There is not a damned thing wrong with people who are bull shitters.

I don't really have any advice on turkey. But I've got a dynamite recipe for mashed potatoes. When the mashed potatoes are done, you stick your penis in the mashed potatoes. It feels great. You know, because you're sticking your penis in mashed potatoes. Come to think of it, it's not really a recipe. When people make mashed potatoes, I just stick my penis in the bowl when the mashed potatoes are done. I hope that helps.

I would cover for SHARK, Drop In, Dave in Champaign, my Mom, and Urlacher's Missing Neck. After that, the list gets pretty thin. There are a few people about whom I would definitely fabricate charges.

There is not a damned thing wrong with people who are bull shitters.

How do you cook it? What type of brine do you use?

I usually smoke or deep fry my turkey but this year I'm going to go the traditional oven route. I'm going with an apple cider brine for 12 hours overnight tonight, with combinations or sage,rosemary,thyme,onion,garlic,brown/regular sugar,and kosher salt.

I have MANY years of experience in trying to appreciate steaming piles of dogshit.