THE WHITE SOX HAVE NEW RACING MASCOTS
Posted by Shawn Anderson on Mar 26, 2014 21:02


The Milwaukee Brewers should, really, get a residual check every time a team trots out a new racing anything.

Why? Because, much like how 20-25 years ago, every hack comedian had a sitcom deal…seemingly every Major League franchise is sending a huge bobbly-headed mascot to run around their field. Think about it. There are, of course, the Famous Racing Sausages in Milwaukee, the Racing Presidents in Washington, racing former players in both Oakland and Arizona…the list keeps growing.

And here comes the Chicago White Sox looking to sour the whole thing. Presenting…the White Sox Racing Announcers!



Left to right, that's Darrin Jackson, Ed Farmer, Steve Stone and Hawk Harrelson. But don't worry, gang, they come equipped with their own monogrammed polo shirt should (gasp!)…you not know immediately what your favorite disembodied radio and TV voice look like.

And, frankly, why would you?

This is only worth it if the Hawk dummy plots the others' downfall each race, Wyle E. Coyote style.

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The White Sox had to come up with a horrible idea to keep up with Clark the Cub.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

They should have just made the race, Jerry Reinsdorf chasing bags of taxpayer money.

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If they have hired William Ligue Jr and his son to pick off 2 off them near the end of the race then this could be huge.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

Bad! Stupid!

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Proud to be UNVERIFIED.

When did DJ become white ?

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Proud to be UNVERIFIED.

Fittingly, all the announcers look like big dicks.

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Best in the business Brooks Boyer!

Why are two of them wearing yellow polos?
How come none of their jean skirts have zippers?
What is Hawk wearing? A practice penny? A low cut vest?

This just shows how enamored Weird Jerry is of his ex-jock announcers. Three of the four are widely considered to be among baseball's worst, yet here he is pushing the team to market them as star personalities.

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Was just gonna post that. That seems disturbing.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

They should either extend the pants or put a line down the middle to make it clear they are pants.

Looks like they're wearing skirts

DJ, Farmer, and Stone are really considered that bad?

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/broadcaster-rankings-tv-intro-and-31/

http://www.fangraphs.com/blogs/broadcaster-rankings-radio-30-21/

Fangraphs did an unscientific survey and Sox were 31st out of 31 in TV and 29th out of 30 in radio.

The Farmer/DJ and Hawk/Stone broadcasts are easily some of the best funbad radio/TV ever. The lack of chemistry between each booth is hilarious. DJ and Hawk aren't terrible themselves but they're given partners that are awful complements.

Jerry would win everytime! /bigfan

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The race would also feature a giant crane that trips and falls coming out of the starting gate.

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Obsessed with me a little?

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

I dont think theyre supposed to be pants. It looks like theyre an announcers desk. Bur stupid with jeans and gym shoes sticking out.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Correct me if I'm wrong, or if it's changed, but hasn't a trademark of Steve Stone always been a traditional microphone instead of a headset?

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completely tone deaf in that it seems like only about 50% of the fans I know enjoy either of the announcing teams...and these are the people most inclined to lap up anything white sox

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

This is exactly why the White Sox are the White Sox. Lets be like the Brewers! This is an insult even for White Sox fans.
This kind of nonsense is better left to single A teams like the KC Cougars.

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CSFMB 2014 Nascar Pick 'em Champion

We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much. — Ronald Reagan

this is actually quite hilarious


will the steve stone mascot lineup 30 feet away from the hawk mascot when they start race?

will the farmer mascot ask DJ about his pitching days before each race?

If Hawk is losing the race, the guy in costume will just stop running and not move until the race is over.

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............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ and this race is ohva

1. Like you guys said, why did they make DJ white? Why did they also make him look "special"?

2. Why did they make Farmer look like a stroke victim?

3. Like Bernstein said, why did they give Steve Stone a HUGE nose when in real life he doesn't have a big nose? Not as big as they portray it here, at least. Can you say anti-semitic.

4. They actually got Hawk right.

I take back what I said about Farmer. The character looks better than the real life version.

Forget the race. Here's the better idea. Fans will sure as hell love.

All 3 of these guys hate Hawk. Have each of them fight Hawk at the 7th inning stretch. Rotate it every game. Keep track of the record.

Then on the last home game of the year, it's "Stone vs. Hawk: Fight to the death"

Steve stone puts a shiv in Hawks gut, elevates Hawk in the air and Hawk bleeds out. The crowd noise at Sox park would never be louder.

Will the Farmer mascot wear Notre Dame colors and no socks...because my good friends know I love Notre Dame and that I never wear socks.

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