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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:06 pm 
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spmack wrote:
For once, I agree Beardown. I can't see riots happening on Addison and Western. What the fuck are they gonna do, loot Lane Tech?


run into a number of people that live in that vicinty...i would say at least 50% not even aware...and the other 49.9% have no concerns...''

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:09 pm 
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Source: Bernstein and the wife are still safe in their home. I'm told Dan is extremely vigilent with his gun drawn and looking out the window. I'm told he's drinking wine to calm his nerves. There is a loud voice in the room. It's his wife telling him he's insane for being scared. His kids are still safe in the burbs with the grandparents.

More later on this breaking story through out the night. But the Bernstein's are safe. Thank God. I know all of you are just as concerned as I am.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:17 pm 
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Beardown wrote:
Source: Bernstein and the wife are still safe in their home. I'm told Dan is extremely vigilent with his gun drawn and looking out the window. I'm told he's drinking wine to calm his nerves. There is a loud voice in the room. It's his wife telling him he's insane for being scared. His kids are still safe in the burbs with the grandparents.

More later on this breaking story through out the night. But the Bernstein's are safe. Thank God. I know all of you are just as concerned as I am.


Take it easy Champ, why don't you stop posting for a while?

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:18 pm 
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As I have stated many times, it was my intolerance for even minute risks that made my wife fall in love with me. In tonight's Dresdenesque atmosphere I might get anal.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:22 pm 
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Don Tiny wrote:
Beardown wrote:
Source: Bernstein and the wife are still safe in their home. I'm told Dan is extremely vigilent with his gun drawn and looking out the window. I'm told he's drinking wine to calm his nerves. There is a loud voice in the room. It's his wife telling him he's insane for being scared. His kids are still safe in the burbs with the grandparents.

More later on this breaking story through out the night. But the Bernstein's are safe. Thank God. I know all of you are just as concerned as I am.


Take it easy Champ, why don't you stop posting for a while?


It's people like you that privileged, rich white people hate for not taking this seriously.

DAN BERNSTEIN AND HIS FAMILY HAVE THEIR LIVES IN JEPORDY TONIGHT. Show some concern, bitch!!!!! After all, like Dan said, he lives in Chicago, knows the tension and knows the terror unlike people that don't live in the city.


Last edited by Beardown on Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:23 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
good dolphin wrote:
a Catholic school or even a Jesuit school.


:lol:


:lol: :lol:

I wasn't sure if that was intended or not.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:23 pm 
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See, the funny posts make the unfunny posts hurt that much more in today's thread.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:24 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
See, the funny posts make the unfunny posts hurt that much more in today's thread.


Thanks.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:37 pm 
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Breaking News!!!!!

Dan heard a noise in his yard and saw movement. Shots fired!!!! Shots fired!!!!!

False alarm, though. He killed the neighbors dog. But in these tense times you shoot first and ask questions later. Anyway, his white neighbor plans to sue him for the death of "Wrigley". Dan knows he'll lose. Really smart lawyer have told him so. Small price to pay to pay in the name of protecting your family.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:01 pm 
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Wife: There's a black guy at the street getting out of the car.

Bernstein: (Goes to door) Who are you?

Goff: It's me, Jason Goff!!!! I was in your hood at a bar, just coming by to say hello.

Bernstein: (Shoots him anyway, he's a bad shot, so just clipped the leg)

Goff: Motha fucka!!!! (Hops in car and races away.)

Wife: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Bernstein: In these tense times we take no chances. All blacks are enemies. Known or unknown. (Aplies eye black to his face)

Jason Bernstein: You are one crazy cracker, Dad.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:04 pm 
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Beardown wrote:
Wife: There's a black guy at the street getting out of the car.

Bernstein: (Goes to door) Who are you?

Goff: It's me, Jason Goff!!!! I was in your hood at a bar, just coming by to say hello.

Bernstein: (Shoots him anyway, he's a bad shot, so just clipped the leg)

Goff: Motha fucka!!!! (Hops in car and races away.)

Wife: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Bernstein: In these tense times we take no chances. All blacks are enemies. Known or unknown. (Aplies eye black to his face)

Jason Bernstein: You are one crazy cracker, Dad.

Are you sure Goff wouldn't be laughing in between every other word?


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:05 pm 
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WeeKnee wrote:
Beardown wrote:
Wife: There's a black guy at the street getting out of the car.

Bernstein: (Goes to door) Who are you?

