Quote:
Jason Goff body slammed me.
Nice - Well, Goff won't be there, so we'll have to have another hired gun to take you out, RW
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| CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=30460 |
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| Author: | hackwilson's ribbies [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Well, I guess that I should line up my excuses now, as I'm almost assured an embarrassing performance on Saturday... 1) I've only gone bowling twice in the last two years, and was pretty inconsistent, even though I have to admit that both times were on a date and I was kind-of "throwin' off" so I didn't make the young ladies feel bad. (Yeah, I know - "hack, you sure know how to impress women" - laugh all you want, I sealed the deal both times, and I'll take my button 48) 2) While I may look like a bowler because I have my own ball and shoes, I really am terrible - My stupid bitch of an ex made me get into a co-ed bowling league like three years in a row 'cuz she was a good bowler and had fun with it. Her mom bought me the bowling shoes and I got the ball as part of the league one year... 3) The bar may only have really crappy beer (i.e., Miller, Bud, PBR, Schlitz, etc.) and I really don't care if you clowns come outta the woodwork defending your damn Miller High Life - I'll choke it down, but it'll throw me off my game 'cuz it sucks, it gives me a different buzz and, well I'm just an annoying beer snob...Maybe I'll just go the whiskey route and call it a day a) I may be a bit too inebriated to bowl well if I'm drinkin' whiskey in earnest 4) I (attempt to) throw a hook with a ball that was drilled to be thrown as a straight-ball 5) I have a partially-torn rotator cuff that I kind-of aggravated at Hoops II Well, that's it for now, but I'll make sure I pass along additional excuses because I'm absolutely positive that they make for riveting reading material - lookin' forward to Saturday... |
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| Author: | Ryno's Wife [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Here are my pre-excuses: I tripped on an orange peel. The floor was too dusty. Jason Goff body slammed me. I was too drinky. I wasn't drinky enough. I have a blister on my thumb. My ball was too heavy. The lanes were too slick. The lanes weren't slick enough. I forgot how to keep score. I left my rosin bag at home. My shoes didn't slide. The back is acting up again. I can't see the arrows on the floor. There are no bumpers. The people on my team distracted me. |
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| Author: | hackwilson's ribbies [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Quote: Jason Goff body slammed me. Nice - Well, Goff won't be there, so we'll have to have another hired gun to take you out, RW
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| Author: | The Original Kid Cairo [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Jason Goff is RW's "baby daddy." |
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| Author: | Ryno's Wife [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
The Original Kid Cairo wrote: Jason Goff is RW's "baby daddy." Kid, do you still love me even though I am carrying another man's child? |
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| Author: | The Original Kid Cairo [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
If it were anybody's child other than Goff I'd say no. But that's Jason freakin Goff! The guy gets to see Dan Bernstein every day for God's sake! |
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| Author: | Ryno's Wife [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 4:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
The Original Kid Cairo wrote: If it were anybody's child other than Goff I'd say no. But that's Jason freakin Goff! The guy gets to see Dan Bernstein every day for God's sake! Sweet. You're the best guy a girl could ask for. I heart you. |
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| Author: | Frank Coztansa [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 5:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
The Original Kid Cairo wrote: If it were anybody's child other than Goff I'd say no. But that's Jason freakin Goff! The guy gets to see Dan Bernstein every day for God's sake! So does Boers. And probably Murph. |
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| Author: | doug - evergreen park [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 5:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
I'll bowl a 158 or a 98...just depends. |
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| Author: | Puckhead [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Ill probably stay around the low 200's so that I dont feel like such a showoff. |
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| Author: | Killer V [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Should we start a poll as to who the first person to fall down will be? (excluding Harry) |
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| Author: | Eaglo Jeff [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
DaMaNa.....or not. |
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| Author: | City of Fools [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
I will be the first one to: a)slip and fall b)bowl a 22 c)crack my wrist in the first game d)screw up the bowling scoring computer... |
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| Author: | Eaglo Jeff [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 6:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Who will be the first person to mention SHARK? |
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| Author: | Killer V [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
doug - evergreen park wrote: I'll bowl a 158 or a 98...just depends. Can you wear more than that please? |
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| Author: | W_Z [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
i'm fairly average to below average. |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
W_Z wrote: i'm fairly average to below average. Right, but how do you bowl? |
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| Author: | W_Z [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Darkside wrote: W_Z wrote: i'm fairly average to below average. Right, but how do you bowl? that's darkside, ladies and gentlemen, give him a big hand! 
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| Author: | Frank Coztansa [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Are we using monikers as names in the auto-scorer? I have one name that I always use, and no its not "poo" or "ass" |
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| Author: | Killer V [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 8:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
g-a-y? |
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| Author: | W_Z [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
i want "smokey". |
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| Author: | Hawkeye Vince [ Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Ryno's Wife wrote: Here are my pre-excuses: My ball was too heavy. You don't strike me as the type to complain about heavy balls. |
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| Author: | Ryno's Wife [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Hawkeye Vince wrote: Ryno's Wife wrote: Here are my pre-excuses: My ball was too heavy. You don't strike me as the type to complain about heavy balls. That's because the men I date never have them 
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| Author: | The Original Kid Cairo [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
You've been searching in all the wrong places then RW. |
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| Author: | Killer V [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
OKC, I'm pretty sure RW knows where to find the balls on a guy. |
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| Author: | Hawkeye Vince [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Killer V wrote: OKC, I'm pretty sure RW knows where to find the balls on a guy. ANother woman's purse? |
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| Author: | Ryno's Wife [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 10:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Hawkeye Vince wrote: Killer V wrote: OKC, I'm pretty sure RW knows where to find the balls on a guy. Another woman's purse? That's just Spanky's balls. I know where most of you boys keep them. |
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| Author: | doug - evergreen park [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
Killer V wrote: doug - evergreen park wrote: I'll bowl a 158 or a 98...just depends. Can you wear more than that please? what? |
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| Author: | Krazy Ivan [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
doug - evergreen park wrote: Killer V wrote: doug - evergreen park wrote: I'll bowl a 158 or a 98...just depends. Can you wear more than that please? what? depends = adult diapers Killer V is giving this 'funny' thing a try. Let's not discourage him... |
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| Author: | doug - evergreen park [ Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: CSFMB Bowling Event Excuse Thread for Crappy Bowlers |
ah...i get it. i'll turn off the "dick and shit" joke filter. |
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