Not to be a dick, but what the hell:

Light years are a measure of distance, not time.

Good article. Nice Blade Job. Coulda used a famous quote or something from when Hester was dominant to illustrate the fall but it was good.

Can someone post the article plz?

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Birthday lacks happy returns
Hester has the big bucks, but no results
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November 6, 2008
BY DAN MCNEIL
Devin Hester celebrated his 26th birthday Tuesday. Resources easily were accessible for a most festive South Beach-style blowout three months after the Bears rewarded him with a guaranteed $15 million in a four-year extension.

When they asked Hester to blow out the candles, I wonder if he turned and ran backward. Here's hoping there were no expensive, breakable packages that eluded his grasp and met their demise on the floor.

» An ample supply of burning questions surround the enigmatic Bears. None is more puzzling than Hester, whose lack of productivity has many wondering if he has taken his foot off the gas now that he's phat for life.

Excuse Hester for his exceedingly mortal performances as a wide receiver. A reasonable expectation for a second-year apprentice would have been right where Hester is in Week 10: 74th in the league in receiving yards. Bears Nation should hope he will be Michael Timpson some day.

What's sobering is Hester has become a rumor as a return man. Two years ago, some were calling him the greatest returner in NFL history. Today, Hester is in the top 10 in only one category: fair catches.

And Hester called for one near midfield in Sunday's 27-23 escape against the Lions. There were no white jerseys with Honolulu blue numerals near him. Bad judgment.

Nobody ever said he was a smart player, but can he be trained? These are professionals. One would think that by now, special-teams boss Dave Toub could have taught Hester when he should wave his hand and when he shouldn't. It doesn't seem that tall an order.

When Hester does have the ball, he lacks explosion. No swivel hips. No deceptive stutter step. He is consistent only by demonstrating the inability to produce on both punt and kick returns.

Hester has returned 20 kicks this season, but only one for more than 40 yards. Hardly worthy of ''Game Changer'' on his business card. In fact, of the league's kick returners who have at least 10 attempts, 29 have a higher yards-per-return average than Hester's 20.9.

The memory of Hester lighting the fuse to Super Bowl XLI with an electric 92-yard return for a touchdown seems like 10,000 light years ago.

The greatest of all time has become just another player. Just like that.

If there's good news, it's that Hester likely will get more chances to find his way. With the Bears' defense consistently failing to knock quarterbacks horizontal, it will ensure the kickoff-return team more opportunities to improve.

Hester also has had the ouchies. He tweaked his quadriceps and departed as the Bears outslugged the Vikings 48-41 three weeks ago. A mysterious rib-cage issue knocked him out of the Bears' 20-17 loss at Carolina in Week 2. That was game in which Greg Olsen had the Hesters and coughed it up twice.

Hester's most recent fumble, which set up a score in the Lions' 23-point outburt in the second quarter Sunday, was the 17th in his 2½-year career.

Is it reasonable to suspect Hester saw all that green, and dramatic touchdowns propelled by his meteoric burners became less important to him? I think it is. And I don't think Hester is the only guy in Lake Forest who has become as interested in how to spend it as he is in staying on the course that got him into that position.

Historically regarded among the NFL's most frugal outfits, the Bears succumbed to threats made by several players this summer and pacified the disgruntled Hester, Brian Urlacher and several others. Those concessions don't look so wise. Barring Lance Briggs and Charles Tillman, the most productive players on the NFC North leaders have been the younger players who aren't as handsomely compensated.

At least the Bears were smart to make Hester's deal incentive-laden. He would earn $10 million in each of his last years -- 2012 and 2013 -- if he reached all of his escalator bonuses. I'm betting those are checks the Bears never will write.

And I'm betting when the final chapter of the Devin Hester story is written, superlatives will be used guardedly. Right now, Hester is 2008-speak for Dante Hall.

What the hell was this mess? Actually, the subject matter is good and some of the comments were interesting but the writing is horrible.

