Chicago Fanatics Message Board :: View topic - Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy

Mr. Hoffy! Mr. Hoffy!

Killer V, from the Hiawatha Press Gazette...

Based on your ball-handling skills, did you have any trouble holding onto your press release while transporting it to the fax machine?

Mr Hoffy Mr Hoffy!

Did you ever feel at any point in time that the game passed you by or rather people passed right by you?

Mr Hoffy! As a follow up, you mentioned being felt up. Is there anyone in particular you enjoyed being felt up by?

Mr. Hoffy! Mr. Hoffy!

Numerous sources are reporting that your decision to retire is NOT in fact based on wanting to go out on top, but a precursor to a move to the CSFMB hockey league. Is there any truth to those rumors?

Mr. Hoffy, Mr. Hoffy......

If possible can you expound on this qoute
"I find anything that involves putting balls into a hole would probably work for me."

Are you truly good at putting balls of any size into hole's of various sizes? And what type of balls are we talking about here?

Wait! Wait! Mr. Hoffy! Mr. Hoffy!

Ryno's Wife, from Suburban DuPage Woman...

Can you tell our readers who the sweatiest player was?

The hairiest?

The smelliest?

The whiniest?

Thank you for your consideration.

Mr. Hoffy, Mr. Hoffy!

Any truth to the rumor that when you come back, you'll be wearing no. 45?

City of Fools wrote:

Mr. Hoffy, Mr. Hoffy!

Any truth to the rumor that when you come back, you'll be wearing no. 45?

I'd like to add on to this question - will you wear pants?

Author:	Crystal Lake Hoffy [ Sun Nov 23, 2008 4:25 pm ]
Post subject:	Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Good Day. Today, it is with a heavy heart that I announce my retirement from Hoops. I know this may surprise a lot of people, and it may sound selfish, but after thinking about it I decided I wanted to go out on top of my game. I will have a lot of great memories of playing this sport, especially my first game. I wont lie, I was nervous when I first signed up, but to be able to prove to all my critics who didnt believe I could do it... well, thats a lot of where my drive came from. It was great to see all those minutes of practice out there in the cold November days up in Crystal Lake not go to waste. I proved that even though most people think of you as that retarded kid who looks a lot like Kyle Orton, you can make it if you really put your mind to it. Im gonna try not to get emotional. I want to first thank God. He gave me the talents to be able to catch those errant passes from Kid Cairo and Krazy Ivan. He gave me the drive to be able to undress W_Z like a $2 hooker. I thank Him for everything I have. I would like to thank my wife. She has been there for me when I was doubting my basketball skills. She was the rock I could lean on here in the physical world. Finally, I would like to thank my parents. Without them, I wouldnt be here today. I will say, never is usually never never. So, Im not saying, Im just saying... the door may be open for another Hoops. But right now? I just dont know. Peace out! [The floor is now open for questions]

Author:	Killer V [ Sun Nov 23, 2008 4:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Mr. Hoffy! Mr. Hoffy! Killer V, from the Hiawatha Press Gazette... Based on your ball-handling skills, did you have any trouble holding onto your press release while transporting it to the fax machine?

Author:	Crystal Lake Hoffy [ Sun Nov 23, 2008 5:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Killer V wrote: Mr. Hoffy! Mr. Hoffy! Killer V, from the Hiawatha Press Gazette... Based on your ball-handling skills, did you have any trouble holding onto your press release while transporting it to the fax machine? Again, I would like to thank you all for coming out here today. The love and support has really been something I will never forget. To address this issue in particular. I had been playing through a serious injury most of my career that has had some impact on my abilities. But the overall package more then covers my short comings. Next question?

Author:	Hawkeye Vince [ Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Mr Hoffy Mr Hoffy! Did you ever feel at any point in time that the game passed you by or rather people passed right by you?

Author:	Crystal Lake Hoffy [ Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Hawkeye Vince wrote: Mr Hoffy Mr Hoffy! Did you ever feel at any point in time that the game passed you by or rather people passed right by you? Thank you for the question. I guess there are a lot of different ways that you can look at it. It was a struggle almost game to game, but in the end, the team that scored the most points usually wins. I think thats what is so wonderful about our sport. I can remember back a long time back to the first game, we were still really feeling each other out. But by the last game, we were really just feeling each other up. Again, it was a pleasure to play with such great talents. Were there difficult times? Sure, I wont lie. It was a struggle game by game, basket by basket. Are there any more questions?

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Author:	Hawkeye Vince [ Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Mr Hoffy! As a follow up, you mentioned being felt up. Is there anyone in particular you enjoyed being felt up by?

Author:	W_Z [ Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Michelle Tafoya has a question but she's waiting for Mike Tirico to tell her what it will be.

Author:	Baby McNown [ Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Mr. Hoffy! Mr. Hoffy! Numerous sources are reporting that your decision to retire is NOT in fact based on wanting to go out on top, but a precursor to a move to the CSFMB hockey league. Is there any truth to those rumors?

Author:	Redneckmommy [ Sun Nov 23, 2008 10:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Mr. Hoffy, Mr. Hoffy...... If possible can you expound on this qoute "I find anything that involves putting balls into a hole would probably work for me." Are you truly good at putting balls of any size into hole's of various sizes? And what type of balls are we talking about here?

Author:	Ryno's Wife [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:00 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Wait! Wait! Mr. Hoffy! Mr. Hoffy! Ryno's Wife, from Suburban DuPage Woman... Can you tell our readers who the sweatiest player was? The hairiest? The smelliest? The whiniest? Thank you for your consideration.

Author:	Crystal Lake Hoffy [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Ryno's Wife wrote: Wait! Wait! Mr. Hoffy! Mr. Hoffy! Ryno's Wife, from Suburban DuPage Woman... Can you tell our readers who the sweatiest player was? The hairiest? The smelliest? The whiniest? Thank you for your consideration. Allright, I guess I can answer one more, but then I have to go. A lot of important things to do and all. I aspire someday to hold office. Im thinking of starting as a Senator. President-elect Obama has really inspired me. I figure if he can win the presidency with little experience and a little socialism, I can do just about anything, right? But to best answer your question, I would need to really reach deep down to find the answer. Again, I thank you all for your support and wish nothing but the best for the future of Hoops.

Author:	City of Fools [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:54 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Mr. Hoffy, Mr. Hoffy! Any truth to the rumor that when you come back, you'll be wearing no. 45?

Author:	Hawkeye Vince [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:10 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
City of Fools wrote: Mr. Hoffy, Mr. Hoffy! Any truth to the rumor that when you come back, you'll be wearing no. 45? I'd like to add on to this question - will you wear pants?

Author:	Redneckmommy [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Hawkeye Vince wrote: City of Fools wrote: Mr. Hoffy, Mr. Hoffy! Any truth to the rumor that when you come back, you'll be wearing no. 45? I'd like to add on to this question - will you wear pants? let's hope he does

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Author:	City of Fools [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Official Press Release from Crystal Lake Hoffy
Ryno's Wife wrote: Wait! Wait! Mr. Hoffy! Mr. Hoffy! Ryno's Wife, from Suburban DuPage Woman... Can you tell our readers who the sweatiest player was? The hairiest? The smelliest? The whiniest? Thank you for your consideration. it's probably all the same guy...