Any sugggestions, connections, helpful hints or words of encouragement would be appreciated


And if you have a relatively low mileage car (50k-70k) youre looking to sell honestly PM Me.


Im being pushed into buying earlier than I want by the emissions test. Too many miles to spend cream on a catalytic converter



Thanks in advance!

I don't have suggestions, and the last time someone around here was advertising they were buying a car, it turned into a 10 page thread.

All I say is good luck, and I know some people who have had great success at CarMax.

_________________

I agree. Carmax is where I bought my car, and it was great. Nice and easy.

_________________

I'll also vote for Carmax. We have 2 from there.

But....if you're a Score listener, you should know that "drivechicago.com is the best place to go to find a new or used car"

Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards,

Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Joel McCrary (as Don), and Patrick

Warburton (as Puddy).



[Setting: A car dealership]

(Jerry and George are looking over some cars)

GEORGE: When are they gonna have the flying cars, already?

JERRY: Yeah, they have been promising that for a while..

GEORGE: Years. When we were kids, they made it seem like it was right around the corner.

JERRY: I think Ed Begley Jr. has one.

GEORGE: No. That's just electric.

JERRY: What about Harrison Ford? He had one in, uh, Blade Runner. That was a cool one.

GEORGE: (Sarcastic) What's the competition, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

JERRY: Well, what do you think the big holdup is?

GEORGE: The government is very touchy about us being in the air. Let us run around on the ground as much as we want. Anything in the air is a big production.

JERRY: Yeah, right. And what about the floating cities?

GEORGE: And the underwater bubble cities?

JERRY: It's like we're living in the '50s here.

(Kramer’s bouncing up and down on the rear bumper of one of the cars for sale)

KRAMER: It's good suspension!

JERRY: (To Kramer) Would you stop it? You'll have plenty of time to destroy it after I get it. Hey, George, I'm buyin' this car. (Gestures to a black Saab)

GEORGE: What is wrong with you? You never tell 'em you like the car. (Advising) You're not sure what you want. You don't even know why you're here.

JERRY: (Talking about the vein in George’s head) There's that vein again.

GEORGE: I'm starving. We should have had lunch first..

JERRY: (Trying to quiet George down) It'll be twenty minutes. I told ya, Puddy's getting me an insider deal.

GEORGE: Since when is Elaine's boyfriend selling cars? I thought he was a mechanic.

JERRY: I guess he graduated.

GEORGE: That's an easy move: go from screwin' you behind your back to screwin' you right to your face.

(Kramer, in one of the cars, honks the horn)

JERRY: (To Kramer) Thank you.

GEORGE: Puddy’s just gonna give you the car, huh? (Skeptic) You’ll see. First they stick you with the undercoating, rust-proofing, dealer prep. Sudeenly, you’re

on your back like a turnip.

JERRY: Alright. Calm down.

GEORGE: My father had a car salesman buddy. He was gonna fix him up real nice. Next thing I know, I’m gettin’ dropped of in a Le Car with a fabric sunroof. All

the kids are shoutin’ at me, "Hey, Le George! Bonjour, Le George! Let’s stuff Le George in Le Locker!"

(Kramer’s now on his back, under a car)

KRAMER: Jerry, I don’t think this thing is hooked up right.

(Jerry and George go to enter the office buildings)

JERRY: (To Kramer) Alright, we’re goin’ in.

(A salesman walks up to Kramer. He’s still under the car)

SALESMAN: You’ve got a good eye, there. I see you’ve noticed the uni-body construction. I’m Rick. Are you looking to buy or lease?

(Kramer emerges from under the car)

KRAMER: Uh, borrow. It’s for my friend. Yeah, he’ll be buying..

RICK: Maybe I should talk to him.

KRAMER: Oh, I don’t think so. No, he’s an entertainer. You know, all over the place. That’s where I come in.

RICK: I see. So, you’re his manag-

(Kramer hops into the car)

KRAMER: Yeah, neighbor. That’s right. Yeah, why don’t we take this boiler out for a shakedown?

(Scene cuts to the insides of the dealership building. Jerry and George are waiting for a salesman to assist them)

GEORGE: Look at these salesmen. The only thing these guys fear is the walk-out. No matter what they say, you say, "I’ll walk out of here right now!"

(A salesman approaches)

SALESMAN: Can I help you with something?

GEORGE: (Threatening) Hold it! One more step and we’re walkin’!

JERRY: (Scolding) George. (To salesman) Sorry, we’re just waiting for David Puddy.

GEORGE: (Still with a tone) He is. You don’t know what I’m doin’ here.

(Elaine walks into the showroom with David Puddy)

ELAINE: Hey.

JERRY: Hey.

PUDDY: Sorry I’m late.

ELAINE: (Full of pride) My new salesman boyfriend took me out to celebrate his promotion.

JERRY: Ah. Where’d you go?

ELAINE: (Obviously embarrassed) Uh, to a restaurant.

PUDDY: Arby’s.

ELAINE: I had the roast beef..

JERRY: So, Puddy, I decided I’m gonna go with another 900 convertible.

PUDDY: Alright. Classic. (Holds his hand up) High-five.

ELAINE: (Interrupting) David, can you tell me where the Xerox machine is?

PUDDY: Oh, sure, babe. Salesman-only copy room (Points) right there.

ELAINE: Oh. (Leaves for the room)

PUDDY: (To Jerry and George) Hey, come on, guys. I’ll show you the 900.

GEORGE: (Mocking, skeptic) Yeah, you show us the 900.

(Scene cuts to Kramer. He’s in the car with the salesman, Rick, and they’re driving an unknown street)

RICK: .. And look at these features, Mr. Kramer: Anti-lock breaks, automatic climate control. Uh, (Points out the windshield) make a right at this corner, please.

(Goes back to the features) Adjustable steering wheel, and.. Oh, Mr. Kramer, you missed the turn..

KRAMER: No. No, I didn’t.

RICK: Well, that’s okay. (Pointing) We’ll make this next right, and swing around to get back to the dealership.

KRAMER: (Up to something) Well, it’s a test drive, right? I never drive around here. If I’m gonna recommend this car, I need to see that it’ll handle my daily

routine.

RICK: So where are we going?

KRAMER: Just a little place I like to call, "You’ll see".

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Puddy’s office]

(George and Jerry are in conference with Puddy)

GEORGE: I’m starving. You got any of those free donuts you use to soften people up?

PUDDY: (Pointing out his office door) By the service department.

GEORGE: (Getting up, he addresses Jerry) Alright, remember: no rust-proofing. Commit to nothing. If you have to speak - mumble.

JERRY: (As George is leaving for the donuts) Au revoir, Le George.

GEORGE: Don’t think it can’t happen! (Leaves)

JERRY: So, Puddy, this is a pretty good move for you, huh? No more "grease monkey".

PUDDY: I don’t care for that term.

JERRY: Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know..

PUDDY: No, I don’t know too many monkeys who could take apart a fuel injector.

JERRY: I saw one once that could do sign language.

PUDDY: Yeah, I saw that one. Uh.. Koko.

JERRY: Yeah, Koko.

PUDDY: Right, Koko. That chimp’s alright. (Holds up his hand) High-five.

