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 Post subject: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:28 pm 
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Today is my mom's birthday, so we all took her out to lunch. I wasn't too happy about this. I had a really nice first date yesterday and she and I had talked about maybe making today the second date, so that'll have to wait a bit, I guess. I'm not a big fan of eating with my family. My dad, never the most adventurous diner, has regressed to the point where he'll only eat things that would hypothetically appear on the kids' menu, but basically just hamburgers. It's getting a little embarrassing. The only TV shows my parents watch are those on major networks in which people are sequentially eliminated: Bachelor, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars. I like to read books, so there's just not a lot of common ground here.

So imagine the coalescence of sour resentment and personal giggling that came with finding out we would be lunching at Cooper's Hawk! No one understood what I found so funny about Cooper's Hawk. All I could do not to dwell on my own dissatisfaction was to imagine a blustery JORR being dragged there. And so I smiled.

So you walk in and there's a gift shop that leads into the dining room. It's like Cracker Barrel for the bourgeoisie! The decor and ambiance are both tasteful in the most indistinct way. Nothing stands out. All you can do is look around at the exposed brick and vaulted ceilings with exposed rafters, nod, and say "yes, this is most tasteful." I don't drink, so I didn't have any of their wines, which the waiter was proud to tell us was made in Countryside, Illinois. In the words of Les Grobstein, "Okay. Cool."

I had the maple/mustard/pretzel-encrusted pork medallions with mashed potatoes and asparagus. It was pretty good! I like asparagus more than most people do, I'd wager. The mustard had some pleasant notes of horseradish to it, and the maple wasn't too overpoweringly sweet, which was my fear going in. The potatoes had the skin mixed in, always a plus, and soaked up the sauce nicely. Alas, so did the pretzel crust, which failed to maintain any of its structural integrity and sort of puffed up into a big carbohydrate blob. I would have eschewed this aspect of the entree. Perhaps cashews would be a good substitute if the objective is to provide a nice crunch.

My dad had a cheeseburger.

Overall, it wasn't terrible, but it would never occur to me to go there, and I sure wouldn't call it a good thing about living in the suburbs. Too boring.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:32 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
It was pretty good!



A Curious Hair That Doesn't Want to Catch the Ire and Wrath of His BoardMates wrote:
Overall, it wasn't terrible



Image


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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:33 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
I like asparagus more than most people do, I'd wager.

Might be my favorite vegetable...grilled, it's amazing.

But yeah, Cooper's Hawk...that's hilarious. :lol:


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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:33 pm 
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way to start a thread to brag about a 2nd date.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:35 pm 
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Clearly the thread was meant to capitalize on the CSFMB fad that is Coopershawkmania. That someone actually might want to spend time with me is strictly incidental.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:36 pm 
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ok curious hair fealz

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:37 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
Clearly the thread was meant to capitalize on the CSFMB fad that is Coopershawkmania. That someone actually might want to spend time with me is strictly incidental.

Hell I was posting here, on Facebook, tweeting about it, and shouting at random people at the supermarket last time I had someone agree to go on a second date with me, so...


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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:39 pm 
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Whatdya do on the first date?

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:45 pm 
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badrogue17 wrote:
Whatdya do on the first date?


They went to Maggiano's

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:47 pm 
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badrogue17 wrote:
Whatdya do on the first date?

Art institute. Pay more attention badrogue

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:55 pm 
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badrogue17 wrote:
Whatdya do on the first date?


forced anal sex.


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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:57 pm 
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They have a good cranberry wine... If you're into that sort of thing... Which Iz is...

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 5:02 pm 
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HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHAT IT TOOK TO BRING YOU BACK?

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 5:06 pm 
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I don't understand "Too Boring".
What do you want,a murder mystery with your onion soup?

I think that was code for "too many middle class white people"

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 5:12 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHAT IT TOOK TO BRING YOU BACK?

IT'S. GOOD. FUCKING. WINE.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 5:21 pm 
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crosscheck wrote:
Curious Hair wrote:
HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHAT IT TOOK TO BRING YOU BACK?

IT'S. GOOD. FUCKING. WINE.

VERY. IMPORTANT. BEVERAGE.


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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 5:40 pm 
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I would enjoy CoopersHawk if I was a wine drinker. The waitstaff always says, "Are you sure?", when I ask for a diet soda. There is also raspberry pomegranate tea that refreshes my palette and and brings out the flavor expressions in the food I'm eating.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 5:41 pm 
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CH getting a date is shoutout worthy.....but I don't typically start threads.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 6:08 pm 
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Next date you should just go for a walk where it's quiet and dry and talk about precious things.


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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 6:09 pm 
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KDdidit wrote:
Next date you should just go for a walk where it's quiet and dry and talk about precious things.


Talking is for sissies,get into her pants!

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."


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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 6:21 pm 
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It went over your head, but I'd have been alarmed if it hadn't.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 6:52 pm 
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Werent you formerly importing your dates?

Not knocking it, I mean if it works it works, but I always thought you gave us reports from different corners of the world and different finger eating establishments with different ethnic females?

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 6:57 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
It went over your head, but I'd have been alarmed if it hadn't.


It has nothing to do with going over my head,if I missed a joke in a previous post or it's a quote from some movie I didn't see. That is being unaware of said quote,not that I don't understand it.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 6:58 pm 
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jimmypasta wrote:
I don't understand "Too Boring".
What do you want,a murder mystery with your onion soup?

I think that was code for "too many middle class white people"


:lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:02 pm 
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bigfan wrote:
Werent you formerly importing your dates?

Not knocking it, I mean if it works it works, but I always thought you gave us reports from different corners of the world and different finger eating establishments with different ethnic females?

...what?

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:07 pm 
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How'd you meet the girl and does she have big jugs?


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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:09 pm 
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Hockey Gay wrote:
How'd you meet the girl and does she have big jugs?


Doo-Dah...Doo_dah

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."


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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:09 pm 
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:lol: :lol: :lol:

Bigfan... You're thinking of C Howitt Fealz. But that truly gave me a nice laugh so thank you.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:10 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
bigfan wrote:
Werent you formerly importing your dates?

Not knocking it, I mean if it works it works, but I always thought you gave us reports from different corners of the world and different finger eating establishments with different ethnic females?

...what?

:lol: :lol:

I really can't stop laughing at these combined posts. Funniest shit I've read on here in some time.

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 Post subject: Re: Cooper's Hawk
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2014 7:12 pm 
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Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
jimmypasta wrote:
I don't understand "Too Boring".
What do you want,a murder mystery with your onion soup?

I think that was code for "too many middle class white people"


:lol:


Nicely done Jimmy.

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