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Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
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Author:  Beardown [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:45 am ]
Post subject:  Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
:lol:

I'll paraphrase what Mac just said.

Mac: So I take Bernstein to a strip club in the late 90s and it turned into a god damn sociological experiment for him. He sits there taking notes, observing everybody with an intense look, asking me "what type of people would tuck a buck into a women's ass".
Author:  NearWessSideHussra [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Why does Bernstein hate single-mothers trying to raise their daughters to stay off the pole.
Author:  Beardown [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
For the record, I wouldn't put a dollar in a stripper's ass either. Mac is exaggerating that part. Strippers don't want dollars in their ass. It's either upper thigh or they'll grab it with their breasts.

On a side not, Mac also said he took Mike Greenberg to a strip club. Said Greeny had the time of his life.
Author:  good dolphin [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
He should have replied "heterosexual men unfettered by damaging levels of self awareness."
Author:  good dolphin [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Beardown wrote:
Strippers don't want dollars in their ass. .


No, they don't! :(
Author:  rogers park bryan [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Beardown wrote:
For the record, I wouldn't put a dollar in a stripper's ass either. Mac is exaggerating that part. Strippers don't want dollars in their ass. It's either upper thigh or they'll grab it with their breasts.

On a side not, Mac also said he took Mike Greenberg to a strip club. Said Greeny had the time of his life.

He told that one on MJH years ago in the context of Greenberg's metrosexual character on Mike and Mike being an act.

Anyway, they apparently washed the strippers with soap at this place? Sounds pretty weird. Call me old fashioned, but Ill just take a plain ol lapdance
Author:  Beardown [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Wonder if Bernstein actually got a lap dance. Doubt it. But if he did, it probably went like this.

Bernstein: So how does this work?

Stripper: You sit. I grind.

Bernstein: With your ass?

Stripper: Yeah.

Bernstein: :shock: No way it could be clean. The likelihood of your ass being clean right now is not very high. The probability of me getting a deseise from your dirty ass is very high. Risk to reward. I've reconsidered. I no longer want a lap dance.

Stripper: You still owe me $20.

Bernstein: Talk to my lawyer.

Stripper: Slaps Bernstein in the face

Bouncer: Throws Bernstein out.

Mac: Fuck. Time to go, I guess. Fuckin' Bernstein. Sucks the fun out of everything.
Author:  good dolphin [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Dan B: What socioeconomic forces have lead you to this profession.

Stripper: I simply wish to fully monetize my assets.
Author:  rogers park bryan [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Perhaps BeerStain prefers BIG. BOY. STRIPCLUBS.
Author:  Beardown [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Mac: (Returns from his lap dance) Here you go honey, little something extra for you. That was great.

Bernstein: You're tipping her? For doing her job. It's a set rate. Why would you tip? As for you, Destiny, how does riding Da Ma Na get you closer to any sort of life achievement?

Destiny: What? :evil:

Mac: Hey, Destiny, he's all right. Sometimes he just says odd shit.

Destiny: (Picks up Dan's drink and throws it in his face.)

Mac: Atta girl, here's another $20.
Author:  Beardown [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Bernstein: Look at that girl, Mac. Climbing the pole upside down. That's risky for management to have them do that.

Mac: What?

Bernstein: I'm just saying it's a huge liability if they fall or if the pole breaks. Wonder if they have the girls sign a waiver? Not to mention the filth factor. A lot of different asses ride that pole.

Mac: I don't know, Dan. I don't know. Waitress!!!!! Another red wine for this son of a bitch. Like last time, pour it here. He wants to clean the glass himself with his sanitizer wipes. :roll: Once again, sorry about that. Double vodka for me this time, please.
Author:  NearWessSideHussra [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
drop 150 mg of molly intp Bernstein's red wine and watch the blinders fall off.
Author:  Beardown [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Q.Bovifs wrote:
Please pop this link in an edited first post when you get the chance, BD.


I don't know what you mean.
Author:  good dolphin [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Beardown wrote:
Bernstein: Look at that girl, Mac. Climbing the pole upside down. That's risky for management to have them do that.

Mac: What?

Bernstein: I'm just saying it's a huge liability if they fall or if the pole breaks. Wonder if they have the girls sign a waiver? Not to mention the filth factor. A lot of different asses ride that pole.

Mac: I don't know, Dan. I don't know. Waitress!!!!! Another red wine for this son of a bitch. Like last time, pour it here. He wants to clean the glass himself with his sanitizer wipes. :roll: Once again, sorry about that. Double vodka for me this time, please.


puts a doily down on his seat before sitting like Felix Ungar
Author:  Beardown [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 1:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Mac: Alright, Dan, you've had 4 red wines. You loosened up now? See that black girl over there. Heard she gives the best dances. I'll pay.

Bernstein: I'm not dancing with her. She looks like a thug!!!!

Mac: This is 1998. A decade from now they'll view that word as racially charged. As the substitute for the N-word.

Bernstein: (Slurring words) When that happens I'll just say I don't want to dance with that N****R

Mac: :shock:

Berntein: Please don't tell anybody I said that, Mac.