(Returning, George sees Jerry reluctantly slap hands with Puddy)

GEORGE: Hey, hey, hey! What’s goin’ on here? (To Jerry) You didn’t agree to anything, did ya?

JERRY: No. We both just saw the same monkey.

GEORGE: (Aggravated) Well, I got screwed on the donuts. There were none left.

PUDDY: (Standing up) Well, there’s a vending machine. I could show you where it is. (Leaves, showing George the way)

GEORGE: (To Jerry) Hey, gimme a dollar.

JERRY: (Getting a dollar out) Where’s your money?

GEORGE: (Talking it) I’m here helpin’ you.

(Elaine enters)

ELAINE: Hey. Where’s Puddy? The copy machine is broken.

GEORGE: (On his way out) Heh, heh, heh. That’s what they want you to think.

JERRY: Hey, Elaine, have you noticed your boyfriend has developed an annoying little habit?

ELAINE: (Squints, imitating Puddy) The squinting?

JERRY: No.

ELAINE: (Stares ahead, again, imitating Puddy) The staring?

JERRY: No. He keeps asking me to give him a high-five.

ELAINE: I thought all guys do that.

JERRY: Slapping hands is the lowest form of male primate ritual. In fact, even some of them have moved on - they’re using sign language now.

ELAINE: Is that bad?

JERRY: What do you think the Nazis were doin’? (Imitates the Nazi’s salute) That was the heil-five.

ELAINE: (Pointing out) Isn’t that from your act, like, ten years ago?

JERRY: (Slightly embarrassed) It was a good bit in the ‘80’s, and it’s still relatable today.

(Puddy approaches them)

PUDDY: Good news. We got a 900 in black. That’s the hot color. (Holds up his hand) High-five.

(Elaine and Jerry exchange looks)

ELAINE: Um, David, you know what? Can you come help me fix the copy machine?

(Elaine takes Puddy’s arm, leading him to the room)

PUDDY: (Pointing at Jerry) You owe me five.

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership back room]

(George is eyeing a Twix candy bar through the vending machine glass)

GEORGE: Twix.. (Makes various noises) B-5.

(George put in his dollar, but the machine rejects it. He tries to jam it in, same result. He tries one more time - unsuccessful)

GEORGE: Ah, come on!

(A heavy-set mechanic approaches and stands in line behind George to use the vending machine. George steps back to let him use it. The machine readily accepts

the mechanic’s dollar)

GEORGE: Ah, excuse me. Do you have change of a dollar?

MECHANIC: (While retrieving his candy) No.

GEORGE: Could I, uh, could I trade you for another dollar?

MECHANIC: (While walking away) Don’t have one.

GEORGE: (Stopping him) Excuse me. When your, uh, when your wallet was open, I glanced inside, and I couldn’t help but notice that you had several crisp dollar

bills.

MECHANIC: (Calm) You’re incorrect.

GEORGE: (Persistent) Perhaps you could look again, please? I’m very hungry.

MECHANIC: (While taking his exit) We had donuts earlier.

GEORGE: (Losing it) I guess everyone here enjoys giving the old screwgie, huh?! You’re all doin’ a hell of a job! (Looks longingly at the Twix in the machine) Ho,

ho. What I would do with you..

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership car]

(Rick and Kramer are still on the test-drive. The back seat is filled with various items - those including a giant, stuffed Tweety bird)

RICK: Mr. Kramer, we’re really not allowed to use the cars to run errands.

KRAMER: No, look, Rick. I’m very close to giving this car, that my celebrity friend is considering, my full endorsement. (Looks out the window) Oooh, Let’s see if

I can get a smile from these femininas.. (Yells out to them) Hey, Ladies! (Points to the car) It’s the Saab 900! What do you think? Can I interest you in a little

supplemental restraint?! (They obviously do something to offend him. Kramer reacts with a face) Geeze..

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership back room]

(Jerry walks up to the vending machine. George is on his stomach, reaching under the vending machine for change)

JERRY: (Tapping the door you lift to retrieve your candy on the machine) I think the candy comes out over there.

GEORGE: People can drop change down here, Jerry. And they’re too lazy to pick it up.

JERRY: Either that, or they’ve got a little hang-up about lying face-down in filth. Why don’t you just go to the cashier?

(George gets up)

GEORGE: The cashier is at lunch - which is where I’d like to be.

JERRY: How much was under there?

GEORGE: (Looking at his finger) I think somethin’ bit me. I just need another nickel.

JERRY: (While fishing through his pocket for change) Hey, Puddy thinks I should go for the CD player. What do you think? (Hands him a nickel)

GEORGE: Ho, ho, ho! He’s got a live one. He’s just reeling his big fish in!

JERRY: Hey, can I have my dollar back?

GEORGE: (Stingy) It’s wrinkled. It’s worthless.

(Jerry gives George a look, then leaves. George hurriedly puts the money into the machine)

GEORGE: (As the Twix starts to move) Ha, ha, ha, ha! (The Twix gets stuck in the spindle right before falling. George begins to pound the machine) Come on!

Jump!

(A man holding a donut walks past George)

MAN: They just put out some more donuts.

GEORGE: They did?

MAN: (Holding his up) Last one.

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership car]

(Kramer’s still on the road with Rick)

KRAMER: Well, just one more errand and we can head back.

RICK: Actually, it looks like we’re gonna need some gas.

KRAMER: Oh? Well, how much gas do you think is in there right now?

RICK: (Looking) Well, it’s on "E".

KRAMER: You know, uh, oftentimes, Jerry - he lend me his car and I find myself in a situation where the car is almost out of gas. But, for a variety of reasons, I

don’t want to be the one responsible for purchasing costly gasoline.

RICK: (Pointing out) So, you want to know how far you can drive your friend’s car for free.

KRAMER: (In the spotlight, his voice goes high) Well, I make it up to him in other ways.

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership back room]

(George enters with a salesman, regarding the machine)

GEORGE: As you will see, the candy bar is paid for, and yet, remains dangling in the machine. (Notices that the Twix slot is completely empty) Hey, it’s gone.

Where is my Twix? (Quickly looks around. His sights fall on the window of a door labeled "Employees Only". The same mechanic from before is eating a candy bar)

What?! That guy’s eatin’ it!

SALESMAN: Well, how do you know that one’s yours?

GEORGE: Uh, it was dangling! There were only two left in the machine! He must’ve bought one, and gotten both.

SALESMAN: Sir, are you gonna buy a car?

GEORGE: No! (The salesman walks away. He addresses the mechanic through the door’s window) Hey! Hey! I can see you! That is my Twix! (The mechanic eats

the last of the Twix, obviously to make George even more angered. It works) Oh, ha, ha! Ho, ho!

(Scene cuts to Puddy in the copy room with Elaine. He’s trying to fix the Xerox machine)

PUDDY: Paper jam.. Got it! (Holds his hand up) High-five. (Elaine reluctantly slaps it. He turns around, and puts his hand out behind his back) On the flip side.

ELAINE: David, um, I..

PUDDY: (Still holding out his hand) Don’t leave me hangin’

ELAINE: You’re a salesman now - and the high-five is.. it’s very grease monkey.

PUDDY: What did I tell you about that?

ELAINE: I’m sorry, but the high-five is just so stupid.

PUDDY: (Somewhat hurt) Oh yeah? I’ll tell you what’s stupid. You. Stupid.

