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8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
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Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 10:52 pm ]
Post subject:  8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Stoneroses' favorite team is here. They come with their twenty-seven (27) world championships and all of the glorious history that comes with it. DEREK SANDERSON JETER will lead his team into battle on the field in the park formerly known as Comiskey, where I'm sure visions of the Ligues remind stoneroses of his nemesis, the Mets fans. Fear not, for not all Sox fans are like those inbred, drunk, wife beating hillbillies from the trailers of Alsip. Can the GLORIOUS NEW YORK YANKEES capture their twenty eighth (28th) world championship this season? Or will they be foiled by the Satan Elf himself, Brian Cashman, and his moronic minion, Joe Girardi. We shall see.

The Sox need a sweep. After the shitfest they put forth this weekend, I expect them to lose 3. I'm also predicting (and yes, I'm saying it like I mean it) that Alex Rios will be in the lineup on Monday to face Sabathia because Ozzie is an idiot, and is convinced that playing him is a good thing.

Pitching Matchups:

Jake Peavy (4-4) vs. CC Sabathia (15-5) Monday;
John Danks (4-8) vs. Phil Hughes (1-3) Tuesday;
Gavin Floyd (9-9) vs. A.J. Burnett (8-9) Wednesday;
Phil Humber (8-7) vs. Bartolo "Andre the Giant wishes he were as big as me" Colon (8-6) Thursday. All games 7:10 p.m.
Author:  Mr. Reason [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
You fail to include Mickey Charles Mantle somewhere in your post, for shame.
Author:  stoneroses86 [ Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
If you think that I am going to sit back and let The Glorious New York Yankees get cheated out of one single World Series Championship, then you are as crazy as the craziest person to ever inhabit an insane asylum. Let the record reflect, The Glorious New York Yankees, the most successful sporting franchise in the history of the world, have been Kings of the baseball world twenty-seven (27) times. I have witnessed seven (7) of these titles, so I know what I am talking about.

In return for my everlasting love and devotion to The Glorious New York Yankees, the Good Lord has deemed it necessary to force me to witness my arch-enemy, A.J. Burnett, lose in Comiskey Park for the second straight year. It is a very good thing that I will be with my young son, because otherwise it could get very ugly on Wednesday evening. As I believe in setting a good example for my son, I will mostly keep my anger pent up inside, and I hope that I do not suffer a fatal stroke or heart attack as a result. On Monday evening, I will be very close to the dugout, and I will be heckling A.J. Burnett mercilessly, using a very cutting and sarcastic series of verbal attacks. Most of these comments will be lost upon A.J. Burnett, as he is as stupid as a post. Joe Girardi went to Northwestern, and I am certain that his ears will be burning. I challenge Joe Girardi to come out of the dugout, and I will debate him on his lunacy in keeping A.J. Burnett in the rotation.

I wonder if The Satan Elf will be in attendance. Since he apparently went golfing all last week, when real major league baseball general managers were thinking about baseball, I doubt it. He probably needs some face time at the office TO AT LEAST ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY HIS PAYCHECK, A/K/A WASTED MONEY!!!!!!!!! I hear that The Satan Elf thinks the team is in good shape just as it is. Really? IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE A.J. BURNETT STARTING AND IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE ASSEMBLED A CLUB THAT CANNOT DEFEAT ITS BIGGEST DIVISION RIVAL, YOU SON OF A BITCH?!!!!!!?

I am already very much on edge.

Hope to see most of you at the ballpark!
Author:  Rod [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 6:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Yesterday felt like the end of the season. I'm sorry they didn't move Thornton and Quentin for prospects. When Bad Ohman came in with the game on the line I had high hopes that Thornton was gone. If you're not going to use Thornton there, why not get rid of him?

Another nonchalant throw by Rios allows an extra run to score. Ozzie is full of shit. He pays a bunch of lip service to his mentor Bobby Cox, yet Cox would have pulled that lazy bastard right there in the middle of the inning. At this point it appears Rios is almost sabotaging this team. The Sox should do whatever they can to mitigate that situation. It won't be cheap and it won't be pretty, but that bum has to go ASAP if they want to keep the tiny chance they still have of winning this shitty division alive.
Author:  Walt Williams Neck [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
This team has quit :cry:
Author:  Country Bumpkin [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
This team is bad and has underperformed as we all know. Ozzie Guillen is an average at best Manager. I fully believe what that tub o' goo (Bobby Jenks) said about Ozzie mishandling his bullpen to be true. Ozzie plays the bad players and no player on that team is afraid of Ozzie because there really are no repercussions if you play badly.
Kenny Williams has run out of bullets and made a teeny splash, but nothing of note.
If these two boobs are gone next year, and a competent Manager is put in his place, this team will perform better.

