Earlier today I received an email from the Astros telling me there will be no ALDS game five. I immediately called the ticket office to let them know they were wrong. They insisted they were right.

I told them that good dolphin, Brick, Ryan Tepera and others have assured me that game five would happen because among other things:

1. The Astros are scared
2. Bummer is the best pitcher in the series
3. The Astros can’t hit on the road.

I even showed them screenshots from this place as evidence that there will be a game five. Alas they showed me a vid of the Astros spraying champagne all over Comiskey Park. I think they are just happy to be returning to Houston, the greatest city of all, but maybe it is something else. I will investigate further and update tomorrow.

You've had better efforts

Houston is literally the ugliest and trashiest city in the country. Filled with the fattest people. The last one is s proven fact.

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Why are only 14 percent of black CPS 11th-graders proficient in English?

I'd give the effort 2.5 trashcan lids out of 5.

Best of luck, Astros*

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Successful calls:

Kyrie Irving will never win anything as a team's alpha: check
T.rubisky is a bust: check
Ben Simmons is a liability: check
The Fields Cult is dumb: double check

2013 CSFMB ROY

Altuve in particular seemed to have a hard time hitting today .

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Silent after game 3 to show up again now?

Even ltg isnt this big of a bbitch

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2005.

Go win a non-tainted World Series and then talk.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I wish there was a game 5. Houston could use it to help pay back all the FEMA money they get.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

This is a absolute tutorial in trolling.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

I did it first and better

Now fetch when I throw the stick

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Its a tutorial in being a complete bbitch.

Guy makes five baseball posts all year, then tucks tail when his team loses a game. You dont see dolphin disappear from the Cubs section like that.

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Yeah this was on par with the game 1 dogshit.

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I just wanted to know what it feels like to be a White Sox. Shitty effort and shitty results.

Agreed. The White Sox should have beaten the Astros. The White Sox are a better team.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

No, no they aren’t .

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Just a bad effort. That was all.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

So you're saying they chose to lose?

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

I think that’s what One Post is saying.

His Astros were the beneficiaries of a subpar effort by a better team.

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Ask One Post. He said the White Sox just had a bad effort.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I wrote none of those things. Produce the evidence or correct the record.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Me either. I didn't know anything about the Astros at all besides how they cheated and likely continue to cheat and got away with it. I'm a bandwagon White Sox fan since 2005.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

When your city's electrical grid collapses again this winter, please start your car in your garage and use the engine exhaust to heat your house.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

No matter how bad the first post was, every reply just makes it better.

Sox fans are nothing but kind to people like One Post.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

This man gets it...

You really showed us!

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

2005 will show you what shitty effort and shitty results.

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not entirely unreasonable!

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Game 5 report would have been excellent.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Now officially endorsed by an HVAC technician

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson