When I read today that Dodgers first base coach Mariano Duncan had called Ozzie a liar over a phone call that never took place regarding Ozzie hurting Latinos, I thought the story was wrong.

Wasn’t it St. Louis pitching coach Dave Duncan who said Ozzie lied about calling him? Wait a second. Ozzie’s mad at Andy Van Slyke for calling him a Latino hot head and said that explains why Van Slyke is merely a first base coach. No wait. He ripped on Duncan for merely being just a third base coach. No, he’s still mad at Phil Garner for not shaking his hand and treating him like a “crazy Venezuelan”.

Any truth to the rumor that this is all part of a script for a new Latino version of “Who’s on First?”

June 20 – Sun-Times reports that Ozzie is mad at Astros Manager Phil Garner because he didn’t shake his hand in the WS and claims Garner thinks he’s a “crazy Venezuelan”.

June 21 – Garner says Ozzie “needs some help” and claims he telephoned Ozzie to say that he has a photo of them hugging on the field.

June 21 – Ozzie said he called St. Louis pitching coach Dave Duncan to apologize about a June 20 bean ball incident

June 22 –Duncan says Ozzie never called and claims he’s “a liar”.

June 24 – Mariano Duncan says Ozzie is “hurting Latino players”.

June 25 – Ozzie says Duncan will never make it as “big league manager”

July 24 – Andy Van Slyke calls Ozzie a Latino “hot head”

July 24 – Ozzie says Duncan telephoned to apologize over June 24 comments.

July 25 – Ozzie says “that’s why I’m a manager and Van Slyke is just “coaching first base”

July 26 – Dodgers first base coach Mariano Duncan calls Ozzie “a liar”.

This is all obviously a part of the league-wide conspiracy to sabotage any hopes of the White Sox repeating as World Champs (see: "Mark Buerhle says the Twins Cheated").