Is anyone putting the Bears in the Superb Owl if they win Sunday? I would assume not. I feel like this is the fourth or fifth time Dan wrote this column. Tell people they're idiotic for celebrating a Cup title. The NBA regular season means nothing, so don't celebrate January wins. People will watch Sunday and be joyous should their team win and advance to the postseason. And then, GASP, the same fans will be excited to watch a playoff game. Sports are fun. I enjoy them. Shoot me if I ever reach Dan's holier than thou attitude in regards to them.

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-- source

Consider it done.

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Sure, the Bears won the Super Bowl but they still haven't cured cancer, meatball.

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You know me like that.

Give me the Big Pussy treatment. Just not in the face.

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-- source

No joke

The Bernstein buddies (Maddux Boy Schmutzie 10 foot) were PISSED when they heard that

Why the fuck continue the column if you cut the legs out from your entire argument in the second paragraph?

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Look into the depths of this man's tortured soul. Forced to read copy he neither believes nor endorses in order to put food on his family's table, dan bernstein is a tightly wound ball of anger and confusion ready to launch into a diatribe against callers to his show at a moment's notice. HIPAA laws do not allow us to disclose whether he is seeking psychological counseling for his obvious anger issues. Bravely hanging up on the cowards before they hang up on him first, dan fights through his pain to entertain us five days a week. He is... Chicago's Big Ten shock jock.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don