The NHL Experience:
1) Buy a $120 jersey with a player's name that will likely be gone in a few years.
2) Park in the $32 parking lot because you get scared of the number of homeless people in the area.
3) Walk in with your date, who has never been to a hockey game but you are sure she is going to enjoy it because, well, because its hockey.
4) Walk around the first floor to HawkQuarters and walk in. Date says "Wow, the Bulls play here too? Do they have anything from Michael Jordan?" Buy her one of those giant foam hats and hope she doesnt see a picture of Patrick Sharpe.
5) Go up to your seat and when the Anthem starts, describe to your date that yes, they are all screaming and clapping for the Anthem, and no, they have no clue why they actually do it.
6) When the game starts, have your date get up before the whistle and get screamed at so that she learns to never do it again.
7) When there is a few minutes left in the game, explain to your date why the goalie may leave the net, and its not because he doesnt want to play anymore.

Tell your date that you are sorry she didnt have any fun at the game and go home.
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Don Tiny wrote:
... except the night I dropped my pants and then loudly proclaimed I was the Whore of Babylon and demanded more wine, but that's another story.