ELAINE: Well, that is really mature.

PUDDY: Yeah? So are you.

ELAINE: Huh?

PUDDY: You’re the grease monkey.

ELAINE: (Confused at David’s attempts at a comeback) Uh.. that doesn’t make any sense. I am leaving.

PUDDY: Yeah, if you leave, we’re through.

ELAINE: Fine! We’re through!

PUDDY; Oh, so you’re leaving?

ELAINE: (While leaving) That’s right. (Mocking Puddy, she puts her hand up) High-five! (Turns around, putting her hand behind her back like he had done) On the

flip side! (As Elaine is leaving, she mutters to herself) Takin’ me to Arby’s..

JERRY: (Sees Elaine leaving) Hey! Wh-where are you..?

(She exits. Puddy sits down at his desk - disturbed)

PUDDY: Let’s finish this up.

JERRY: Did you two break up?

PUDDY: (While punching up numbers on a calculator) That chick’s whacked. We’re history. (Back to the transaction) I just left out a couple of things:

rust-proofing..

JERRY: "Rust-proofing"?

PUDDY: (Reading off what he’s adding up on the calculator) Transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finder’s fee

JERRY: "Finder’s fee"? It was on the lot!

PUDDY: Yeah, that’s right. (Continues reading off) Floor mats, keys..

JERRY: ‘Keys"?!

PUDDY: How ya gonna start it?

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership’s shop]

(George catches up with the portly mechanic)

GEORGE: Excuse me. I believe you just ate my Twix bar. It was dangling. And when you purchased your Twix bar, you got a little freebie, and you never bothered

to ask why, or seek out its rightful owner.

MECHANIC: First of all, it wasn’t a Twix. It was a 5th Avenue bar.

GEORGE: Huh. You must think I’m pretty stupid. That was no 5th Avenue bar. I can see the crumb right there in the corner of your lip! Now, that-that-that is a

cookie - and we all know Twix is the only candy bar with the cookie crunch.

MECHANIC: Yeah, it’s just a little nougat.

GEORGE: Nougat? Please. I think I’ve reached the point in my life where I can tell between nougat and cookie. So, let’s not just say things that are obvious

fabrications.

MECHANIC: (Pointing to George’s forehead) You know, you’re gettin’ a little vein there..

GEORGE: (Watching the mechanic leave) I know about the vein! I can’t believe this guy..

(Jerry rushes in with a box of candy)

JERRY: Hey, George!

GEORGE: Hey, starving! (Grabs the box from Jerry)

JERRY: No, last one. Listen, you gotta help me out. Elaine and Puddy just broke up, he’s treatin’ me just like a regular customer, now!

GEORGE: I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen. No, ho, ho! You were gonna get a deal, huh? There’s now laws in this place. Anything goes! It’s

Thunderdome!

(A saleswoman approaches them)

SALESWOMAN: Is someone helping you?

(Jerry and George quickly avoid her by leaving the room)

GEORGE: Stay back!

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership car]

RICK: (Trying to look at the gas gauge) Where is it now?

KRAMER: There’s still some overlap between the needle and the slash below the "E".

RICK: How long are you gonna go?

KRAMER: Oh, I’ve been in the slash many times. This is nothing. You’ll get used to it. Just, (Makes a popping sound) get it out of your mind.

RICK: Have you ever been completely below the slash?

KRAMER: Well, I almost did once, and I blacked out. When I came to, the car was in a ditch, and the tank was full. I don’t know who did it, and I never got to

thank them..

RICK: (As the car slowly drifts off the road) Mr. Kramer, the road!

(Kramer swerves around, trying to get back in place)

KRAMER: Whoop! Whoop!

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Puddy’s office]

(Jerry and George are in conference)

JERRY: (Threatening tone) So, listen, Puddy. When we first started this deal, I thought things were gonna be different. Now, if you want to play hard ball, I got my

friend, George, here, and he can play pretty hard.. ball. (Leaving the negotiation to George) George, vein it up.

GEORGE: Alright, Puddy, listen, and listen good: I need to know the name of that mechanic that walks around here. Big guy, a liar. Short name. Sam? Moe? Sol?!

JERRY: George! Can we focus on the car, here?

GEORGE: I’m starving! I can feel my stomach sucking up against my spine.

PUDDY: (Handing a sheet of paper to Jerry) Jerry, I just need your signature, here, and we’ll get you that yellow car ready to go.

JERRY: Yellow? I wanted black.

PUDDY: I can’t give you black at that price.

JERRY: (Pleading) George, could you help me, please?

GEORGE: (Standing up) Yes. This is wrong!

JERRY: Sing it, sister!

GEORGE: Just because a candy bar fails to fall from its perch..!

JERRY: (Exasperated) Uhhh..

GEORGE: (Losing it) ..does not imply transfer of ownership. Moe, Sol, or… Lem is not gonna get away with this!

(Jerry follows George out the office)

JERRY: (To Puddy) I’ll be right back.

PUDDY: Okay.

(Jerry catches up with George)

JERRY: Hey, George!

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership car]

(The needle is now below "E". Rick is looking at it)

RICK: Is it just the angle I’m looking from?

KRAMER: No, Sir. We are down there.

RICK: Oh, this is amazing! Oh, I’ve never felt so alive!

KRAMER: Yeah, well, alright. I’m satisfied. We better get some gas.

RICK: What? Well, we can’t stop now.

KRAMER: What do you mean?

RICK: We have to keep going - all the way back to the dealership. That was the plan.

KRAMER: There was no plan.

RICK: Well, let’s make it the plan! Let’s just.. go for it! Like Thelma and Louise.

KRAMER: What, they drove to a dealership?

RICK: No, they drove off a cliff.

(Kramer eyes Rick, frightened)

KRAMER: You are one sick mama.. I like it.

RICK: Mr. Kramer, the road!

(Kramer swerves around again)

KRAMER: Yup! Yup!

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Elaine’s apartment]

(Phone rings, she answers it)

ELAINE: Hello?

JERRY: (Over the phone) Elaine, you’ve got to get back down to the dealer. Puddy is screwin’ me on this car, which is yellow now!

ELAINE: (Jokingly mimicking Jerry) Who is this?

JERRY: (Banging the phone against the booth) Elaine!

(Elaine flinches with every loud banging noise)

ELAINE: What?!

JERRY: You gotta get back together with Puddy so I can make this deal.

ELAINE: (Sarcastic) You know, just that you cared enough to call means so much, Jerry.

JERRY: You’re gonna get back together, anyway. It’s thousands of dollars!

ELAINE: Oh, I don’t know..

JERRY: Come on. Then you don’t have to see him again ‘til my 15,000-mile check.

ELAINE: Well, will you pay my cab fare out there?

JERRY: Fine.

ELAINE: And I didn’t like that roast beef, so how ‘bout some lunch?

JERRY: No. No lunch.

ELAINE: I’ll hang the phone up right now!

JERRY: Alright! Lunch!

ELAINE: I’ll see ya. (Hanging up the phone)

JERRY: Bye. (Hangs up)

JERRY: (Frustrated, he reacts) Everybody’s ripping me off!

(Scene cuts to George at the customer complaint window)

GEORGE: I’d like to report a problem with one of your mechanics.

