He's jealous of your kids. From the conversations you've posted they seem like they run shit already.

Well, that's true.

Maybe Dan Bernstein wants me to give them a dose of reality on what their career prospects actually could be?

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You know me like that.

No son, you're never gonna play professional baseball. You're too white. However, if you work as hard as you possibly can and maximize that little white Jewish body's potential, I think you could probably play baseball for Northwestern's club team. Dare to dream Jason.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

My son has already said he is going to be Superman, Batman or own a Candy Store when he grows up. I started the ninjitsu training already and he can make a simply delightful mint meltaway.

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Seeing as how Lil Danny likes to giggle at any mention of "gay" my sincere hope is that young Jason find his calling in gay porn . At least Dad will always get a chuckle out of his progeny then.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

C'mon Rouge.... That is uncalled for. He's 8.

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Setting - Dr. Ken's kitchen
Time - Earlier today

Dr. Ken - Hello children, we need to talk about your career prospects.
Children - From you? Didn't you go to that public hillbilly school?
Dr. Ken - Which is why I invited a guest speaker. The Daniel Bernstein. Graduate of Duke University, Rockford Lightning play-by-play man and current co-host of Boers and Bernstein.
Children - The one and only!
Bernstein - Hello children. I must break your hearts. Given your bloodlines you'll never sniff the Ivy League. But, you can perhaps gain acceptance into a public Ivy: UC-Berkely or University of Texas.
Children - The horror. Is this our father's fault?
Bernstein - Yes, exclusively.
Children - Motherfucker.
Bernstein - It gets worse. Your ceiling once you enter the business world will be...this hurts to say...a departmental vice-president. You lack the connections being a member of the Tribe affords.
Children - Unbelievable. What is our next step?
Bernstein - Move.

i agree i hope jason bernstein turns out gay too. now THAT would be worth a listen.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

We didn't we as a nation stand up and say Never Again to "let's merely mention the title of an intentionally stupid movie for maximum laughs" after Snakes on a Plane?

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I'm tired of these mother fucking sharks in this mother fucking tornado.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

Beardown-as-Bernstein or actual Bernstein? I seriously can't tell at all

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t is really worse than that. Wait until he gets to the age of check hockey rather than the level he plays now. If Bernsie is true to his word it will be "sorry son that sport you have loved and tried so hard at is over". Unless his wife has his balls like I imagine then there will be a "change of heart" and he never said that.

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Elections have consequences.

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Now I know who to call. They won't know the difference.

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You know me like that.