They can shitcan that thin-skinned prick Cooper as well.
Author:  SHARK [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
It'll be a few hours before the lineup is revealed, but it's already going to be a tough assignment dealing with a lefty in C.C. Sabathia that has feasted on White Sox pitching dating back to when he was a Cleveland Indian. It'll be even tougher tonight and maybe tomorrow night without Paul Konerko due to a calf injury sustained vs. another lefty in Boston Red Sox starter (for now) Andrew Miller yesterday.

As a result, Ozzie's much-maligned lineup will likely have Adam Dunn at first base, still swinging and missing badly, Carlos Quentin becoming this team's DH & Brent Lillibridge likely getting the assignment in right field this eve vs. Sabathia and maybe tomorrow night as well vs. Yankee righty Phil Hughes.

Speaking of Lillibridge, I first saw this story on whitesox.com and I tweeted about it on my Twitter page before yesterday's 5-3 loss to Boston. You may have noticed Lillibridge at first base once Konerko's calf wouldn't allow him to continue yesterday. The sight of Lillibridge at first base is a sight you may (or may not) want to see, I tweeted. Now that Mark Teahen is in Toronto as a result of last week's 3-way deal that also sent Edwin Jackson to St. Louis and Jason Frasor here, if Konerko and/or Dunn get injured or if Ozzie now needs to have a pinch-runner, Lillibridge and/or "Old Man" Omar Vizquel may be pressed into service at first base late in ballgames. Vizquel, who is now platooning with Brent Morel at third base, did see a little time at first for the first time in his 22-year MLB career earlier this season during the Sox annual visit to Toronto's Rogers Centre vs. the Blue Jays.
Author:  Keyser Soze [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
I think they will callup Viciedo when he's healthy, SHARKY. He is probably a better fit than De Aza because of his ability to play the corner OF and 1B. If they want to give Rios a couple more days off they can just play Lillibridge. No need to have 1 Juan Pierre on this team let alone two.
Author:  SHARK [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Keyser Soze wrote:
I think they will callup Viciedo when he's healthy, SHARKY. He is probably a better fit than De Aza because of his ability to play the corner OF and 1B. If they want to give Rios a couple more days off they can just play Lillibridge. No need to have 1 Juan Pierre on this team let alone two.

I think that explains why Carlos Quentin is still on the White Sox right now, Keyser. Dayan Viciedo is the future in right field for this team, and the status of Viciedo's thumb played a role in why Quentin wasn't dealt at the MLB Trade Deadline yesterday.

Speaking of CQ, he's the DH in the Paul Konerko-less lineup vs. the Yankees' C.C. Sabathia, which looks like this:

1 Juan "1 for 2 Batting 3rd" Pierre LF
10 Alexei "2 Hits, 2 K's" Ramirez SS
20 Carlos "I Can Hit Lefties" Quentin DH
32 Adam "Got a Hit vs. a Lefty Yesterday! YAY!" Dunn 1B
51 Alex "Still Dogging It" Rios CF
12 A.J. "Pressed to Leadoff Briefly" Pierzynski C
15 Gordon "This Is Where I Should Be Batting" Beckham 2B
18 Brent "Lead-Off Man Yesterday, Batting 8th Tonight" Lillibridge RF
22 Brent "2 More Hits, But Why Am I Platooning w/Vizquel?" Morel 3B

Jake "Insert 'M*A*S*H' Theme" Peavy starts for the Southsiders in the first of 4 with the just as hot Yankees at "The Cell" tonight.
Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
SHARK wrote:
Jake "Insert 'M*A*S*H' Theme" Peavy starts for the Southsiders in the first of 4 with the just as hot Yankees at "The Cell" tonight.


Are you suggesting that Peavy commit suicide?
Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Wow. There is a lot to not like about this lineup.
1st, Dunn followed by Rios. And at 4 and 5. This is a major league head scratcher. Why are you even PLAYING Rios at this point? What was that KW bitch fest about not playing the biggest investment but the best player yadda yadda... [cheesy scottish accent]nothing but a bunch of crap! [/cheesy scottish accent]
Also I don't like Dunn playing 1st. Why? He's going to hurt someone over there. Maybe even himself. It's best not to let him get a hold of a baseball with his hands. It's ok in some circumstances to let him try to hit one but that's as close a relationship to the ball he should have. It's a destructive relationship.
And be ready to replace Peavy in the 6th no matter what he says, please.
Author:  SHARK [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Hank Scorpio wrote:
SHARK wrote:
Jake "Insert 'M*A*S*H' Theme" Peavy starts for the Southsiders in the first of 4 with the just as hot Yankees at "The Cell" tonight.


Are you suggesting that Peavy commit suicide?

Not a chance...
Author:  Phil McCracken [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
SHARK wrote:
Hank Scorpio wrote:
SHARK wrote:
Jake "Insert 'M*A*S*H' Theme" Peavy starts for the Southsiders in the first of 4 with the just as hot Yankees at "The Cell" tonight.