WILLIE: When did you bring the car in?

GEORGE: (To the man behind him in line) Yeah right.. I’m gonna get my car repaired at a dealership. Huh! Why don’t I just flush my money down the toilet?

WILLIE: Sir, what, exactly, is the problem?

GEORGE: One of your guys - Kip, or Ned, short name - stole my Twix candy bar!

WILLIE: Are you saying he grabbed the candy bar away from you?

GEORGE: He might as well have! I caught him, and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs.

WILLIE: I thought you said it was a Twix.

GEORGE: Oh, it was. But he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar.

WILLIE: Maybe it was.

GEORGE: Oh, no, no. Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch.

WILLIE: What about the $100,000 bar?

GEORGE: No. Rice and caramel.

WILLIE: Nougat?

GEORGE: No.

WILLIE: Positive?

GEORGE: Please.

(A woman appears from behind the window)

WOMAN: You know they changed the name from $100,000 bar to 100 Grand?

GEORGE: All I want is my seventy-five cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired!

(An old man sitting in a nearby chair speaks up. He’s Willie’s father)

WILLIE SR: I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel.

(The man behind George speaks up)

MAN: What’s the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial?

GEORGE: They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial!

WILLIE SR: Not Skittles.

WILLIE: Dad, I told you you could sit here only if you don’t talk.

WOMAN: (Sitting behind George) You make your father sit here all day?

WILLIE: He likes it!

GEORGE: Alright! Do you mind? I have the window! (To Willie) Now, what are you gonna do about my Twix?

MAN: (In line behind George) Twix has too much coconut.

GEORGE: No! There’s no coconut!

WOMAN: (Behind service window) I’m allergic to coconut.

WILLIE: I’m not.

WILLIE SR: ..A nickel!

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership office showroom]

(Elaine enters, and hands Jerry the receipt for her cab)

ELAINE: Cab receipt. Hey, Puddy.

PUDDY: I’m with a customer.

(Elaine throws up her hands, giving a face of dissatisfaction, and starts to walk away)

ELAINE: Uh..

JERRY: No, no. No, Elaine, the car can wait. What’s important is you two getting back together. Eh, then we’ll talk about the car.

PUDDY: (Like a kid) I don’t want to get back with her. She’s too bossy.

ELAINE: (Raising her finger at him, in an authoritative tone) David..

JERRY: Okay. Now, I know this is an important decision. Why don’t we all just sit down and talk about it? Come on, come on. Now, look, you both find each

other attractive, right?

ELAINE AND PUDDY: Right.

JERRY: Clearly, no one else can stand to be with either one of you..

ELAINE: I guess.

PUDDY: Good point.

JERRY: (Smiling, like a salesman) Alright. Now, what do I have to do to put you two in a relationship today?

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Gas station]

(Kramer pulls the car into a gas station and gets out)

KRAMER: Cars can go on empty, but not us humans, huh, fella? I’ll get us a couple of Twix bars.

RICK: No, no coconut for me.

KRAMER: Alright, I’ll get ya a Mounds bar. Keep the engine running.

(Rick sits back in the car a second, then hurriedly jumps out and reaches for the gas pump. Kramer pops up from behind the pump and scares him)

RICK: Ahh!

KRAMER: No, man! Not the gas!

RICK: But it needs it, Kramer! It needs it bad!

KRAMER: Do you think that this’ll make you happy? ‘Cause it won’t!

RICK: (Walking away) Ah, you can just go on without me.

(Kramer grabs him by the collar)

KRAMER: Listen to me. When that car rolls into that dealership, and that tank is bone dry, I want you to be there with me when everyone says, "Kramer and that

other guy, oh, they went further to the left of the slash than anyone ever dreamed!"

(The car makes puttering noises)

RICK: Maybe we better get moving.

KRAMER: It’s good to have you back, Stan.

(Both hop into the car)

RICK: It’s Rick, by the way.

KRAMER: No time!

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership’s customer service room]

WILLIE: Mr. Costanza, I really don’t have time for this.

GEORGE: Now, if this mechanic guy, was, in fact, eating a 5th Avenue bar, as he claimed, wouldn’t you agree he would have no problem picking one out from a

candy line-up?

WILLIE: "Candy line-up"?

GEORGE: I’ve spent the last hour preparing ten candy bars with no wrappers of identification of any kind for him to select from.

WILLIE: It took you an hour?

GEORGE: Only I hold the answer key to their true candy identities. And so, without further ado, I give you.. the candy line-up. (Opens a door to a back room.

Various dealership employees are munching on candy bars)

SALESWOMAN: Hey, Willie, check it out! Free candy!

GEORGE: That’s my candy line-up! Where are all my cards?! They’re - they’re all on the floor!

(George starts picking up the numbered cards from off the floor. He sees the mechanic eating one of the candy bars)

GEORGE: And you! How many Twix does that make for you, today?! Like, 8 Twix?!

MECHANIC: No.

MAN: Hey, this Clark bar is good.

GEORGE: It’s a Twix! They’re all Twix! It was a setup! A setup, I tell ya! And you’ve robbed it! You’ve all screwed me again! Now, gimme one! Gimme a Twix!

MECHANIC: They’re all gone.

GEORGE: (Yelling out, frustrated. The camera spins from a top angle) Ttttttwwwwiiiiiixxxxx!

(Scene cuts to Elaine, Puddy and Jerry, all in conference)

ELAINE: What was that?

PUDDY: There’s a mental hospital right near here.

JERRY: Alright. Elaine, David, I believe we have a deal here in principle: Arby’s - no more than once a month. In exchange, Elaine comes to your softball game, and

doesn’t read a book.

ELAINE: (While looking over the contract Jerry just drew up) Yeah, well, that’s not bad.

PUDDY: I can live with that.

JERRY: So, you’re back together?

PUDDY: Yeah.

(Jerry sees them stare at each other, smiling)

JERRY: Alright, alright. Alright, that’s enough! Let’s get back to my deal. That undercoating, that’s just a rip-off, isn’t it, David?

PUDDY: Oh, we don’t even know what it is.

JERRY: So, I’m gettin’ the insider’s deal?

PUDDY: Insider’s deal. (Holds up his hand) High-five.

(Jerry gives a face of resentment)

(Scene ends)

[Setting: Dealership car]

(Rick and Kramer are driving back to the dealership)

RICK: (Seeing the turn-off up ahead) There’s the dealer!

KRAMER: Hey!

RICK: We did! We pulled it off! I can’t believe it! Where’s the needle?

KRAMER: Oh, it broke off, baby! Woo, hoo, hoo!

RICK: Oh, Mr. Kramer, I gotta thank you. I - I learned a lot. Things are gonna be different for me now.

KRAMER: Well, that’s a weird thing to say..

RICK: I wonder how much longer we could have lasted.

KRAMER: Yeah, yeah. I wonder.. hmm.

(They both eye each other, then Kramer slams on the gas, attempting to go even longer. They both cheer and scream out)

(Scene ends)

[Setting: NYC Cab]

(Elaine, George, and Jerry are riding home in a cab)

ELAINE: This is nice. What kind of car is this?

CABBIE: Caprice Classic.

ELAINE: (To Jerry) You couldn’t just give him one high-five?

