https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/askamy/ct-ask-amy-03312019-story.html

Dear Amy: I am a 66-year-old man. I recently withdrew from my monthly poker group, where I’ve played for 12 years.

The owner of the home where we play cards generally restricts the players to about seven or eight versions of straight poker. Experienced players know there are dozens of other poker versions that offer fun and mental variety to the game.

Ten years ago, he graciously permitted the players to play one alternative “split the pot” game before and after dinner. One night recently, one player asked to break with tradition and was permitted to play another split-pot game. Wow! Five minutes later, I asked for the same dispensation but was inexplicably denied.

Seems like I had a clarion moment and realized that I was not an “equal” player in the game (we are all well over 60) and was simply being used. I have always been a generous participant, bringing full dinners for everyone and doing neighborly favors for the host.

I have not returned but am in touch with a couple of the players. How do I get over this maltreatment? I keep telling myself, “Be YOU, not them.”

— Dealt a Bad Hand

Dear Dealt: I assume that in poker, the house can set the rules. Your former host seems to have taken this control to an extreme.

You have already quit the group, so the stakes are low for you at this point. You might as well make an effort to change the game. You can contact everyone (including the host) and offer to host an alternate/additional game — not on the same night as the original. Players could then choose to play twice a month. People either will ante up or they won’t.

You can also check meetup.com to see if there is another poker game in your area. When I did a search, I found a group very near to where I live. I’m hoping readers will weigh in with suggestions.