Peeps.

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OH YEAH, i wanna get back to this point while it's on the tip of my mind. for the longest time i've been on larrycakes to BRING BACK SHAKE THAT because like, shoot dude, for better or worse there was a daily ritual whenever 6:03 rolled around and you heard [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5-baGjV5bI]the vocodered "P-P-P-P-ARTY ROCK L-M-F-A-O" --- anticipation builds up to a level higher than the sears tower even tho you know exactly what's coming cuz you've made fun of it to the point of it being a board meme.... BUT STILL, SHIT, once you hear that SHAKE THAT you tend to lose control and start dancing wherever the fuck you are.

powerful stuff. even ike's best nugular magic carpet ride can't top the raw visceral emotion of THE DROP (i.e. why dubstep is popular; the music is utter trash but if you use the overblown breakdown/buildup/drop inherent to the music, shit, humans love following instructions. give them some. i.e. ike i want some of what you're smoking: hollatchabw0y!

as i've said on here seemingly ad nauseum, you have no idea how many dirty looks i'd catch on/around the metra right there at 6:03 because my momma raised a good boy; so when the future of chicago sports talk radio commands me to SHAKE THAT, believe you me THAT is getting SHAKEN, not stirred no matter what i'm doing. hell some of my then-coworkers were !!!! and would sardonically look forward to me party rocking alongside them circa 6:03. larry and the a-team successfully installed a proper meme into me, and by the time i truly grew to love SHAKE THAT it was gone as quickly as it came.... which leads me to say WHAT THE CHRIST LAURENCE COMEON YOU BRANDED YOURSELF AS THE PARTY-ROCK OF THE SCORE AND YOU CAME OUT WITH THIS SONG HOOKING ALL OF US (LOVE AND HATE: SAME EMOTION DIFFERENT WEIGHT) TO THE POINT OF CREATING A CSFMB MEME!!! FOR FUCK'S LARRY GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!!

so yeah i'm bitter that like, larry caved in to whatever pressure he surely didn't have and decided to get rid of the intro drop that was the most recognizable aspect/symbol/epitome/metaphor-for/motief/etc of the whole Laurence W. Holmes Multimedia Experience! i mean, if he's sensitive about how he's perceived here amongst the hardcores, shit, you've gotta realize that being tied to that phrase/drop/song was an excellent bit of marketing because whether or not people loved you, hated you, or honestly didn't give a toss either way..... everyone knew SHAKE THAT. and whether or not people are willing to admit it like me, i too came to party rock and make you lose control (SHAKE THAT) and the unmitigated pure unadulterated totally un[something-high-vocab] compulsion to lose control and SHAKE THAT took over my body and caused me to celebrate the infinite majesty of life through the expressive/emotive medium of song.

i grew to love SHAKE THAT like evidently nobody else ever did. it was just so perfect and when it stuck his show around after the initial ballbusting it was like a glorious middle finger from laurence to the haters.... this is what i am this is what i do and this is how we roll in the people's show colon we do what i want.....

alas, laurence is perpetually subject to this hellbent desire to conform to the lowest common denominator of society therefore he changed it to some anonymous classic rock song intro as if to say "ok white people, here's something for you" and it killed the badass vibe that he kicked off each show with.

and i'm sure he'd argue that it was the right move to do, especially now that he's in the 9-1 seat and not likely gonna give it up itl his contract expires.... but like, still man.... i just.... i always end up in this position where i hit the brick wall of interpersonal human communication and can't properly convey the unabashed positivity that came with a proper romp in the realm of SHAKING THAT. Hell, i have that song on repeat one right now just to get the style pumping through my heart and coursing through my veins.... i mean when the song would drop into the note with the raising pitch and then hitch a couple times by saying SHAKE THAT and later MOVE THAT i'd literally be dancing around and pointing at random people in perfect time with the song.... it brought out this jovial extrovert in me that could lend credence to the theory that music is some sort of a ritual meant to alter human emotion and consequently thoughts/actions.... and hell i think thing song even inspired the meme where we call him "sir" larry because pitbull or whoever croons that he loves [you] so much he wants to be [your] "sir"

i mean shit.... comeon laurence look at this



metaphorically speaking, we the audience were Laurence's mistress and he was(/is/will-forever-be) our sir. and he threw it all away.

so yeah, crestfallen is perhaps the only term that can accurately depict the ethereal type of feelings i'm being deprived of as laurence has changed his intro into some goofy a-team ritual that basically only exists to remind us/his-underlings that he is the best-schooled out of all of them.... yeah man, enough with the ego laurence. give us not just what we want, but truly what we need. GIVE US SHAKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!1

my bad on the tl;dr paragraphs that feature me talking in circles and repeating myself over and over and over again with minimal variation, although in talking about dance music you can argue if there's one subject matter in life where doing the verbose broken record style is apropos, it is indeed here.