JERRY: And where does it end? Then, everyone’s doin’ it. It’s like the wave at ball games. Air quotes. The phrase, "Don’t go there." - Someone’s gotta take a

stand!

GEORGE: (Munching on a hamburger) This Arby’s is good.

ELAINE: So, George, I still don’t understand - how was that a setup?

JERRY: And who were you tryin’ to set up, anyway? The mechanic or the manager?

GEORGE: (In the spotlight) I don’t know. All of ‘em. They’re all crooks! Besides, I couldn’t get all different candy bars, anyway.

(Kramer and Rick speed by the cab in the Saab - both screaming and yelling)

GEORGE: What was that?

JERRY: I think there’s a mental hospital near here.

ELAINE: Very near.

(Scene cuts to Kramer and Rick. Still yelling, they slowly come to a stop)

KRAMER: Whew! Well, I think we stopped.

RICK: You - you can probably let go of my hand now.

KRAMER: Oh, yeah. (Getting out of the car) Well, I’ll think about it..

RICK: Do you have my card?





END OF SHOW.

_________________
"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Lyrics to Sound The Horns :

(feat. Sadat X)

[Intro: Inspectah Deck]
Yeah, yeah...
Yeah, yeah...
Let's go...
Yeah, listen...

[Inspectah Deck]
The sound of the horns says it's on
We storm through like C. Thomas, Red Dawn
Step like a don through the city, Deck bonds
I get my hands dirty, Nikes scuffed, sweat pouring
Still I stay fresh with the fly white linen
Duece times 5, that's my type women
Sonny, I live it, O-10, S5 tinted
Brother Deck, what I rep, S.I., dig it?
Fifty cal' flow, get low
Intro to outro, bout it tho, whoa
Steady, heavy like the 5-2 Chevy
Niggas ain't ready, I turn out your lights like Teddy
Roll like dice in the casino
Known to spit lava, Heat like DeNiro and Pacino
Manny Festo, Wu-Tang Gambino
Lay it down, then I fly off like the hero

"Wu-Tang!"
"Wu-Tang!"

[Sadat X]
The Wild Cowboy number one
G-O-D, how you gonna block out the son?
Read my jacket, my achievements stretch like a warning track catch
The in-crazable voice box, I throw you boys rocks
Diamonds and jewels, a holiday, pros that fuck in schools
I'm a tank, I stop panthers, take down stanzas
Sixteen bars, keep the car running
Broads stunting, feed ya self, kill ya self, take the pill
Punks jump up to get beat down
New York the sweet town I sorta, who's on tour?
Who the vile, truth can say, you ain't a slouch
Now Rule local, now I'm B.K. vocal
Right out the X, you can work out your pecs and your back
Can beat the death with bats, need to tune up, NJ'll turn the tune up
I'mma tell you who's soon enough to got
And I ain't down with getting crossed, and I never been the boss

"Wu-Tang!"

[U-God]
Yo, you're hog-tied, I'm roping them, bitches, I'm gropping them
Open up your veins, cop three bags of Dopium
Super soak these niggas, stroke with the magnum force
Leak it in the streets quick, peep my secret sauce
I keep it gloss, I'm suited up for my franchise
Your coins is tossed, man-handle bad guys
Scramble for my damn prize, crack cans of cold Guinness
I'm like Seabiscuit, I'mma win by a photo finish
Nigga, this ain't tennis, yeah, I ain't bluffing shit
I be the street menace on my David Ruffin shit
Police ain't cuffing shit, claiming I'm a crook
Throw up my middle finger, I'm a hall of famer in my book
Right hook, death jooks, great with my footwork
Bubble through, got the W on my hood shirt
Sneak through the wood works like poisonous high fumes
I'm that superhero with the brand new costume

"Wu-Tang!"
"Wu-Tang!"
"Wu-Tang!"
"Wu-Tang!"
(feat. Sadat X)

[Intro: Inspectah Deck]
Yeah, yeah...
Yeah, yeah...
Let's go...
Yeah, listen...

[Inspectah Deck]
The sound of the horns says it's on
We storm through like C. Thomas, Red Dawn
Step like a don through the city, Deck bonds
I get my hands dirty, Nikes scuffed, sweat pouring
Still I stay fresh with the fly white linen
Duece times 5, that's my type women
Sonny, I live it, O-10, S5 tinted
Brother Deck, what I rep, S.I., dig it?
Fifty cal' flow, get low
Intro to outro, bout it tho, whoa
Steady, heavy like the 5-2 Chevy
Niggas ain't ready, I turn out your lights like Teddy
Roll like dice in the casino
Known to spit lava, Heat like DeNiro and Pacino
Manny Festo, Wu-Tang Gambino
Lay it down, then I fly off like the hero

"Wu-Tang!"
"Wu-Tang!"

[Sadat X]
The Wild Cowboy number one
G-O-D, how you gonna block out the son?
Read my jacket, my achievements stretch like a warning track catch
The in-crazable voice box, I throw you boys rocks
Diamonds and jewels, a holiday, pros that fuck in schools
I'm a tank, I stop panthers, take down stanzas
Sixteen bars, keep the car running
Broads stunting, feed ya self, kill ya self, take the pill
Punks jump up to get beat down
New York the sweet town I sorta, who's on tour?
Who the vile, truth can say, you ain't a slouch
Now Rule local, now I'm B.K. vocal
Right out the X, you can work out your pecs and your back
Can beat the death with bats, need to tune up, NJ'll turn the tune up
I'mma tell you who's soon enough to got
And I ain't down with getting crossed, and I never been the boss

"Wu-Tang!"

[U-God]
Yo, you're hog-tied, I'm roping them, bitches, I'm gropping them
Open up your veins, cop three bags of Dopium
Super soak these niggas, stroke with the magnum force
Leak it in the streets quick, peep my secret sauce
I keep it gloss, I'm suited up for my franchise
Your coins is tossed, man-handle bad guys
Scramble for my damn prize, crack cans of cold Guinness
I'm like Seabiscuit, I'mma win by a photo finish
Nigga, this ain't tennis, yeah, I ain't bluffing shit
I be the street menace on my David Ruffin shit
Police ain't cuffing shit, claiming I'm a crook
Throw up my middle finger, I'm a hall of famer in my book
Right hook, death jooks, great with my footwork
Bubble through, got the W on my hood shirt
Sneak through the wood works like poisonous high fumes
I'm that superhero with the brand new costume

"Wu-Tang!"
"Wu-Tang!"
"Wu-Tang!"
"Wu-Tang!"

_________________
"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

_________________
team Mully & Hanley
team Meatpants

Just bought a 2008 Prius from Lombard Toyota. Love it.

What did you buy for the gf?

_________________

My first post disappeared for some reason.

1) Figure out your budget
2) Figure out what kind of car you want
3) Use a site like kbb.com to figure out in general what you can get for those two things.

For instance, before you ever step into a dealership you should be able to say "I believe I want an SUV for under $8,000" or "I want a midsize car for under $6,000". This will be much easier and quicker than going in and saying "I want a car for an affordable cost".

I've heard that carmax can make you overpay but that's a good place to start. I would still go to a couple dealerships and comparison shop. You can even tell them that "Carmax is offering this car for this price". The key to car shopping is to know what you want before you go in terms of car style and price and ignoring the rest. If there is a model of car that you like go to that dealership as they are more likely to have used models of that car.

