It's been way overused lately and now it's malfunctioning, letting out constant short spurts and keeping me up the past few nights and annoying the hell out of my guests. Seriously, this problem is driving me crazy, and I fear leaking may soon occur. Any suggestions on how to fix it, other than just jiggling on the rod, which different guests keep trying (as if that's going to fix the whole problem)? I really hope it isn't permanently broken, especially after all the great use I've gotten out of it, but at this point I'm really not sure what to do and all the online sites only add to my confusion and worry.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Finally coming to grips with reality sweetie? best wishes to you and your lil man.

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They are real and they are spectacular!

That's a more pathetic ripoff of my material than Hedberg's was of Steven Wright's.

You take that back right now!

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Man Cairo, "Your whole routine is special effects. Later for you Bat-Head."

Awesome reference Matches!

"There's a bat in my house!"

"Batty, batty, batty!"

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

OKC I dont find this thread even remotely fucking funny.

Slump worsens.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

I see what you did there...



But I'm not Steven Wright. I'm the other half of the unfunniness.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

I actually laughed at a few of these...

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I didn't either. Good news is it was a lot better than some of his recent material. The arrow is pointing in the right direction.

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Hey, why did Big Fan kill the Steven Wright mult? It wasn't my mult, but the back-and-forth was kinda fun.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Now Hedburg looks insane with 5 straight posts.

Yeah. Makes me look like I went crazy yesterday.

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Kid Cairo's Boers & Bernstein YouTube Channel

Kid Cairo: 2013 March Madness Tournament Winner!

"Cowabunga? Cowa fucking piece of dog shit! This game is diarrhea coming out of my dick!"

Saw Hedburg at Zanies one NY eve. He was so fucked up, had to go back to his joke list on his cahir and had some standing troubles. Still an OK show, but just OK.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Yeah ... "look like" .... sure .......

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Steven Wright/Mitch Hedburg my ass...Here are a few of my random thoughts:

* When a male Smurf get's a lap dance, what kind of balls does that leave him with?


* I try to always do what my wife says but yesterday,I had a problem when "HELL" would not come up on my GPS!


* My friend says his wife was complaining sex does not last as long as when they first married. I told him to stop buying generic batteries for her vibrator!

* When they say: You will like her,she belongs to her church group! What they mean: She has a face that resembles Satan's Ass!

* ATTN WALMART: If everything you have is made in China,why are the greeters a bunch of old white guys? Get yourself some old chinese guys to greet America. After all,they have our manufacturing jobs. I wonder how you say "this f'ng cart is jammed" in Chinese?


* I'm old & out of touch: Does "friends with benefits" mean you get a Dental Plan with that Blow Job?

* Definition of an optimist:Guy asks a girl for her number,she says:F U,2!" He stares at her waiting for the other 4 digits!


** My wife and I practice passive sex: Everytime I ask for it,she tells me: "I'll take a pass!"

* My wife said I should stop looking at other women. She said they all have the same equipment. I told her:I guess thats explains why I drive a Taurus and not a Mercedes!


* I know I'm really getting old: I'm now getting bald patches on my back!

*Please send donations! I suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome(RLS). The other day I kicked my own ass!

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."