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hackwilson's ribbies
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:26 pm 
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pizza_Place: Benny's on 26th in Berwyn
Well, I guess that I should line up my excuses now, as I'm almost assured an embarrassing performance on Saturday...

1) I've only gone bowling twice in the last two years, and was pretty inconsistent, even though I have to admit that both times were on a date and I was kind-of "throwin' off" so I didn't make the young ladies feel bad. (Yeah, I know - "hack, you sure know how to impress women" - laugh all you want, I sealed the deal both times, and I'll take my button 48)

2) While I may look like a bowler because I have my own ball and shoes, I really am terrible - My stupid bitch of an ex made me get into a co-ed bowling league like three years in a row 'cuz she was a good bowler and had fun with it. Her mom bought me the bowling shoes and I got the ball as part of the league one year...

3) The bar may only have really crappy beer (i.e., Miller, Bud, PBR, Schlitz, etc.) and I really don't care if you clowns come outta the woodwork defending your damn Miller High Life - I'll choke it down, but it'll throw me off my game 'cuz it sucks, it gives me a different buzz and, well I'm just an annoying beer snob...Maybe I'll just go the whiskey route and call it a day
a) I may be a bit too inebriated to bowl well if I'm drinkin' whiskey in earnest

4) I (attempt to) throw a hook with a ball that was drilled to be thrown as a straight-ball

5) I have a partially-torn rotator cuff that I kind-of aggravated at Hoops II

Well, that's it for now, but I'll make sure I pass along additional excuses because I'm absolutely positive that they make for riveting reading material - lookin' forward to Saturday...
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Ryno's Wife
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:50 pm 
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Here are my pre-excuses:

I tripped on an orange peel.
The floor was too dusty.
Jason Goff body slammed me.
I was too drinky.
I wasn't drinky enough.
I have a blister on my thumb.
My ball was too heavy.
The lanes were too slick.
The lanes weren't slick enough.
I forgot how to keep score.
I left my rosin bag at home.
My shoes didn't slide.
The back is acting up again.
I can't see the arrows on the floor.
There are no bumpers.
The people on my team distracted me.

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hackwilson's ribbies
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:10 pm 
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Quote:
Jason Goff body slammed me.


:lol: :lol: :lol: Nice - Well, Goff won't be there, so we'll have to have another hired gun to take you out, RW
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The Original Kid Cairo
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:12 pm 
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Jason Goff is RW's "baby daddy."

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Ryno's Wife
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:14 pm 
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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
Jason Goff is RW's "baby daddy."


Kid, do you still love me even though I am carrying another man's child?

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The Original Kid Cairo
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:16 pm 
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If it were anybody's child other than Goff I'd say no. But that's Jason freakin Goff! The guy gets to see Dan Bernstein every day for God's sake!

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Ryno's Wife
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:25 pm 
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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
If it were anybody's child other than Goff I'd say no. But that's Jason freakin Goff! The guy gets to see Dan Bernstein every day for God's sake!


Sweet. You're the best guy a girl could ask for.

I heart you.

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Frank Coztansa
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 5:45 pm 
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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
If it were anybody's child other than Goff I'd say no. But that's Jason freakin Goff! The guy gets to see Dan Bernstein every day for God's sake!

So does Boers.


And probably Murph.

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doug - evergreen park
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 5:51 pm 
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I'll bowl a 158 or a 98...just depends.

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Puckhead
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:04 pm 
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Ill probably stay around the low 200's so that I dont feel like such a showoff.

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Killer V
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:34 pm 
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Should we start a poll as to who the first person to fall down will be?

(excluding Harry)

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Last edited by Killer V on Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Eaglo Jeff
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:37 pm 
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DaMaNa.....or not.

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The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
I once jerked in a chicken truck, so I have that going for me.
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City of Fools
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:52 pm 
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I will be the first one to:

a)slip and fall
b)bowl a 22
c)crack my wrist in the first game
d)screw up the bowling scoring computer...

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Eaglo Jeff
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:54 pm 
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Who will be the first person to mention SHARK?

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bigfan wrote:
I am in the urination, puking, drunk, yelling zone.

The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
I once jerked in a chicken truck, so I have that going for me.
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Killer V
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:29 pm 
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doug - evergreen park wrote:
I'll bowl a 158 or a 98...just depends.


Can you wear more than that please?

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I smell a bit....
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W_Z
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:40 pm 
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i'm fairly average to below average.
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Darkside
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:42 pm 
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W_Z wrote:
i'm fairly average to below average.

Right, but how do you bowl?

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W_Z
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:43 pm 
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Darkside wrote:
W_Z wrote:
i'm fairly average to below average.

Right, but how do you bowl?


that's darkside, ladies and gentlemen, give him a big hand!
:mrgreen:
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Frank Coztansa
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:49 pm 
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Are we using monikers as names in the auto-scorer? I have one name that I always use, and no its not "poo" or "ass"

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Killer V
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 8:19 pm 
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g-a-y?

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Juice's Lecture Notes wrote:
I smell a bit....
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W_Z
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:31 pm 
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i want "smokey".
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Hawkeye Vince
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:39 pm 
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Ryno's Wife wrote:
Here are my pre-excuses:
My ball was too heavy.


You don't strike me as the type to complain about heavy balls.
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Ryno's Wife
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:58 am 
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Hawkeye Vince wrote:
Ryno's Wife wrote:
Here are my pre-excuses:
My ball was too heavy.


You don't strike me as the type to complain about heavy balls.


That's because the men I date never have them :wink:

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The Original Kid Cairo
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:04 am 
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You've been searching in all the wrong places then RW.

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Killer V
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:09 am 
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OKC, I'm pretty sure RW knows where to find the balls on a guy.

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Juice's Lecture Notes wrote:
I smell a bit....
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Hawkeye Vince
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:17 am 
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Killer V wrote:
OKC, I'm pretty sure RW knows where to find the balls on a guy.


ANother woman's purse?
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Ryno's Wife
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 10:00 am 
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Hawkeye Vince wrote:
Killer V wrote:
OKC, I'm pretty sure RW knows where to find the balls on a guy.


Another woman's purse?


That's just Spanky's balls. I know where most of you boys keep them.

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doug - evergreen park
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:44 am 
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Killer V wrote:
doug - evergreen park wrote:
I'll bowl a 158 or a 98...just depends.


Can you wear more than that please?


what?

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@audioidkid
spaulding wrote:
Also if you fuck someone like they are a millionaire they might go try to be one.
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Krazy Ivan
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:45 am 
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doug - evergreen park wrote:
Killer V wrote:
doug - evergreen park wrote:
I'll bowl a 158 or a 98...just depends.


Can you wear more than that please?


what?


depends = adult diapers

Killer V is giving this 'funny' thing a try. Let's not discourage him...

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doug - evergreen park
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:48 am 
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ah...i get it. i'll turn off the "dick and shit" joke filter.

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@audioidkid
spaulding wrote:
Also if you fuck someone like they are a millionaire they might go try to be one.
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