so yeah, getting back to my original point.... radio is a really habitual medium....moreso than television of even the cafeteria style of selecting your own internet-propagated media, you tend to find some underlying sense of comfort in the day-to-day commonality of hearing familiar music/drops/bumpers/commercials/etc.... you know, radio is all about the repeat customer.... the regular listener.... or hell even the regular reader if it's saints related bollocks.... and part of that is borne in the euphony of finding something you like that's compartmentalized/tied-to-something-compartmentalized in such a way that it's a daily repetitive habit. you know, when 5:58 would roll around with the final few commercials leading up to the top of the hour update you're purposely gonna listen to it just so you can get your public dance on, cuz man laurence.... real talk homey if you read this or any of my lenghty constructive criticisms of you and your hosting steez... i have a hard time taking the center of attention when it comes to communicating with attractive members of the opposite gender. seriously i often get crippled wit self-doubt because having low-self-esteem = why am i seeking attention in such a boisterous way?

well SHAKE THAT broke down that barrier and has gotten me a couple'a phone #s in its heyday. the p-p-p-p-p-party rock did the lord's work in ritualistically grabbing my soul and breaking me out of the day-to-day banal doldrums to the point where i proudly demanded the attention of everyone around me because dammit barry gordy's son/nephew/whatever wouldn't lie to me when he says i'm a shooting star! i'm special, and with his music overriding my cold and lonely intellectualism, i turn into a simple visceral straightforward genius who allows a piece of music to program him into a party rock machine built for pleasuring the wimmenfolk. yes sirs and madames... SHAKE THAT did the trick for me. for that fleeting period of time it was an indelible part of my life, as hearing that drop will forever be equated with impromptu dance parties on the metra that ended up benefiting me in terms of random wanton sexual debauchery; again, YOU DID THE LORD'S WORK, LAURENCE.

so in the spirit of that, i humbly reiterate that hearing the NFL Films background music every day w/the 2nd half provided a certain level of comfort borne from the expectations of being fed something that i was used to hearing every weekday at a certain time (you know, what the medium of radio is all about.... unless you're howard stern cuz he's so goddamn busy with his show and AGT that we're blessed to get 3 days a week when we maybe deserve two, if even that. teh show has evolved.

ahem. yeah i got nothing.... i'm done. and i'm gonna bump SHAKE THAT one more time to indelibly remind me of a time and place in my life that i'm going to forever look back upon with rosy colored glasses. a special time and place in my life that i'll never get back because someone is TOO SELFISH AND PIGHEADED TO GIVE US AN OLDSCHOOL ONE NIGHT ONLY RETURN OF SHAKE THAT. yeah. it hurts... it sucks.... and even if tanny/a-team plays the vengaboys or something equally kitsch and fun-bad, well, it'll never be quite the same as that period of time where i worked downtown and rode the metra back pumped up and SHAKEN and ready to hear about the 4 hours of show that LoHo had to cram into ~22 minutes of time b4 white sox baseball pregame on WSOX.

this is the end. really. sorry to everyone who is annoyed by my tl;dr stuff, but goddammit when i have an emotional reaction to something that has possibly provided the world with a secret lovechild due to the aforementioned random wanton sexual debauchery that came from allowing the LMFAO ritual to override my mind and put me in a visceral mindset that relied heavily on our animal instincts to propagate the species*.

that's right kids, there very well might be a SON OF SHAKE THAT out there somewhere whose life has been prophesized to be that of the antichrist. or jesus. or maybe just a fallen angel or seraphim or something. and s/he only exists because that song popped up and got le loosey goosey and ready to mack teh wimmenfolk, so again, thank you laurence but fuck you because WAAAHHHHH I NEED MY SHAKE THAT ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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oh and this was originally at the end of the last post, which made each line as long as the following quote. TL;DR = don't fall asleep at the keyboard whilst you're posting on the CSFMB, kids.



* =also, ins9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999, aka what happens when you fall asleep at the keyboard in the middle of making your post a super parody of the caricature/niche you've carved out for yourself on the CSFMB.

