No, this isnt to bitch about the current team.

This is all time.

Name a terrible Cubs acquisition. There are thousands of 'em.

I say Danny Lynn Jackson. Cubs got him simpy becuase of his one great 23-8 year.

I remember Steve Stone hyping him so much and he failed terribly.

_________________

Dusty Baker.

_________________
Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Ian Stewart for DJ Lemahieu?? That one worked out well.

_________________
That's my purse! I don't know you!

Mel Rojas

_________________
You know me like that.

Calvin Schiraldi + Al Nipper

_________________
"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

Matt Karchner
Doug Jones
Jeff Blauser

_________________

Karchner
Heredia

_________________

Wow. Felix Heredia....wasn't that dude like 54 years old?

_________________
Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

I was pissed when they traded two-time batting champion Bill Madlock for a washed up Bobby Murcer. That 77 season was my first disappointment as a Cub fan. They had a big lead in June and pissed it away by August.

_________________
We all have private ails. The troublemakers are they who need public cures for their private ails.- Eric Hoffer

Todd Hundley
LaTroy Hawkins

_________________
Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

nomar

_________________
"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

this.

Milton Bradly.

_________________

Sosa. He was such a problem the organization had to disown him.

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

As a fan, you. Die in a fire.

_________________

Antonio Alfonseca

_________________

This followed closely by the Jeff Blauser experience. Milton Bradley should probably be on my list but at the time he became more comic relief than anything.

Hendry traded Chris Archer for the soon to be cadaver of Matt Garza

Hundley and Rojas are the most notable. It took one at bat and one inning to realize these guys were no good.

_________________
Hawaii (fuck) You

The Dave Smith (RIP) era as closer for the Cubs was an absolute disaster.

IIRC as a superstition he used to change his cleats each time he blew a save, his first year in Chicago some shoe store saw their profits go through the fucking roof.

Bradley was horrendous, I thought Latroy was fine as setup man and couldn't close..or do I remember that wrong?

_________________

I think that is generally correct.

That said, he blew a bunch of key games down the stretch in 2004.

Edwin Jackson.

_________________
"This is Chicago, my friend. Anything can happen."

Correct. I think Hawkins said he did not want to close so they signed him to close.

Jacque Jones

nobody liked the acquisition from the start. Literally the 2nd or 3rd game of the season when he was making an out, people were booing him

_________________

which compelled dusty baker to pipe up and say "look dude, i wouldn't want to work for a place where they pull you out of your job at the first signs of trouble!" and compelled me to yell WHAT THE FUCK DUSTY YOU GODDAMN FOOL THIS ISN'T AN OFFICE JOB IT'S MOTHERFUCKING BASEBALL AND YOUR GUY LATROY IS BLOWING MULTIPLE SAVE OPPORTUNITIES DOWN THE STRETCH IN WHAT'S GOING TO END UP A CLOSE RACE!!!!!

of course, the cubs ended up losing out on that wild card by 1 or 2 games after a final weekend series against the braves was overshadowed by STONEGATE!

also, who could forget latroy taking on the media himself (i think after the in/famous game vs the reds at wrigley where steve stone called out exactly what was going to happen in extra innings and went on that postgame missive about how he's not second-guessing, he's first-guessing, but hey there are people who are paid a lot of money to make these decisions and, alas, that is not him) where he was ruminating over essentially grooving an 0-2 fastball to javier valentin or someone (i got a vibe like it was a man-up/you-cant-hit-me moment) like "IF I THROW A FASTBALL Y'ALL ARE GONNA SAY WHY DIDN'T YOU THROW A SLIDER?! IF I THROW A SLIDER Y'ALL ARE GONNA BE LIKE WHY AINT YOU THROW A FASTBALL?!!? NO MATTER WHAT I DO Y'ALL ARE [GONNA HATE]"

and then, of course, enabling that kind of combative/antagonistic relationship was big ol dustball who was going on about how he wouldn't wanna work for a boss who pulls you out of a job at the first signs of trouble. again, first signs?! lol didn't latroy blow something like 3-5 saves over the last few weeks of the season? whatever's clever, just as long as you don't compliment the other team's players on their daily performances against the cubs and expect carefree elevator rides. but hey, you know, when things were going better i have it on reasonable authority that they call him the planner, so clearly this was all going according to plan. and clearly dusty had a vision of the future where laurence holmes marked his territory in elevators so he knew that getting mercker out there in the shafts of justice would set a precedent that would go down in chicago [sports] media legend and lore.

TLDR = he's gotta have his horses, dude. did 05-06 teach you nothing? LET THE MAN HAVE HIS HORSES!

sincerely,

a walk clogging up the bases of life.

(yeah, even tho i'm not a cubs fan the 2004 cubs offended my baseball sensibilities so much i still clench up and argh reminiscing upon them to this day)

_________________

Not quite, signed him as a setup man. Sweaty Joe Borowski was coming off a very nice season as a closer, but blew out his shoulder in May. Hawkins somewhat forced into the closing role.

That is when he went off on that stupid “You can’t do my job I can do your job” rant against the media.