but Pierre McGuire's like "OHHH OHHH, so big, hittin' on the forecheck," gasping, fawning, bugging Eddie Olczyk, we don't care, we're punching mute buttons for our screens.
Irresistible force and immovable object tonight. The Hawks have scored 128 goals this year, the Kings have allowed 63, their averages per game lead the league in their respective departments and I don't think either second-place team is terribly close. On the opposite sides of the ledger, the Kings are running an effective but underwhelming offense that's mostly built around the deadly skill of Anze Kopitar and Mike Richards, with 29 and 27 points in 33, respectively. Justin Williams seems to be a decent passenger for those two, but then production falls off hard: everyone else is pretty much in the teens for points, including Cap'n Duckface, who only has 6 and 5 on the year with no games missed, and I love that, because I hate players who get media blowjobs because of which country they departed a vagina in. It's especially tedious in Olympic seasons. Doan and the Staals get it on the other side of the line. Toews does, too, but he can because he's actually fucking done things. Of course, they can get away with not scoring tons of goals because of the goaltending from Jonathan Quick and now also Ben Scrivens and now also-also a guy named Martin Jones. Apparently these California teams just spontaneously generate goalies, except for the Sharks, who steal them from the Blackhawks.
The less said about the Hawks' goals allowed, the better. Jesus Christ.
Important game tonight. Despite all the points the Hawks have amassed, they're not getting them where they need them most, against likely postseason foes, making them sort of a Jobber To The Stars (but not to the Dallas Stars). To wit:
Minnesota: lost soundly in regulation, won soundly in regulation, blew a late lead in regulation Colorado: lost a blowout Anaheim: lost a shootout St. Louis: blew a late tie in regulation, lost a shootout San Jose: blew them out
End result: 6 points earned, 12 given, 16 possible.
So beating the Kings soundly would go a long way in shaking some of my fears, but the Kings haven't really been into losing soundly lately. And the worst part is that while seeing Darryl Sutter's perpetual derpface would be annoying enough in and of itself, now I'm gonna see Darryl Sutter's perpetual derpface and start hearing "CUTTY ISN'T PLAYING, BEARDOWN! CUTTY ISN'T PLAYING!" in my head.
Gameplan for the Kings is nothing revolutionary: they dump and chase, you get the dump-in back before they do and make them look dopey for ceding possession like that. It's worked before. Hope it does tonight. It's another WGN game, btw.
Kings: 22-7-4 (48), 17-9-7 adjusted (41), 44.535 expected Hawks: 23-7-5 (51), 19-9-7 adjusted (45), 45.286 expected
Kings: 2.667 scored (14th), 1.909 allowed (1st), 0.758 differential (5th) Hawks: 3.657 scored (1st), 2.771 allowed (19th), 0.886 differential (2nd)
Kings: 20/119 16.8% on the power play (20th), 113/131 86.3% on the kill (5th) Hawks: 28/118 23.7% on the power play (5th), 76/104 74.0% on the kill (29th)
gulp.
_________________ Molly Lambert wrote: The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.
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