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Dan McNeil's NWITimes.com "Fathers Day" article
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Author:  Beef Rockmore [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 4:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Dan McNeil's NWITimes.com "Fathers Day" article
Since I've heard a few callers/emailers mention it today, here's Dan's article about his son Patrick which appeared in Sunday's NWI Times. You can also post any comments after the article:

http://nwi.com/articles/2008/06/15/spor ... 6e2a02.txt?

A son's disability provides a daily gift for Dad

BY DAN McNEIL
For The Times | Sunday, June 15, 2008 | 1 comment(s)

Image
Because I have asked to be forgiven, I will admit something publicly. For several years, I was mad at God.

In the fall of 1996, my son Patrick, then 3 years old, was diagnosed with autism, a neurological disorder that has become an epidemic in this country.

Patrick's early years were difficult. He didn't speak. He wasn't socially active. He tantrumed a lot and regularly was incorrigible. He didn't sleep well, and as a result, his brothers, Van and Jack, and his mom and dad endured many long nights.

Why him? I wondered angrily. Why us? How ignorant and selfish I was. The greatest gift I was ever given stared me in the face every day, but I was too full of worldly ideals to recognize it.

It's true what they say about how fast the time evaporates when raising children. Van is a year away from heading off to IU. He'll humor me by tagging along to Canada for our annual walleye hunt next month, but he needs the old man most -- like most 17-year-olds -- when the gas tank is low.

Jack, my youngest, shares my penchant for 1970s rock and roll, a grilled strip steak and "Borat," but he's 13. He would be uncool if his idea of a good time was hanging out with a relic like me.

Patrick is decidedly atypical. My middle son demands his time with me. He has playmates, and his brothers are thoughtful, patient, caring sibs, but he doesn't have "regular friends." Wednesday night, for example, following a swim and ample serving of chocolate ice cream, he nestled up to me on the couch, grabbed my hand and requested "Dad to tickle my neck." Gladly. All night.

Patrick isn't impressed with Dad because Dad hosts a popular Chicago radio show. This gives me much-needed perspective.

Patrick does not covet material possessions. He is selfless and unassuming.

Patrick has little vanity. If somebody giggles because he walks out of the bathroom naked or picks his nose, he doesn't care.

After more than a decade of intensive behavioral treatment, spearheaded by his tirelessly devoted mother, Jill, Patrick's life is joyful. He enjoys riding his bike, playing Xbox, listening to music and playing the piano, riding roller coasters. Despite the limitations of autism, my blue-eyed, fair-complected, husky, little man is exceedingly happy.

And isn't that all every parent wants for their child? I don't know if I've seen Patrick more radiant than he was last Monday at Stonewall Orchard Country Club in Grayslake. It wasn't because my radio show hosted an outing that raised almost $50,000 for INFEAT (Indiana Families for Effective Autism Treatment, INFEAT.org). It wasn't because the Bulls' Ben Gordon and legendary hockey announcer Pat Foley were among the celebrity captains.

For the first time in his musical career, Patrick had a big audience to hear him croon "The Star Spangled Banner." He approached me with purpose in his walk as I was set to introduce him to more than 200 participants and volunteers. He ripped the microphone from me and softly, sweetly sang the Anthem.

Former White Sox slugger Ron Kittle said later, "that started the heart." Patrick always has that effect on me. All of my sons give me great joy and make me proud to be their dad. But for Patrick, in many ways undaunted by the oft-imprisoning chains of autism, I'm always going to be Daddy, always going to be the go-to guy when it's time to play underwater chase or time for "tickle my neck."

I don't need a new tie today. No golf balls or after shave. Father's Day comes 365 days a year.
Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 4:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
I had just read it also. It is an inspiring message and well-told.

Nicely done.
Author:  Beef Rockmore [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 4:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh, and here's the link to http://www.Infeat.org, which I also think contains a story about Patrick, and information to make donations.
Author:  Elmhurst Steve [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 4:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the posting Rock. That was outstanding.
Author:  RFDC [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 6:53 pm ]
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Thanks for posting this. What a wonderful article. May God bless Dan, Patrick and all of their family! Articles like that give all of us much needed perspective in this crazy world.
Author:  doug - evergreen park [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:08 pm ]
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very well written Mac.
i'll be forwarding this on to the fam.
8)
Author:  FavreFan [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
I had just read it also. It is an inspiring message and well-told.

Nicely done.