Eventually, you should know exactly what you want such as "I want a Jeep Cherokee" for under $9,000. kbb.com with local search is great for this type of search. I'm sure that cars.com or even ebay motors works too. Now, you know exactly what Carmax will sell you one for and you can give a dealer with a similar car a "beat this by $500 or I'm buying it from carmax today" threat.

_________________
You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

The King of Queens - Strike One
KBCW

Aired on Thursday, Jul 22, 2010 (7/22/2010) at 01:30 AM
View other episodes
View more from this channel
View all transcripts from (7/22/2010)


Transcript
00:00:00 00 already, and you're in your bad underwear.
00:00:08 I'll just hit the drive through.
00:00:11 sure, but being married means sometimes doing things that you don't want to do.
00:00:17 I hope you'll keep that in mind during our no-no time later.
00:00:24 Doug: ♪ Bo, bo, bo, ♪
00:00:27 [tapping on steering wheel] fudge.
00:00:29 ♪ Uh, uh, uh-uh, uh, uh, uh, uh ♪
00:00:31 ♪ uh, uh, uh ♪ fudge.
00:00:36 Man on intercom: Welcome to quicky burger.
00:00:36 May I take your order?
00:00:39 Yeah, 2 frozie fudge blasts.
00:00:41 Will that be all?
00:00:42 ..
00:00:44 Ah, who we kidding? throw in a number 4.
00:00:48 Anything else?
00:00:49 Uh, does the number 4 have quicky curlies?
00:00:52 No, the number 3 does.
00:00:53 All right, then I'll take a number 3.
00:00:56 So cancel the 4 and substitute a 3?
00:00:58 " gimme both.
00:01:03 May I bucket size you for an extra 70 cents?
00:01:07 My man, I like the cut of your jib.
00:01:12 Yes, bucket size me.
00:01:15 That's 12.44. pull to the front window.
00:01:17 [clears throat] [car motor grinds] [grinding] ok, you're not starting.
00:01:25 don't do this.
00:01:28 you're doing it.
00:01:31 You son of a mother!
00:01:40 Man on intercom: Sir, you're gonna have to pull forward now.
00:01:42 Yeah, I just got a little problem here, ok?
00:01:43 One sec.
00:01:46 Second man: Hey, foxy, nice legs!
00:01:49 Thank you.
00:01:51 Ok, first things first.
00:01:52 The front of the engine gets very hot!
00:01:54 Man on intercom: Sir, please pull your car forward.
00:01:58 Ok, guy, you just gotta give me a second.
00:01:59 You're holding up my line, and I'm gonna need you to please pull your car forward.
00:02:03 Ok, i--i know that, and I'm gonna need you to stop saying that, ok? now shut it.
00:02:08 You shut it.
00:02:11 What?
00:02:13 Please pull your car forward.
00:02:15 You know what? do me a favor.
00:02:16 Say it one more time. I dare ya.
00:02:20 Yeah, I didn't think so.
00:02:21 Please pull your car forward.
00:02:22 You know what? that's it.
00:02:23 You know what? you don't like it?
00:02:24 How about that, huh? one more time, huh?
00:02:27 That's all you got, lady?
00:02:29 No, I got a lot more! aah!
00:02:31 Ooh, that felt good.
00:02:32 Oh, yeah?
00:02:32 Did a feather just land on me?
00:02:34 Please pull your car forward, please pull your car forward, please pull your car forward, please pull your car forward!
00:02:40 Shut up!
00:02:41 ♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪
00:02:44 ♪ my back is gettin' tight ♪
00:02:47 ♪ I'm sitting here in traffic ♪
00:02:49 ♪ on the queensboro bridge tonight ♪
00:02:51 ♪ but I don't care 'cause all I want to do ♪
00:02:57 ♪ is cash my check and driveright home to you ♪
00:03:03 ♪ 'cause, baby,all my life ♪
00:03:05 ♪ I will be drivin' hometo you ♪
00:04:15 unbelievable.
00:04:17 Here you are.what happened? I was worried.
00:04:19 What happened?
00:04:20 Our piece of crapcar broke down right in the middleof the crappety crappetycrap-crap thing.
00:04:26 I had to call spencecome pick me up.
00:04:28 Hey, carrie.you look good.
00:04:33 Are you ok?
00:04:34 I'm fine, just that our dessertsare totally melting.
00:04:36 You might as welljust throw 'em out.
00:04:37 Yeah, well, don'tthw 'em out.
00:04:40 I never realizedhow damn smooth your legs are.
00:04:44 Ok, norman,time to calm down.
00:04:46 I swear, I'm throughwith that car.
00:04:47 Let's just get rid of itand get a new one.
00:04:49 Doug, come on.we've been through this before.
00:04:51 We cannot get a new carright now.
00:04:53 Besides, you--you can't just sell the old car.
00:04:56 It's got too muchof our lives in it.
00:04:58 I mean, goingto palisades park, getting chasedby bikers, and, uh, I watchedyou make out with sue mazetskyin that car.
00:05:08 Where were you?
00:05:10 I--the point isyou can't just dump a bipieceof our history.
00:05:15 I'll buy the carbefore I'll let that happen.
00:05:17 nobody's buying anything, because we are notgetting rid of it.
00:05:21 Why not?
00:05:21 Because--doug, your union is in the middle of contractnegotiations.
00:05:25 So?
00:05:26 So, you don't know how it's gonna come out.
00:05:27 We cannot afford it right now, ok?
00:05:32 I guess.
00:05:33 Listen, we've waited this long, we'll just tape the old car back together, it'll be good as new.
00:05:37 [Sighs] and just in case, let's drive with some pants on for a while, ok?
00:05:42 Ok. all right.
00:05:44 Well, my work is done. I'm outta here.
00:05:47 All right, well, thanks, spence.
00:05:49 Yeah, thanks again, man.
00:05:49 you're my bud.
00:05:54 So, what do you say we take those desserts up to the bedroom and make a little mess?
00:05:58 I don't need desserts to make a mess in the bedroom.
00:06:03 Well, come on, you big slob.
00:06:04 Oh, you so nasty!
00:06:05 [Laughs] yeah.
00:06:10 Spence, go home!
00:06:12 All right. take care.
00:06:16 ♪ If a great car's what you want then look no more ♪
00:06:21 ♪ just have a beer ♪
00:06:21 ♪ 'cause we're all parked right here in our auto store ♪
00:06:24 ♪ I see them here ♪
00:06:25 ♪ and we're slashing all our priceses ♪
00:06:27 to the bone ♪ ♪ yeah, we said bone ♪
00:06:31 ♪ so get your wife or hubby on the phone ♪
00:06:34 ♪ hope they're alone ♪
00:06:34 ♪ and if you're ready to step up ♪
00:06:38 ♪ to a new car, van, or truck ♪
00:06:41 ♪ then you'll love october-palooza ♪
00:06:45 ♪ where a good deal's what we'll do's ya ♪
00:06:51 got a few boxes of brochures for you.
00:06:55 Oh, finally!
00:06:55 You just gotta sign right here.
00:06:57 What you got? some kind of sale going on?
00:07:01 Actually, it's an october palooza.
00:07:04 Oh, palooza! what's with that dealie?
00:07:08 Oh, anybody who buys a truck has 30 seconds to grab as many dollar bills as they can.
00:07:12 that could not look more humiliating, and I'm a grown man who has to wear shorts for a living.
00:07:21 Wow! now that is a ride!
00:07:24 Uh-huh. car of the year.
00:07:27 Looks great in silver, too.
00:07:28 8 cylinders, 240 horses, 16-inch wheels, and a winch.
00:07:34 You do a lot of towing, doug?
00:07:38 I can't, not with the car we have, although there are a lot of things I wish I could tow.
00:07:43 Are you in the market for a new car?
00:07:45 Well, sort of, but my wife thinks we should wait a few weeks.
00:07:48 We're not quite ready yet.
00:07:50 Yeah. well, wifey knows best.
00:07:51 You gotta be ready.
00:07:52 Better to pay a little more and have your peace of mind.