Since when is each sentence accorded the status of paragraph?

It is clear that the Sun-Times is not only trying to save money by tossing a few sawbucks at non-writer shills but they must be reducing the ranks of editors as it is clear one never saw this before it was printed.

I liked this one. Nice job, Mac. Hopefully someone will read this to Hester and it will light a fire under him...

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This is my signature...

Fixed.

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I don't get the feeling he got paid and is not working as hard as he used to. I don't think he is a very smart guy and it is possible that the coaching staff is screwing him up. I have no idea what they want from him on the offensive side of the ball and am not sure he can be what they want him to be. He could be injured for all we know.

I wasn't mad they gave him the money, but I do wish they would have waited another year to see if he could stay at that level and see how he fit in with the offense.

Urlacher got paid and to some extent Harris and they aren't playing as hard as they could. They are assbags.

Something needs to be done in the return game...I don't know what. I kinda wish you would have offered some thoughts on that.

The saddest part of this article is the part where I realized that most of the people in the NFL are younger than me.

I think that's the issue that most people have with the Bears, Spulding.

That being said, I don't think much study needs to be done in regard to Kickoff/Punt return. I would understand it more if he were having trouble as a WR. But it's the other way around and it makes no sense to me at all...

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This is my signature...

You are turning into the Score is Doomed of writing analysis.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

At the beginning of this year he was returning stuff he should not have been returning. I think they talked to him about it and now he doesn't know what to do. This staff plays not to lose and I'd bet they told him to reign it in. They aren't teaching him this is how you play to win, how to field it, when to run it, when to fair catch, etc.

Just wait until the day you realize that many of the head coaches are younger than you...

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Nothing is different about Devin Hester. Nothing. Being a WR doesn't hurt him either. He's just as likely to return one this week as he was the last 2 years.

a. They aren't blocking as well.

b. Teams are defending kicks/punts better against the Bears.

c. It's just tough to repeat what Devin has done the last 2 years.

He'll return one this week if they kick it to him.

Don't be sad. It's the NFL. They'll still bang you Spaulding. Won't take much to get Urlacher. Just wink at him and tell him you like juice. He'll smile, say "me like juice too" and bang you.

I don't want to have sex with them I'm just sad my youth is slipping away. I didn't say my looks were going as I age either. You read into that or you believe my looks are going if I even had some to begin with.

Not at all. I didn't read anything into it. My mind always thinks the issue is one of "banging" or "not banging". That's what everything comes down to for me. I thought you were personally saying you felt too old to bang them. Sorry if I offended you. You look lovely Spaulding. NFL players don't deserve to bang you.

Christ, now you know why I don't get women. Even when I do get to talk to one I offend her. I'm gonna go home and throw a drink in my face on your behalf, Spaulding. The internet doesn't give you the chance the other girls get.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

[quote="Spaulding"]I don't get the feeling he got paid and is not working as hard as he used to. I don't think he is a very smart guy and it is possible that the coaching staff is screwing him up.

Your correct Spaulding, Hester is a dumb guy and he hangs out with morons with the same intellect such as this guy.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.j ... 3078533210

Until I got to this point, I thought you were talking about Mac!

Beardown, I was kidding. Don't be so quick to apologize. You could have said yeah I called you old and you're losing it. Come suck my d!ck while I'd still let you.

Jeebus, Slapshot is like that frog or gnome that traveled around the world and took pictures everywhere. I'm starting to think you guys photoshop him into everything. Next will be the rat pack or the pope.

It's very possible Mac's "coaching staff" is screwing him up too.

The pookers not only has more intelligence then Hester she speaks alot clearer and understandable, and she is 3 1/2 years old

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I thought the exact same thing, Col.

Brendon Ayanbadejo
Ah, the anonymous faces of special teams. Just toss a jersey to anyone that isn't a starter, and they'll block and tackle for you. Right, Mac?

Good points, Beardown. It wasn't as if Hester was making the returns on his own.