now him)
9) Dan Bernstein (Back in the day on THE SCORE!!!!!)
10) David Shuster (Jack of all trades and grindy)
11) Matt Rodewold (my apologai for forgetting Matt in here)
12) Julie Swieca (no longer doing this and in the baking realm. She did a decent job and was the nicest person I'd ever met, how can one not like her?
13) Connor McKnight (he won a contest and does a really fine job on that "in")
14) Les Grobstein (well, he kind of has to do them with being over night)
15) Joe Ostrowski (see above)
16) Drinky (he fits in here somewhere and Beardown really loves him)
17) Lawrence Holmes (I believe that he used to do updates if I recall correctly)
18) Kevin Z-Pack (sp?) (haven't heard much from him, but did ok the time I heard)
19) Kerry Sayers (ok, but seemed like she flubbed up at least once per update. Is she still employed by The Score?)
20) Julie DiCaro (everyone's favorite, lol! I don't think she's that bad. An occasional screw up, but needs to stay off social media for awhile maybe)
21) Sarah Spain ......yep.
22) Brian Paruk (sp?) Chad Johnson's buddy?




56) Mitch Berger......ikes.



83) Herb Lawrence (he had perhaps the worst sports update that I've ever heard one night...and at the next break was even worse. Maybe he improved days later, but it's probably good for him to no be doing them. Good luck in San Diego, Herbie)


More to come...add as you think of them.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

I like Jordan Bernfield. Another guy I mentioned a week or so ago that sounds good is Kevin Z-Pack.

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Ah yes, I forgot about him...pretty good.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

Zaidman is really good because he gets in and out of there as quickly as possible with no bullshit.

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Eaglo Beardown

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Totino's
Lemon Pledge
Cherry Coke

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I haven't started any made up dialogue between hosts & producers.......yet.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

That's all I want from an update person. Read it and get the fuck off the air. Don't editorialize, because I don't give a fuck what you think about anything. If I do, I will tune in if and when you get airtime as host.

Bernstein used to do pretty good updates when he started out at the station. He'd add a some colorful verbiage as you might image, but he rarely flubbed his lines. This, of course, is back when he wasn't the festering hippopotamus sphincter he is now.

And members of Hippopotamus Sphincter.....

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

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102.) The rat that lives in the Score studio that they haven't been able to exterminate.











267.) Drinky

Sounds like Beardown has a little axe to grind with Drinky.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

Ray Flores is a fucking moron. Terrible pick in terms of where you have him on your list. Terrible. His sing-song cadence is irritating as hell, and he flubs stuff all the time. If he writes his own material, he's an even worse writer. Reconsider this rank, Jeff.

I gues I haven't heard enough of him. I know what you mean on the sing-song thing.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

Well, that was easy. Now Quick Pay me $500...

Nothing beats a Grote update around NFL camp time....

"Cub 6, Red 5, ........bears"

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Grote is the best. Z Pack also solid.

Like an O Lineman, only noticed when bad,....

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Drinky should not be anywhere near the #11 spot.

Also, Mark Rodewald should be on the list, and somewhere around 33rd.

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Not a mult.

Forgot about Rodewald. He's good.

What about Matt?

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Ofman b/c it reminds me of being young and virile.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

Thanks guys....my forget.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

I don't completely agree on that. Grote's update today was the influence for the rankings. His update today was nearly flawless and fun (and had slight interaction with the hosts, the way it should be)

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

I agree with you, Grote does a good job. My question is what the heck is Rongey's job at the station? He didn't get the Sox gig or the Cubs gig, he has no show, why is he still there?

The new guy in the morning sounded good the other day, Kevin ? maybe.

Julie is incompetent and useless, Drinky is a waste, Fred Huebner is pretty good and Connor did good enough
to get the Sox job. Jordan is pretty good too and seems bright, not a condescending jerk like Rongey- he has a
decent future.

Kerry stumbled a lot, but unlike Julie, she was likeable.

Rodewald is the minimum acceptable level of update person. Good but not great voice, minimal flubs, give him $5 and send him back to his cubicle for another 30 minutes. Josh Liss at BBM fits that level, Joniak is a little less. Grote came out of that BBM mold before he got traded to SCR, except he has a lot more personality and thus is much better.

Bernfield should be given opportunities to read news on BBM on the weekends. He's a professional voice, and as long as he doesn't give his opinions (which often suck), he's a pleasant listen. But he's like Randazzo and Rongey, wants a baseball play by play job which are few and far between. Randazzo got the Mets opportunity for pre/post, and Rongey either lost the White Sox opportunity or was going to have to take a pay cut because he wouldn't be able to supplement the job with updates.

The original Sports Phone guys like Huebner, Shorty George, Gleason, and Schuster could wake up out of a drunken stupor and still give you 45 seconds of updates. I still remember being at my aunt's house in the late 1970s as a junior high school student and my cousin giving his mom dimes so we could call SportsPhone from her house, and we didn't have any money on the games.

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"When people want their version of the truth, they go find it, no matter how baseless their beliefs." -- Ken Rosenthal

Goes to show you how forgettably awful he was. Screwed up a lot more than people give him (dis)credit for, has a thin, reedy voice, and pretends he's Bernstein on the rare fill-in occasion, when he has no gravitas to play that character.

With all that, Eaglo puts him in at #9

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Not a mult.

The rankings are changing as I get reminded of ones I missed.

By all means make your own rankings, that's what I was thinking was going to happen here.

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-"God is great. Beer is good. And People are crazy!"

Yeah, Rodewald is (was?) possibly the worst host on the Score. Acted like hosting a show on the radio in Chicago was such a fucking burden. Fine, don't.

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Grote, hands down.

ZZ may be brief, but he's an automatic PTFB for me given his long tenure of Bears idiocy and ass-lickery. His normal / host sports thought are the dumbest I've ever heard.

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