00:07:55 What? it's gonna cost more in a few weeks?
00:07:57 Well, it's not a november palooza. am I right?
00:07:58 [Laughs] ok!
00:08:02 ..
00:08:04 How much more?
00:08:05 Well, it's hard to say.
00:08:06 Maybe a couple g's.
00:08:07 That's if we still have it.
00:08:09 This is the last all-silver 4 by 4 with the towing package and roof rack on the whole east coast.
00:08:14 The last one, huh?
00:08:15 Mm-hmm, but I don't think it's gonna last long.
00:08:17 I hear danny aiello's people are heading down right now to take a look at it.
00:08:21 Danny aiello?
00:08:22 Mmm.
00:08:25 I just got an update from the union, and as your shop steward, I've been asked to make the following announcements.
00:08:31 , negotiations officially broke down, with no new talks scheduled.
00:08:37 Anybody seen heffernan?
00:08:39 hey, is the new car smell included, or what?
00:08:44 [Inhales and exhales] they said "no" to the vesting proposal, ..
00:08:51 "Yes" to the fog lights!
00:08:53 "Yes" to the mountain package!
00:08:56 And they refuse to sign off on any expanded medical benefits.
00:09:04 Tighten your belt, people.
00:09:05 As of the end of work today, we're on strike.
00:09:08 ♪ The bloom from my wild irish rose ♪
00:09:13 ♪ my dear red rose ♪
00:12:22 I heard everything you said, as have the neighbors.
00:12:29 Now, let me respond.
00:12:31 Given the strike, this was clearly not the best day for us to buy a new car.
00:12:36 Now, I know the word "us" is a hot-button issue right now.
00:12:40 I should have kept you in the loop, and, yes, my genitals should be put in some sort of vise, but that aside, this is a blessing in disguise!
00:12:48 Look. we needed a new car. got one.
00:12:50 , leased under very favorable palooza conditions.
00:12:56 Now, in closing, I love you.
00:12:59 I am now available to make love to you, and it is my great hope that youill join me.
00:13:07 We're returning the car.
00:13:09 Really? why would you want to do that?
00:13:11 Did you show her the roof rack, doug?
00:13:12 Yeah. she pushed my head into it.
00:13:14 Look. it's nothing against the truck.
00:13:17 The truck is gorgeous.
00:13:18 I mean it's, uh, what do you guys say? cherry?
00:13:21 Because it is cherry.
00:13:23 [Chuckles] you know what else it is?
00:13:24 It's mint. hey! mint cherry!
00:13:26 Let's go for some ice cream!
00:13:28 [Laughs] but, seriously, uh, marty? marty, marty, marty.
00:13:32 Uh, unfortunately, my husband's union went on strike today, so we're gonna have to return it because the payments are a bit too much for us right now.
00:13:41 Got the receipt right here, so, is there a cashier's window I go to?
00:13:45 ..
00:13:46 I don't want to be the bad guy here, but I'm sorry.
00:13:49 I couldn't possibly take the car back now.
00:13:50 Once those tires hit the pavement, it depreciates big time.
00:13:54 ..
00:13:58 No.
00:13:59 Oh, come on. come on. be reasonable here.
00:14:03 I mean, it's only got 18 miles on it.
00:14:04 That's what? a couple of test drives.
00:14:06 And I only used the winch twice.
00:14:08 Look. I tell you what.
00:14:10 I can't take the car back, but come back tomorrow, I'll put you in the dollar booth, I'll cheat the timer, give you a few extra seconds, huh?
00:14:17 And here's a tip. lick your arms.
00:14:19 The bills'll stick to you better that way.
00:14:22 He's not getting in that booth, ok?
00:14:23 He's afraid of small spaces.
00:14:25 I can't even use the bathroom on an airplane.
00:14:27 That's why we can't go to hawaii.
00:14:29 sweetie, why don't you let me talk to this nice man alone.
00:14:34 Ok.
00:14:34 All right, babe.
00:14:35 I'm gonna um, lay my cards on the table here.
00:14:40 My husband was in an industrial accident.
00:14:44 Luckily, he doesn't remember it, but, bottom line is, I don't think he's even legally allowed to buy a car anymore.
00:14:54 You know, he only can count to 8.
00:14:58 Good luck with that.
00:15:03 you are way overreacting to this situation.
00:15:07 How am I overreacting?
00:15:08 first of all, I didn't even buy the car, ok?
00:15:10 I only leased it.
00:15:12 It's the same thing.
00:15:13 No, it isn't. it is.
00:15:14 Ok. all right. no, it isn't!
00:15:16 Tell me the difference.
00:15:17 well, when one buys a car, per se, ..
00:15:25 One owns it, whereas when one leases a car, one owns it, but you gotta give it back.
00:15:35 Do me a favor.
00:15:37 Count to 9.
00:15:38 This whole conversation is pointless, 'cause the strike's gonna end in a week, 2 weeks tops.
00:15:43 How do you know that, doug?
00:15:44 'Cause I'm in the union.
00:15:47 Ok, union man. what are the issues?
00:15:50 Do you even know what they are?
00:15:52 Yes. ok.
00:15:53 Name one issue.
00:15:54 Vesting. vesting is a huge issue.
00:15:57 You should see all the people.
00:15:58 " vesting meaning what?
00:16:03 Vesting! to vest! to be vested!
00:16:07 I don't know how much clearer I can make this.
00:16:09 I really don't.
00:16:10 The point is, it's very important, and the company is gonna eventually cave in on it.
00:16:15 Doug, how do you know they're gonna cave, huh?
00:16:17 What if this thing drags on for a month, 2 months.
00:16:20 It can't drag on. you've seen our commercial.
00:16:22 " who else is gonna deliver the globe if we don't, huh?
00:16:26 Fed ex?
00:16:28 Tight operation.
00:16:31 Yes, it is.
00:16:31 Look, carrie. the strike is gonna end, ok?
00:16:34 And we're gonna be fine in the meantime.
00:16:36 Spence is gonna buy the old car.
00:16:38 That's $200 right there.
00:16:41 You can pick up some overtime, and I can do stuff around the house, save us some money there.
00:16:47 I guess.
00:16:48 Come on. don't be mad at me.
00:16:52 Uh-oh.
00:16:53 Uh-oh. did you leave the puppy gate open?
00:16:57 Don't.
00:16:58 No, I think you left the puppy gate open.
00:17:01 Doug, don't do the puppy thing.
00:17:03 The puppy's comin', you cannot stop him.
00:17:06 Don't! stop!
00:17:07 Get off! get off of me. stop it.
00:17:10 Oh, god, the puppy likes you.
00:17:11 Oh, yeah, rub his belly.
00:17:13 No! rub his belly!
00:17:14 Rub his belly. all right!
00:17:16 Oh, yeah!
00:17:17 Oh, oh, yeah.
00:17:18 Oh, that's the spot, yes.
00:17:20 Ok, now, if she stalls out, don't panic.
00:17:23 Just throw it back into neutral, step on the gas, pop her into first.
00:17:26 She'll lurch pretty violently, but you're back in business.
00:17:30 Gotcha.
00:17:31 Now, once in a rare while, instead of stalling, the damn thing will take off like a frickin' rocket.
00:17:37 Ok, just pop it back into neutral, blast the heat, and pull up the emergency break.
00:17:42 It's as good as done.
00:17:43 And the odor you know about, so that should just about do it.
00:17:46 Oh, wow. I can't believe she's actually mine.
00:17:49 You sure you want to do this?
00:17:51 Absolutely. ok.
00:17:52 Oh, hey, hey, hey, hee hee hee.
00:17:54 I got a bumper sticker.
00:17:55 " you want other drivers to give you coffee?
00:18:05 You're over-thinking it. it's just funny.
00:18:10 Oh, ah, coffee, coffee, yeah.
00:18:15 Uh, hey, I'll call you later, buddy.
00:18:17 All right, buddy.
00:18:18 [Car cranking]