Mac: Secret is safe with me, Danny boy. Waitress, another red wine please. I'm rather enjoying seeing the true Bernstein come out. So Danny, what do you think of that Mexican dancer?
Author:  NearWessSideHussra [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 2:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Beardown wrote:
Mac: Alright, Dan, you've had 4 red wines. You loosened up now? See that black girl over there. Heard she gives the best dances. I'll pay.

Bernstein: I'm not dancing with her. She looks like an aspiring rapper!!!!
Author:  bigfan [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Actually not a fan of the strip club in general. I dont hate it, but especially when a place is packed, it just gets weird when you are sitting inches from some stranger and he is watching you get rubbed on by some stripper.

Now, if you dont have anywhere to watch the NCAA games in vegas and you find an empty strip joint in vegas during the day that will show the games and then other things can happen, is a great way to spend a day in Vegas!
Author:  Beardown [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 10:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Bernstein just finishes his 10th glass of red wine...

Bernstein: ...so that's why I think Christians should be eliminated from the earth. We need a Jewish Hitler.

Mac: :shock: Alright, Bernstein. Think it's time to go.

Bernstein: Wait, I'll take you up on dancing with that N****R girl.

Mac: No. We're leaving, Danny Boy.

Bernstein: Ok. Promise you won't repeat all the things I said tonight?

Mac: :lol:
Author:  Darkside [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 10:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
I'd rather go to a strip club with my mother than with Bernstein.
Author:  Zizou [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Bernstein and sex.

Makes me think of that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where they talk about Hasidics having sex through holes in sheets.
Author:  Darkside [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Zizou wrote:
Bernstein and sex.

Makes me think of that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where they talk about Hasidics having sex through holes in sheets.

I can't imagine sex with Bernstein being much fun either.
Author:  IkeSouth [ Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
bigfan wrote:
Actually not a fan of the strip club in general. I dont hate it, but especially when a place is packed, it just gets weird when you are sitting inches from some stranger and he is watching you get rubbed on by some stripper.

Now, if you dont have anywhere to watch the NCAA games in vegas and you find an empty strip joint in vegas during the day that will show the games and then other things can happen, is a great way to spend a day in Vegas!


i agree completely. only been to a few strip clubs in my life, so my experience is little, but the best one was out in the middle of nowhere around 1am when almost nobody was there. we were at a concert that day and saw it on the way back. "fuck it" we said! "lets go!". there were like 10 girls but only maybe 3 were hot. well the one that sat in my lap all night wasnt i guess... i dont know i thought she was but my buddy said the next day she was average. i just kept buying her drinks. we told them we were from one of the bands at the concert. we almost got two girls to go back to our campsite, but it got weird when we told them where to go. not exactly inviting when two strangers ask strippers to go into the woods to fuck i guess, i dont know. i was totally trashed, all i remember was blowing $180 in about an hour and telling my girl "im broke". she was sad and didnt leave my lap but it wasnt like there was anyone else there anyway. we finally close the place down and ended up at the campsite without any women. then this teenage kid came over to our fire and asked for a beer. we told him all he had to do was give us weed. to our surprise, he said "um, ok" and left. 5 minutes later he put bud in our hands! he said he stole it from his parents and hes never done the stuff before. we all got stoned and passed out. pretty lame ending but when me and my buddy tell the story we just end it with fuckin the shit out of the girls all night long.
Author:  SteveSarley [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
I wasn't really paying attention yesterday, but Dan was recalling a time in Florida at a Super Bowl where he and Terry went to a strip club. He mentioned that John Jackson, the Sun Times writer was there.
That is a definite major, flagrant man card rules violation. I hope nobody asked Mrs. John Jackson about it.
Author:  spanky [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
bigfan wrote:
Actually not a fan of the strip club in general. I dont hate it, but especially when a place is packed, it just gets weird when you are sitting inches from some stranger and he is watching you get rubbed on by some stripper.

I'm with you. I get it, but I don't really get it.

Best times I ever had at a strip club is when I went with female(s). I don't get dropping a ton of $$ to hang out with a bunch of dudes and watch other people get their hopes up about a girl that already has a girlfriend.
Author:  Hatchetman [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Never been. I've been with my wife since I was 19. I used to frequent some places in KC where the strippers would come for lunch. I always felt sorry for them. I dunno, maybe they didn't want to be felt sorry for!
Author:  good dolphin [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
They can be fun in some situations. Drunk and coming off a good night at a casino is appropriate because its like you are playing with house money. Bachelor parties are better with talent that travels to you rather than the opposite.

I would probably feel differently if I were single. Why not under those conditions?
Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 3:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
They are just too expensive to go that often. With the right group of people it can be fun once in a while.
Author:  good dolphin [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 3:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
Hank Scorpio wrote:
They are just too expensive to go that often. With the right group of people it can be fun once in a while.


right, and everyone has to be in the same "big night" mind set...one person pissing in the punch bowl can ruin it

I also hate going after a guy's night out type of meal, for obvious reasons
Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 5:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
good dolphin wrote:
I also hate going after a guy's night out type of meal, for obvious reasons


Blumkin too expensive?
Author:  spanky [ Fri Jan 24, 2014 5:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Mac: Bernstein took all the fun out of a strip club
good dolphin wrote:
I also hate going after a guy's night out type of meal, for obvious reasons

Your palette is already set to "sausage"?
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