Today is my mom's birthday, so we all took her out to lunch. I wasn't too happy about this. I had a really nice first date yesterday and she and I had talked about maybe making today the second date, so that'll have to wait a bit, I guess. I'm not a big fan of eating with my family. My dad, never the most adventurous diner, has regressed to the point where he'll only eat things that would hypothetically appear on the kids' menu, but basically just hamburgers. It's getting a little embarrassing. The only TV shows my parents watch are those on major networks in which people are sequentially eliminated: Bachelor, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars. I like to read books, so there's just not a lot of common ground here.

So imagine the coalescence of sour resentment and personal giggling that came with finding out we would be lunching at Cooper's Hawk! No one understood what I found so funny about Cooper's Hawk. All I could do not to dwell on my own dissatisfaction was to imagine a blustery JORR being dragged there. And so I smiled.

So you walk in and there's a gift shop that leads into the dining room. It's like Cracker Barrel for the bourgeoisie! The decor and ambiance are both tasteful in the most indistinct way. Nothing stands out. All you can do is look around at the exposed brick and vaulted ceilings with exposed rafters, nod, and say "yes, this is most tasteful." I don't drink, so I didn't have any of their wines, which the waiter was proud to tell us was made in Countryside, Illinois. In the words of Les Grobstein, "Okay. Cool."

I had the maple/mustard/pretzel-encrusted pork medallions with mashed potatoes and asparagus. It was pretty good! I like asparagus more than most people do, I'd wager. The mustard had some pleasant notes of horseradish to it, and the maple wasn't too overpoweringly sweet, which was my fear going in. The potatoes had the skin mixed in, always a plus, and soaked up the sauce nicely. Alas, so did the pretzel crust, which failed to maintain any of its structural integrity and sort of puffed up into a big carbohydrate blob. I would have eschewed this aspect of the entree. Perhaps cashews would be a good substitute if the objective is to provide a nice crunch.

My dad had a cheeseburger.

Overall, it wasn't terrible, but it would never occur to me to go there, and I sure wouldn't call it a good thing about living in the suburbs. Too boring.

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Might be my favorite vegetable...grilled, it's amazing.

But yeah, Cooper's Hawk...that's hilarious.

way to start a thread to brag about a 2nd date.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Clearly the thread was meant to capitalize on the CSFMB fad that is Coopershawkmania. That someone actually might want to spend time with me is strictly incidental.

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ok curious hair fealz

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Hell I was posting here, on Facebook, tweeting about it, and shouting at random people at the supermarket last time I had someone agree to go on a second date with me, so...

Whatdya do on the first date?

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

They went to Maggiano's

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

Art institute. Pay more attention badrogue

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

forced anal sex.

They have a good cranberry wine... If you're into that sort of thing... Which Iz is...

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team Mully & Hanley
team Meatpants

HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHAT IT TOOK TO BRING YOU BACK?

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I don't understand "Too Boring".
What do you want,a murder mystery with your onion soup?

I think that was code for "too many middle class white people"

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

IT'S. GOOD. FUCKING. WINE.

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team Mully & Hanley
team Meatpants

VERY. IMPORTANT. BEVERAGE.

I would enjoy CoopersHawk if I was a wine drinker. The waitstaff always says, "Are you sure?", when I ask for a diet soda. There is also raspberry pomegranate tea that refreshes my palette and and brings out the flavor expressions in the food I'm eating.

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CSFMB: Home of the small minded

CH getting a date is shoutout worthy.....but I don't typically start threads.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Next date you should just go for a walk where it's quiet and dry and talk about precious things.

Talking is for sissies,get into her pants!

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

It went over your head, but I'd have been alarmed if it hadn't.

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Werent you formerly importing your dates?

Not knocking it, I mean if it works it works, but I always thought you gave us reports from different corners of the world and different finger eating establishments with different ethnic females?

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

It has nothing to do with going over my head,if I missed a joke in a previous post or it's a quote from some movie I didn't see. That is being unaware of said quote,not that I don't understand it.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

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My Maserati does 186.

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How'd you meet the girl and does she have big jugs?

Doo-Dah...Doo_dah

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Bigfan... You're thinking of C Howitt Fealz. But that truly gave me a nice laugh so thank you.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

I really can't stop laughing at these combined posts. Funniest shit I've read on here in some time.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Nicely done Jimmy.

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