+1. Really interesting article. I know he doesnt like to do it, but its interesting when Mac shares such personal information through either radio or newspaper, he's always been very good at sharing a story.
Author:  Mr. Reason [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very touching, Mac. It is amazing how time and perspective can change chicken shit into chicken salad, isn't it?. I felt your joy when you described him signing the National Anthem.
Patrick is lucky to have you and you are lucky to have him. He seems to be a calming influence that you can use to extend your life.
Well done, my good man.
Author:  Eaglo Jeff [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
It was a pleasure to read that article Mac. Finding happiness no matter what the situation is always important. The quote I have listed at the bottom never rang more true. I'll put a link to INFEAT in the MJH fan myspace page too. I meant to do that awhile ago. :)
Author:  Frank Coztansa [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:50 pm ]
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Big props to Patrick. It take a lot to get up and perform like that in front so many of people; regardless of your profession, talent level, or state of mind. And especially the "Star Spangled Banner," a tune which even some of the most accomplished singers struggle with, let alone a teenager. Here's to many more moments with your son, Mac- like the one at your recent golf outing. 8)
Author:  Redneckmommy [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:59 pm ]
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Frank Coztansa wrote:
Big props to Patrick. It take a lot to get up and perform like that in front so many of people; regardless of your profession, talent, or state of mind. And especially the "Star Spangled Banner," a tune which even some of the most accomplished singers struggle with, let alone a teenager. Here's to many more moments with your son like the one at your recent golf outing. 8)




Ditto
Author:  Saturated Fats [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 9:21 pm ]
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Great article Mac. Forwarded it to my father this afternoon and he was really touched. My brother is autistic and my dad appreciated the article. It also puts in perspective things that really matter and things that don't, such as a "fued" with the media scribe for a certain newspaper and the hot dog vendor.

Kudos.
Author:  35thStreet Slick [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:16 pm ]
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Mr. Reason wrote:
I felt your joy when you described him signing the National Anthem.


I'll bet Mac was joyful when his son sang the National Anthem too Mr. Reason. ;)

Great article Mac. I can't believe you invoked the 70s word 'husky' though. ;)
Author:  Brick [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:35 pm ]
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A very nice article. I hope that I am able to be as strong of a parent and handle whatever situation I am put in like you are doing if I have to.
Author:  Beardown [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
The picture says it all. You see nothing but pride in Mac's eyes as his son sang.

It was a heart-warming article as well Mac. Jiggs would like to say a few words.

Jiggs - Dan good man. Hmmmmm. Despite him being pissed that the Score forced me on him. Hmmmmm.
Author:  Colonel Angus [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:14 pm ]
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Good article, Mac. And good work raising your son. I can't imagine how hard times can get, but you and your son's mom stuck through it, where others would have given up or half-assed it. :salut:
Author:  My Coach Vinny [ Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:43 pm ]
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Talk about look alikes. Patrick is going to be taller when he grows up.
Author:  STU-GOTZ [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:22 am ]
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My Coach Vinny wrote:
Talk about look alikes. Patrick is going to be taller when he grows up.


And a better radio host. :wink:

Nice job buddy. Nothing stronger than family.
Author:  SteveSarley [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
That was a tremendous article, Dan.
You are one hell of a writer and obviously a hell of a Dad.
Good luck on the Canada trip - eat a bunch of those walleyes!
Take care
Steve Sarley
Author:  Coast2Coast [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Great column, Mac. I'm happy for both of you. I'm happy for Patrick that he has a dad like you. And I'm happy that you are no longer angry at God and that you are giving Patrick what he needs. I'm sure you know that not all autistic kids are nearly as happy as Patrick. The fact he is so happy says a lot about you, his mother and your wife. I met Patrick's mother at the golf tournament. She obviously also is a very devoted parent. It does take two to raise happy kids, especially when divorces make it more challenging. Your graceful recognition of your ex-wife in your column also speaks to what kind of person you are.

I was standing just a few yards in front of Mac and Patrick when Patrick sang the Anthem. I'm not sure who was more proud of how he sang -- Patrick or his dad.
Author:  Chilli Palmer [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 3:14 pm ]
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Excellent article Mac. I am very impressed with your selfless and uplifting message. Keep up the good work. I wll forward this on to as many people as possible.
Author:  Darren - Tinley Park [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:56 pm ]
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Thanks for writing that article Mac. Although my son is not autistic, he does have some developmental delays and some social issues. You are setting a great example as a father that I hope to at least partially emmulate.
Author:  Baby McNown [ Tue Jun 17, 2008 6:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Great article Mac. Very touching read.
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