Listen to this crap:

Your new Cubs president
“Steve is the prototypical cool American male. Y'know, I'm talking about Steve McGarrett, alright? Steve Austin, Steve McQueen. Y'know, he's the guy on his horse, the guy alone. He has his own code of honor, his own code of ethics, his own rules of living, man. He never, ever tries to impress the women but he always gets the girl.’’

Cheer all you want about a new Cubs owner, but listen, the worst thing about a Cubs fan owning the team is that he might be so used to the “Lovable Loser’’ tripe and the coddling enviroment that he might not know how to execute a simple plan: Boot, meet butt.

Yeah, the Ricketts family made millions by making everybody accountable at Ameritrade. But that was the dad’s doing. The kid might just be a Cubs jock-sniffer with the most money.

So, now there’s talk that a “baseball man’’ would be brought in as president of the franchise to replace Trib legal wonk Crane Kenney and his curse-busting priest. I’ve heard Sandy Alderson mentioned, but I imagine almost every respected name will be floated for the Ricketts family -- John Schuerholz, Pat Gillick, Larry Lucchino, blah, blah, blah -- with some of those names being floated by the names themselves.

Truth is, the Cubs tried this before with Andy MacPhail. Jim Dowdle flew up to Minnesota and stole him from the penniless Twins. And just like that, the Cubs were graced with the magic of Ed Lynch, Jaime Navarro, Brooks Kieschnick, Turk Wendell, Mel Rojas, Kyle Farnsworth, Corey Patterson, Todd Hundley, Antonio Alfonseca and Fred McGriff.

But wait. There was more MacPhun with MacPhail: The only consecutive 95-loss seasons ever for a franchise that patented losing, and the coddling and creation of FrankenSosa when Mark Grace was told to walk and promptly walked into a World Series title in Arizona while FrankenSosa walked out on his team with his corked bats and corked arms.

If the Cubs are going to try it again, the answer is pretty simple. It was the answer when MacPhail first came in and was looking for a general manager.

Steve Stone.

Nobody knew the National League better than Stone when MacPhail was brought in. The National League in that ballpark, certainly, after all his years of broadcasting Cubs games. And nobody knew the Cubs better.

But MacPhail opted to give Lynch a learner’s permit, and how’d that work out for everybody?

Stone is guy who grew in the Baltimore system, where the philosophy was, if we need more hitting, we’ll get more pitching instead. And I believe he has a lot more self-respect than everybody else at Clark and Addision so that if Carlos Zambrano was going to be lazy, then he would be fined, suspended and/or traded for such stupidity and insubordination. And I don’t think Stone would go shopping for overpaid hood ornaments such as Alfonso Soriano and Milton Bradley.

It might be painful and a little time-consuming at first, but I believe Stone ultimately would build a baseball team, not a freak show.

But then, these are the Cubs, and Tom Ricketts was a bleacher bum, so maybe he’ll want to hire Bill Murray or John Cusack or Jim Belushi as team president because, hey, if you’re going to look like clowns on the field and in the manager’s office, then why not have a joker running them?




With all due respect to Rosenbloom, Stone can stick with the White Sox and "Hawk". Screw Stone!

I thought this was going to be about Rosebloom agreeing with Stone's health care policy.