Goff: It's me, Jason Goff!!!! I was in your hood at a bar, just coming by to say hello.

Bernstein: (Shoots him anyway, he's a bad shot, so just clipped the leg)

Goff: Motha fucka!!!! (Hops in car and races away.)

Wife: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Bernstein: In these tense times we take no chances. All blacks are enemies. Known or unknown. (Aplies eye black to his face)

Jason Bernstein: You are one crazy cracker, Dad.

Are you sure Goff wouldn't be laughing in between every other word?


Good point. I'll correct it.

Bernstein: (Shoots Goff)

Goff: :lol:

Wife: You just shot him. Why is he laughing? Who the fuck laughs after being shot?

Bernstein: I have no idea. He's just a crazed laughing fool. He'll laugh about anything. This proves it.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:12 pm 
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DannyB wrote:
As I have stated many times, it was my intolerance for even minute risks that made my wife fall in love with me. In tonight's Dresdenesque atmosphere I might get anal.


I hope you enjoy it!

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 11:46 pm 
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Source: At this hour, Bernstein feels safe. I'm told he's going to retire to bed. The wife has a bed set up in the tub just in case. Dan's orders. She has no say. Kids are still safe in the burbs.

More on this story in the morning. But the Bernstein's are still alive as we speak. Another dangerous day tomorrow. We'll keep you updated.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 12:19 am 
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I'm just glad the Bears notified Bernstein of the threat this time.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 7:46 am 
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But the real question.....

Did Julie make it to the train ok?

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 7:53 am 
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Gloopan Kuratz wrote:
But the real question.....

Did Julie make it to the train ok?

Seems like she did .
NotJulieDiCaro (@MissAndry2015) tweeted at 1:38 PM on Tue, Nov 24, 2015:
I totally just crop dusted the vestibule on Metra as I exited. #mighthavebeenawetone #chiliforlunch #wetwipes #sparepanties

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 8:52 am 
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Drinky would be well advised to position himself more as Karl Pilkington on this show. Karl has made a ton of money playing his character. Of course, there is almost no production on this show so there is little chance they would know how to use a character like that appropriately.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 8:55 am 
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good dolphin wrote:
Drinky would be well advised to position himself more as Karl Pilkington on this show. Karl has made a ton of money playing his character. Of course, there is almost no production on this show so there is little chance they would know how to use a character like that appropriately.

If he said he'd eat a knob at night, I'd pop.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 9:21 am 
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I must say I'm shocked at how funny and accurate this thread is.....even Bare Down is killing it.

With the exception of the professional protesters that are likely to slither in with the MSNBC groupies I think most sane people are on the same page on this event and can express outrage but move on in their life with out burning down a Walgreens or stealing a waffle maker.
The cop is a guilty murderer who will likely die in prison.
Is there any big debate about that?


No reason.
Image
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 9:25 am 
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good dolphin wrote:
Drinky would be well advised to position himself more as Karl Pilkington on this show. Karl has made a ton of money playing his character. Of course, there is almost no production on this show so there is little chance they would know how to use a character like that appropriately.

The latter is true due to an apparent lack of understanding between sophistication and sophistry.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 9:56 am 
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Terry's Peeps wrote:
good dolphin wrote:
Drinky would be well advised to position himself more as Karl Pilkington on this show. Karl has made a ton of money playing his character. Of course, there is almost no production on this show so there is little chance they would know how to use a character like that appropriately.

If he said he'd eat a knob at night, I'd pop.


Or discussed old people and their Twix habits. Karl had the luxury of working with two talented people, though.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 2:31 pm 
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Is it true the character of Chas Tennenbaum was based on Dan Bernstein?

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 2:40 pm 
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Drawing parallels like these between neurotic sons of lawyers in high-achieving families would be more fun if I didn't think Wes Anderson films were in the "Things Bernstein Has Never Heard Of" thread. I... (sigh) it's that I have no use for...anything with old Bill Murray. I barely have any use for young Bill Murray. I just know Lin Brehmer likes the soundtrack.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 2:46 pm 
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good dolphin wrote:
Is it true the character of Chas Tennenbaum was based on Dan Bernstein?


Inasmuch as Hal Incandenza was based on Matt Spiegel.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 2:51 pm 
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Zizou wrote:
good dolphin wrote:
Is it true the character of Chas Tennenbaum was based on Dan Bernstein?


Inasmuch as Hal Incandenza was based on Matt Spiegel.


Except Hal only ate toxic mold one time.

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