Have to keep the grass short and the blades sharp but they’re not terrible for a small patch. I just prefer a rider.

What squirrel said. Also is a big advantage to have a flat yard.

What Squirrel and Matt said.
Those things suck otherwise.
I'm more intrigued by the "soy boy face" phenomenon.
One of my very best friends makes a point of always making a similar expression
when he has his picture taken, but he's far from being a vegan cuck leftist whatever.
Is the soy boy face kind of like a secret handshake thing, where like-minded people can identify each other?
I'm genuinely curious, unless you guys are making all of this up.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

i use one and its a pain in the fucking ass. but I can't justify a zero turn mower for 5000 sq feet. well maybe I could but it would be a bitch getting through the fence gate.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

I think I did a thread about this a few months ago. My theory is that it's part of the need to diametrically oppose yourself from an undesirable out-group. They're not really that happy about Wii and Cookie Crisp, but the bad kind of nerd -- the one who's pro-Gamergate if not into even darker shit -- is associated with looking sullen and introverted, so they have to demonstrate that they're not that by being BURSTING WITH EXCITEMENT! if the bad nerds wear too much black, you have to wear bright colors. If the bad nerds are atheists, you ironically say "inshallah"!

I think the joke is that they're primates showing deference to alpha males, and that's all a little silly, but it is about showing that you're not a threat to people who think asocial gamer nerds are a threat.

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I bought a zero turn last year but we use it all over the place in the farm. It probably cut my mowtime in half due to speed, deck depth, power and turning.

I had one on my farm too. some Amish guy paid what I bought it for at the auction so its all good.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

That's really interesting. Yeah, none of that applies to my friend. I think he just likes showing off his gaping maw because his father was a dentist.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

50x100? Cmon soyboy.. Don't be ridiculous.

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I never understand why guys get mad when other guys don’t cut their own lawn. It’s not that expensive. I’m by no means rich, but have paid someone to cut my lawn for years. I umpire baseball games. If I work one game a week I pay for the lawn to get cut. I’m with Dan on this one, but I have used a lawnmower, just think it sucks

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"YOU GOTTA BE BLEEPING ME"

I can't relate to being a boy who wasn't told to cut the grass. Did Senor slip driveway-shoveling duty, too?

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It's not about having a lawn service, it's never having mowed the lawn ever. Every boy/man should have done this once by the time they are 20. I've mowed the lawn probably a dozen times in my life. There is value in physical labor even if all you learn is I don't want to do this. Did he have a high school job?

They all pretty much look the same in that homo collage on page 1 ... anyone know which one is IMU?

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

I dunno, was there a picture of a Seth Rogen-Screech love child in that collage?

I picture someone like Thomas Middleditch being the Patron Saint of SoyBoy.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Are these the "incels"? Is there some sort of Venn diagram?

No, incels are the bad guys, these are the good guys. Relatively. They'd date-rape a girl if they thought they could swing it.

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They look pretty celibate. They volunteer for that? Happy celibates.

Not everyone grows up with a lawn to mow. Obviously not Bernsie’s case I just found that sentence funny.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Ah, now you're discovering the incel/volcel distinction. Look at you, Extremely Online.

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It's a little metaphorical. The physical labor is beneath him. He might has well have said yeah I used a lawn mower his name was _______.

Married guys are volcels. Nobody is having sex with those guys, they are projecting or on drugs.

Thank you for providing my biggest board laugh of the year

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

"The Alt-Right". "Progressively inclined." You sir are also a pansy.

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I've always been crazy but it's kept me from going insane.

Are a lot of you suburban dads obsessed with your lawns?

My dad was definitely obsessed with his lawn. I don't think he personally cared about it, but his concern came from what his neighbors would think of him if he allowed it to grow a quarter inch beyond what was appropriate in Sauganash.

It was often a source of tension between us as he would cite a self-diagnosed heart condition as the reason why I had to go out there at 8:00 on a Sunday and mow.

One of the first songs Timmy and I wrote for Hazardous Youth was called "Grass". I remember the chorus:

Grass, Grass, my old man loves his grass
But cuttin' it gives him a heart attack
I. Like. Grass.
Does. Grass. Like. Me?
Only my lawnmower knows for sure

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

i just picture the N64 Kid all grown up. he was the first Soy Boy.

It's "soy-boy" you stupid burrito. Have you not been paying attention?

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I hated it when I lived in town. I’m lazy as crap about doing it here. Thankfully the kids are old enough to do it now.

Stop appropriating my word

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My wife and I do a lot of yard work and take pride in making our Pulte look its best. We have done all our own landscaping and maintenance, while the vast majority of neighbors use professionals to care for their yards. I get approving nods from the professionals when they work on the yard across the street.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Mowing a well-maintained lawn (especially in May and early June) is one of the small, yet wonderful, pleasures of home ownership. I've only got a third of an acre, but i can't wait for Saturday mornings and Tuesday evenings to bust out the mower and escape for a little while. My kids mow the neighbors lawn, but nobody cuts a blade of our grass but me.