Dudes, what has happened? I go to the Natti for the weekend, since my Cubbies are going to LA anyway, to visit my broheim up at the university, play some cards, and watch the Cubs get their balls back and dominate the Dodgers.

But like, things started off all weird to begin with. First of all, I get a speeding ticket on my way up there. That never happens, bros. For reals, I have never been given a speeding ticket ever. I've been pulled over like a ton of times but the cops always know my dad, and so of course, they're not gonna mess with my shit. But these Ohio cops, holy shit! $125 on my ass.

Then I get to the card game, and there's like 8 people...and we got a $100 buy in, which is pretty weak shit but my boy C-Y tells me these dudes we're playing with are pussies, and he's stocked the fridge with Heinie's so all is well. Plus he said we could raise the stakes as we get deeper into it and shit.

But, this one little piece of shit dude, wearing a Dodgers shirt mind you, calls me all in in like the third hand. And bros, there's only like king high on the flop. There's no way this kid has shit...and I got a pair of king's. But he puts me all in--he's got pocket aces. I don't catch my king and he wins the hand. What a total Dee! I can't believe I didn't catch that king...and this dude holds up!

So I gotta buy in again...and once again, this dude puts me all in, around the time the Cubs game starts. He winds up catching a nut flush when I had two pair, Aces and Sevens. And then he's all, "Cubs are gonna get swept like I just swept you." And I'm all ready to throw the table at him for reals. But C-Y calms me down, tells me we're going to a club later and we'll get some ass and all will be well. Plus he was all optimistic about the Cubs.

Well, broheims, we all know what happened. And this Dodgers guy was all over me the entire time. I wanted to kill the guy, but like, everybody thought I was the bad guy because they said I was a "sore loser" just because I threw a few cards at a few people after losing some hands. Chillax dudes!

So I'm pretty sad about the Cubs and then we go to a club, and like...I'm totes feelin the vibes of the place. No one was reminding me of that shit the Cubs did, especially because the Dodgers guy was all making out with some ugly fat chick or something somewhere else.

But I start dancin with a few chicks, and it's on. I know I'm gonna get one of their number's...but then like, all these huge dudes come over, and the girls start dancing with THEM! What's that shit about?

And later on, this one girl I was talking to, I was all...so let me get your number, Rita, and she's all...I'd rather you be a friend...and I'm all, but I want to motorboat you! She slaps me in the face and throws her drink at me.

What a fucked up weekend, bros...it was the saddest days I can remember.

And now it's all cold and shit...

_________________
Dude, you are my bro.

Don Henley wouldn't tell a chick he wanted to motorboat her...he would just do it...and then ask her to help save the Walden Woods...

_________________

_________________
You can't see me because of internet.

The landowner effectively owns part shares in millions of part-time slaves called, "taxpayers." -Roy L
A Personal Relationship with Jesus?

*Playing of "Marengo" by Lorne Greene*

_________________
"Ditkith"? See that? That's your I.Q. Buddy! ZERO! ....I'd rather talk to HIM!"