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oh and since i absolutely shit all over this thread which is 95% likely to result in my blathering being the end of any and all human interpersonal discourse in this thread (ergo my rep as "</threadkilla>" remains intact) i wanna get on the record with my avatar

recently on the board here someone linked to a segment that was posted on the wgn website that had a textual summary after an audio clip of an interview, and at the bottom of the page WGN/trib/whoever had one of those generic fields with a bunch of headshots of the various hosts with a topic of another clip under them.... so looking under the content and seeing the links out, example: there's one that shows wrigley and says "The Cicero Cubs...?" -- well in the lowest right corner of the field was the link that is now my avatar... a picture of the smarmy shaved-headed alien motherfucker captioned by the very phrase you see to the immediate left of my post in the avatar. that is not in any way doctored or altered.... the media moguls @ wgn/wgn.fm/etc came up with that clip as evidently being some "quintessential kapman" on the subject of.... velvet deer antlers? yikes.

just shaddap and get me through the weekend with an arsenal victory alongside a bears victory. southampton is a young team creepin on the comeup and now after united's solid 1-0 victory (thanks to RvP being RvP and knocking in a header from a seemingly-impossible angle that kieran gibbs completely fucking whiffed on DESPITE BEING PERFECTLY PLACED TO DEFEND IT, indeed, in that split second he couldnt fathom RvP heading it in from that angle, at the very least cuz ramsey was supposed to be there but h trailed off and gave RvP room and if there's anything that midtable >moyes can do during his >6 (six) year stint it's definitely parking the bus to make sure you get the one point. in this case it came in the 2nd half cuz RvP's goal in the late first half was all they needed to get 3pts... cue the "ozil is overrated" crowd and "januzaj will be better than ozil" club with the "fellaini will be the best money spent at hte x-fer deadline" secret society there. you know, the ones who understand how to make order out of chaos, aka the kind of stuff happening in united's war room when they balk @ the 23.5mil buyout clause on fellaini's contract, make very public overtures for cesc, thiago alcantara, herrera from bilbao (PROTIP: pay their buyout clause. ask barca or buyern whoever tried to toil with their cementlike figures on the buyout clauses) or my personal favorite, having someone give up #7 as a symbolic gesture to CR7 to come back home and take his rightful kit # back. that was the best.

meanwhile during all of that duplicity, fellaini's buyout came and went and when united realized they were gonna whiff on everyone and look like lilbro arsenal to their fans, they went out and paid 27.5mil for fellaini.... i mean seriously, nobody met his 23.5mil buyout clause because they balked @ the figure, but united made all of these formal media-driven overtures to top players on legitimate CL contending teams (well and bilbao) for stud players as if to assuage the fans, especially in the wake of rppmey; (sic. it's a meme) potentially leaving.... so instead for better or worse >moyes throws all of his eggs in rppmey;'s basket (by making him the #10 for the near/future and turning down options like, say, getting ozil) and tries to save face by bringing in fellaini, who is essentially a 30mil mascot with the big stupid hair looking lost out there cuz this ain't everton where you can park the bus for a point and throw fellaini up front in the hopes of getting him in a post-up situation via hoofball. nope.

you basically turned a 23.5mil player into a 27.5mil player and then went on about how you dont need mesut ozil or anyone cuz hey shit who needs paul pogba when you can get scholesy out of retirement for a GREAT year. yep.

wow where did this soccer rant come from? this is proof that nothing good can come from drinking and ike-ing it up on the CSFMB at 2am on a friday morning so i'm gonna head out now having explained the etymology of my avatar and pointing out that, for the record, the old avatar was a screengrab from i believe the fenerbache CL playoffs where they zoomed in on a pensively thinking arsene and my screengrab caught said pensive pose as the CL graphic was materializing on the screen to wash out the image and head back to the action. ergo you saw the ghostly apparition of the CL star-ball with the !!!! around it lightly superimposed over arsene's face.

yep. now you've got the kap man linked up with velvet deer antlers because the marketing majors @ WGN think that's a button you'll want to click. whether it's the dadaist joy of velvet deer antlers or the consummate quality you've come to expect via the smarmy mug of david "my wife likes my mirror universe goatee; thanks for watching/listening" kaplan.

and i'm done posting for hte night. round of applause everyone? p.s. if you ever come across someone who has the clap, aka chlamydia, have a bit of tact/class/style and call it a warm round of applause.

enjoy the STD that was a sini post.... and thank you all for your time and attention. i wanan thank my dad, my mom, my grandpa.... the lilbro i affectionally call "the hunny bunny" aka "friar fuck" aka "BEEF" (cuz one morning i woke up and realized i was sorely lacking a friend with the nickname of "BEEF" and howard stern cornered the market on 100% arab oil sheik prostitute aka BEEF OSTROSKY. who btw <3s animoes look we've got childhood pictures of baby BEFF crushing the wee widdle kittles

and wtf am i doing... shaddap jimbo

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I actually thought about calling into that one with the time I lined up against Kellen Winslow in a flag football league at James Park.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don