Psycory wrote:
I think another point this thread is talking about is quality of life,
I would say I'm very happy with my quality of life, even if I live in the middle of nowhere. It does lead to a couple of tough points (that many of my friends/family do not understand):
1. The level of jealousy we have for all parents with grandparent/aunt/uncle/family around is really high. The first time my wife and I went on a vacation/had a night where we were not sleeping in the same place with our kids in 7 years was in May and that was after the trip was delayed from October because our childcare fell through. However, we knew that going into this job. Because of that:
2. We have a real strict 7:30 bedtime for all of our kids. It's the only way my wife and I can get any adult time.
It's a tradeoff, we get jealous about things like "Aunts taking the kids for the weekend" or "grandparent daycare" but at the same time, if we lived in the same town as either set of parents, I'm pretty sure we would not be talking to them at this point. We joke that if we could only get to a three hour buffer of either set of grandparents (close enough to send away, but not close enough for the unannounced drop in) would be great, but we make do with what we have.
Don't get me started about how my inlaws always cut trips here short because they grandparent daycare their other grandchildren who live close to them and can't "let them down." It's a real sticky issue with my wife.
Had to air that grievance as it just came up again tonight.
the closer you are to your family, the more family obligations you have
I have 20 nieces/nephews with people still being of child bearing age. Take in holidays and that is essentially a family obligation every two weeks...with parents on either side bitching if you don't show up to everything.
as far as babysitting, there is always one sibling who abuses the privilege resulting in less opportunity for everyone else
I threw this out to my family but no one really seemed to pick it up: each family takes a Friday or Saturday night where they are the designated babysitter. Anyone who wants can drop them off and stay out as late as they want that night, no complaints allowed. My family and in laws are numerous enough where a turn would only come up 3-4 times per year.
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