Are you suggesting that Peavy commit suicide?

Not a chance...

That's one way to get out from under his contract I guess.
Author:  Brick [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
If the White Sox don't win 3 out of 4 vs. the Yankees I'm declaring the season over.
Author:  rogers park bryan [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Hank Scorpio wrote:

Are you suggesting that Peavy commit suicide?


SHARK wrote:
Not a chance...



Phil McCracken wrote:
That's one way to get out from under his contract I guess.


He'd probably get hurt during the attempt forcing Humber to come in and finish him off.
Author:  Phil McCracken [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
If the White Sox don't win 3 out of 4 vs. the Yankees I'm declaring the season over.

They already won the BP Cup what more could you ask for from a baseball season?
Author:  SHARK [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
rogers park bryan wrote:
Phil McCracken wrote:
SHARK wrote:

Are you suggesting that Peavy commit suicide?

Not a chance...

That's one way to get out from under his contract I guess.

He'd probably get hurt during the attempt forcing Humber to come in and finish him off.[/quote]
Guys, Jake Peavy is one bad injury away from ending his career...
Author:  Brick [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Phil McCracken wrote:
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
If the White Sox don't win 3 out of 4 vs. the Yankees I'm declaring the season over.

They already won the BP Cup what more could you ask for from a baseball season?
The season will have been a success. It's just done. The secondary goal of winning the World Series is gone but the BP Cup rings will still be distributed.
Author:  Rod [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
SHARK wrote:
Guys, Jake Peavy is one bad injury away from ending his career...


Couldn't you say the same about any player, SHARK?
Author:  Frank Coztansa [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
SHARK wrote:
Guys, Jake Peavy is one bad injury away from ending his career...

:? :roll: You could say that about a lot of professional athletes.
Author:  stoneroses86 [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 1:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
SHARK wrote:
Guys, Jake Peavy is one bad injury away from ending his career...

What about a bizarre gardening accident, a la John "Stumpy" Pepys?
Author:  stoneroses86 [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
I fear that C.C. Sabathia is one leg amputation away from a subpar season.
Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
stoneroses86 wrote:
SHARK wrote:
Guys, Jake Peavy is one bad injury away from ending his career...

What about a bizarre gardening accident, a la John "Stumpy" Pepys?

:lol:
Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
sjboyd0137 wrote:
I'm also predicting (and yes, I'm saying it like I mean it) that Alex Rios will be in the lineup on Monday to face Sabathia because Ozzie is an idiot

SHARK wrote:
1 Juan "1 for 2 Batting 3rd" Pierre LF
10 Alexei "2 Hits, 2 K's" Ramirez SS
20 Carlos "I Can Hit Lefties" Quentin DH
32 Adam "Got a Hit vs. a Lefty Yesterday! YAY!" Dunn 1B
51 Alex "Still Dogging It" Rios CF 12 A.J. "Pressed to Leadoff Briefly" Pierzynski C
15 Gordon "This Is Where I Should Be Batting" Beckham 2B
18 Brent "Lead-Off Man Yesterday, Batting 8th Tonight" Lillibridge RF
22 Brent "2 More Hits, But Why Am I Platooning w/Vizquel?" Morel 3B


Gotta go get that lefty/righty matchup, huh Ozzie? You fucking asshole. Looks like General Manager Morpheous's proclomation of Lazy Ass Rios being benched lasted all of 2 whole fucking games. Fuck this team. I hope they get swept.
Author:  rogers park bryan [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
If StoneRoses is not on Facebook....perhaps this will persuade him to join.


http://www.facebook.com/pages/Yankees-are-gonna-win-tonight-LOL-JK-AJ-Burnett-is-pitching/132704056754342
Author:  Terry's Peeps [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Sox win 3 of 4.
Author:  stoneroses86 [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
rogers park bryan wrote:
If StoneRoses is not on Facebook....perhaps this will persuade him to join.


http://www.facebook.com/pages/Yankees-are-gonna-win-tonight-LOL-JK-AJ-Burnett-is-pitching/132704056754342


Ha ha ha! It is so funny because it is true. I literally hate A.J. Burnett so much that I would rather have O'Bama pitching.

I will now be leaving for Comiskey Park. Look for me on television, beyotches! Ha ha ha!
Terry's Peeps wrote:
Sox win 3 of 4.


Do not bother approaching me Terry's Peeps. Just kidding - laughing out loud.
Author:  Terry's Peeps [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
I will approach slowly with a beer in each hand.
Author:  stoneroses86 [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 2:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Terry's Peeps wrote:
I will approach slowly with a beer in each hand.


I do not drink alcohol, because I prefer to keep my mind razor sharp. Leaving now!
Author:  Walt Williams Neck [ Mon Aug 01, 2011 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 8/1-8/4 The Bronx Fighting Satan Elves
Jacob doesn't go 3 ..and Ozwaldo gets the heave ho :lol:
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