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

WU TANG THIS SATURDAY

SUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Might be Biggie's funniest stuff since I've been here.


So are BigFan and Jimmypasta in their own ISOP since they both posted that back-to-back?

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The episode BF mentioned of Seinfeld & the KOQ episode I listed are two of my favorites of each show. Amazing how 22 minutes of a TV sitcom can be 100x funnier than any big budget comedy being made today.

This exchange between Doug and the car salesman still cracks me up.
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SM: This is the last all-silver 4 by 4 with the towing package and roof rack on the whole east coast.
DOUG:The last one, huh?
SM: Mm-hmm, but I don't think it's gonna last long.
SM: I hear danny aiello's people are heading down right now to take a look at it.
Doug: Danny aiello?
Doug: Mmm.
==========================================================

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Are you a bigfan of KOQ?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

When was King of Queens ever funny?

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Whoa...KOQ without a doubt is my favorite comedy of all-time. My whole family loved that show. Nobody better then Arthur Spooner down in the basement.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

So you like your KOQ with a Spooner in the basement?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

TRANS-ISLAND SKYWAY from Donald Fagen's Kamikirad

I was born yesterday
When they brought my Kamakiri
When they handed me the keys
It's a steam-power 10
The frame is out of Glasgow
The tech is Balinese
It's not a freeway bullet
Or a bug with monster wheels
It's a total biosphere
The farm in the back
Is hydroponic
Good, fresh things
Every day of the year
Good, fresh things
Every day of the year

With all screens and functions
In sync lock with Tripstar
This cool rolling bubble
Is all set to samba
This route could be trouble
(This route could be trouble)

Chorus:
Steamin' up
That Trans-Island Skyway
Tryin' to make that final deadline
And if the lanes are clear
We're gonna drive a little harder
We'll be deep in the Zone by cryin' time

Say, there's a wreck
On the side of the road
Lots of blood and broken glass
The kid who was driving
I know from somewhere
Some kids just drive too fast
Wait just a minute
There's a beautiful survivor
With dancer's legs and laughing eyes
C'mon snakehips, it's all over now
Strap in tight cause it's a long sweet ride

Relax - put some sounds on
I'll brew up some decaf
C'mon kick off those heels ma'am
Now breathe in and sigh out
Let's get with the program
(Let's talk about the good times)

Chorus

We reach the sprangle
Just at dawn
These little streets I used to know
Is that my father
Mowin' the lawn
(C'mon daddy get in let's go)
C'mon daddy get in let's go
C'mon daddy get in let's go
C'mon daddy get in let's go
C'mon daddy get in let's go
C'mon daddy get in let's go
C'mon daddy get in let's go

We pull into Five Zoos
Past motels and drive-thrus
That noon sun is blinding
The tidepools are boiling
Below plates are grinding
(Let's talk about the good times)

Chorus

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

KOQ was a funny show. WAY funnier than the other show that is usually quoted around here.

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Black Book is used by many dealers now and is a more accurate representation of a car's value.

Car dealers are struggling for biz. We bought a pre-driven one owner Equinox in October on a Saturday. We were the only people in the dealership at four o'clock on a Saturday.

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If you are shopping for something 4WD/AWD, american made from late 90s early 00s would be the best. Make sure it's in year 3 or 4 at least after the last major change in model's design. 50-70k car is going to need some work very soon and parts for old imports are ridiculously expensive. Go easy on luxury features and automation (mirrors, seats, climate control, rain sensors, etc.) That sh* breaks easily and is expensive to fix. If you buy at Carmax make sure you test the living hell out of it. Their intake testing is crap and they miss some major stuff.

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"It's not exactly a rocket surgery." D.J.

I just helped my Mother buy a car from Carmax & it was a great experience. No bullshit & they sell good cars & are very thorough.

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CSFMB 2014 Nascar Pick 'em Champion

We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much. — Ronald Reagan

There's something very odd in the water...

Hope you enjoy your new car, whatever you decide to get.

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Middle Aged Crazy, like Uncle Terry

On a more serious note ... :

- I'll put in another positive vote for CarMax, albeit in proxy ... my brother got his jalopy several years ago from that joint and I don't recall a terse word from him about them;

- You'll forgive me if I missed seeing the website in this very short thread, but http://www.edmunds.com is quite nice for comparison shopping - not just in price, but in car style as well ... it's possible you won't find using the site completely intuitive at first, but I think you'll find it provides quite a lot of information you may find useful particularly if you don't have the first idea what you're concretely looking for;

- Free insurance tip ... it's Illinois state law that your current insurance coverage also automatically covers any new auto purchase for up to 30 days -- in other words, you don't have to feel like you gotta tell them what you're going to buy ahead of time, hurry home to tell them, etc. -- just don't forget to do it, but do it somewhat at your leisure. Plus, it gives you a "free" month, so to speak, to unload your other car if you need it;

- Free insurance tip #2 - don't call your agent up to have him run price checks on a dozen different cars .... he'd sooner hang himself than try to guess what numbers to use since, ultimately, the VIN is what determines a lot of things in regards to price ... if you only ask about one or two, and have an exact VIN to feed him, you should be able to get a price just about to the penny. Also, if you're not carrying comp/collision now, don't forget you'll need that.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Regarding CARMAX, I know of two different parties that had transmission issues with cars from there. A certified car from Honda is a good bet,but that's just my 2 cents.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Thank you all, seriously! Very helpful!

Still holding on to the slim chance i dont have to buy just yet but when I do this all helps


Anybody have any thoughts on Carmax?

What's Carmax?

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Very good for chapped lips.

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I've got an '89 LeBaron that was once owned by Jon Voight

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