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Steven Wright/Mitch Hedburg my ass...Here are a few of my random thoughts:

* When a male Smurf get's a lap dance, what kind of balls does that leave him with?
Thats not terrible

* I try to always do what my wife says but yesterday,I had a problem when "HELL" would not come up on my GPS!
That is terrible. Just awful

* My friend says his wife was complaining sex does not last as long as when they first married. I told him to stop buying generic batteries for her vibrator!
Mildly amusing

* When they say: You will like her,she belongs to her church group! What they mean: She has a face that resembles Satan's Ass!
This is not only awful but non sensical. Im walking out of the club on this one.

* ATTN WALMART: If everything you have is made in China,why are the greeters a bunch of old white guys? Get yourself some old chinese guys to greet America. After all,they have our manufacturing jobs. I wonder how you say "this f'ng cart is jammed" in Chinese?
Meh

* I'm old & out of touch: Does "friends with benefits" mean you get a Dental Plan with that Blow Job?
I could see old people laughing at that

* Definition of an optimist:Guy asks a girl for her number,she says:F U,2!" He stares at her waiting for the other 4 digits!
Booooooo

** My wife and I practice passive sex: Everytime I ask for it,she tells me: "I'll take a pass!"
Teinoiwizcian

* My wife said I should stop looking at other women. She said they all have the same equipment. I told her:I guess thats explains why I drive a Taurus and not a Mercedes!
Not bad.

* I know I'm really getting old: I'm now getting bald patches on my back!
Old rednecks would like that

*Please send donations! I suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome(RLS). The other day I kicked my own ass!
HA...just kidding that was bad

Author:	The Original Kid Cairo [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:11 am ]
Post subject:	My Nut Sack
It's been way overused lately and now it's malfunctioning, letting out constant short spurts and keeping me up the past few nights and annoying the hell out of my guests. Seriously, this problem is driving me crazy, and I fear leaking may soon occur. Any suggestions on how to fix it, other than just jiggling on the rod, which different guests keep trying (as if that's going to fix the whole problem)? I really hope it isn't permanently broken, especially after all the great use I've gotten out of it, but at this point I'm really not sure what to do and all the online sites only add to my confusion and worry.

Author:	good dolphin [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:20 am ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack

Author:	Don Tiny [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack

Author:	Juggs [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 9:05 am ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
Finally coming to grips with reality sweetie? best wishes to you and your lil man.

Author:	Fixed Glee [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 10:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
That's a more pathetic ripoff of my material than Hedberg's was of Steven Wright's.

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My Nut Sack https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=47029	Page 1 of 1

Author:	Matches Malone [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 2:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
Man Cairo, "Your whole routine is special effects. Later for you Bat-Head."

Author:	RFDC [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 2:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
OKC I dont find this thread even remotely fucking funny. Slump worsens.

Author:	spmack [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 7:05 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
I actually laughed at a few of these...

Author:	HOVA [ Thu Jun 10, 2010 7:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
RFDC wrote: OKC I dont find this thread even remotely fucking funny. Slump worsens. I didn't either. Good news is it was a lot better than some of his recent material. The arrow is pointing in the right direction.

Author:	The Original Kid Cairo [ Fri Jun 11, 2010 7:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
Hey, why did Big Fan kill the Steven Wright mult? It wasn't my mult, but the back-and-forth was kinda fun.

Author:	rogers park bryan [ Fri Jun 11, 2010 8:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
The Original Kid Cairo wrote: Hey, why did Big Fan kill the Steven Wright mult? It wasn't my mult, but the back-and-forth was kinda fun. Now Hedburg looks insane with 5 straight posts.

Author:	bigfan [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
Saw Hedburg at Zanies one NY eve. He was so fucked up, had to go back to his joke list on his cahir and had some standing troubles. Still an OK show, but just OK.

Author:	Don Tiny [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:12 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
The Original Kid Cairo wrote: Yeah. Makes me look like I went crazy yesterday. Yeah ... "look like" .... sure .......

Author:	jimmypasta [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 2:28 am ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
Steven Wright/Mitch Hedburg my ass...Here are a few of my random thoughts: * When a male Smurf get's a lap dance, what kind of balls does that leave him with? * I try to always do what my wife says but yesterday,I had a problem when "HELL" would not come up on my GPS! * My friend says his wife was complaining sex does not last as long as when they first married. I told him to stop buying generic batteries for her vibrator! * When they say: You will like her,she belongs to her church group! What they mean: She has a face that resembles Satan's Ass! * ATTN WALMART: If everything you have is made in China,why are the greeters a bunch of old white guys? Get yourself some old chinese guys to greet America. After all,they have our manufacturing jobs. I wonder how you say "this f'ng cart is jammed" in Chinese? * I'm old & out of touch: Does "friends with benefits" mean you get a Dental Plan with that Blow Job? * Definition of an optimist:Guy asks a girl for her number,she says:F U,2!" He stares at her waiting for the other 4 digits! ** My wife and I practice passive sex: Everytime I ask for it,she tells me: "I'll take a pass!" * My wife said I should stop looking at other women. She said they all have the same equipment. I told her:I guess thats explains why I drive a Taurus and not a Mercedes! * I know I'm really getting old: I'm now getting bald patches on my back! *Please send donations! I suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome(RLS). The other day I kicked my own ass!

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Author:	rogers park bryan [ Wed Jun 16, 2010 6:56 am ]
Post subject:	Re: My Nut Sack
jimmypasta wrote: Steven Wright/Mitch Hedburg my ass...Here are a few of my random thoughts: * When a male Smurf get's a lap dance, what kind of balls does that leave him with? Thats not terrible * I try to always do what my wife says but yesterday,I had a problem when "HELL" would not come up on my GPS! That is terrible. Just awful * My friend says his wife was complaining sex does not last as long as when they first married. I told him to stop buying generic batteries for her vibrator! Mildly amusing * When they say: You will like her,she belongs to her church group! What they mean: She has a face that resembles Satan's Ass! This is not only awful but non sensical. Im walking out of the club on this one. * ATTN WALMART: If everything you have is made in China,why are the greeters a bunch of old white guys? Get yourself some old chinese guys to greet America. After all,they have our manufacturing jobs. I wonder how you say "this f'ng cart is jammed" in Chinese? Meh * I'm old & out of touch: Does "friends with benefits" mean you get a Dental Plan with that Blow Job? I could see old people laughing at that * Definition of an optimist:Guy asks a girl for her number,she says:F U,2!" He stares at her waiting for the other 4 digits! Booooooo ** My wife and I practice passive sex: Everytime I ask for it,she tells me: "I'll take a pass!" Teinoiwizcian * My wife said I should stop looking at other women. She said they all have the same equipment. I told her:I guess thats explains why I drive a Taurus and not a Mercedes! Not bad. * I know I'm really getting old: I'm now getting bald patches on my back! Old rednecks would like that *Please send donations! I suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome(RLS). The other day I kicked my own ass! HA...just kidding that was bad Overall not as bad as I thought.