Some Rich People Put Anti-Bird Spikes On Trees To Protect Fancy Cars From Poo

“It’s a shame to see trees being literally made uninhabitable to birds.”

By Elyse Wanshel

Some rich people in Bristol, England, evidently think that conserving natural habitats is for the birds.

Residents in an exclusive part of Bristol have reportedly installed anti-bird spikes on a pair of neighborhood trees to protect their BMWs and Audis from bird poop.



“The spikes are solely to protect the cars, there is no other reason,” an anonymous local told the Bristol Post. “There is a big problem with bird droppings around here. They can really make a mess of cars, and for some reason they [the birds] do seem to congregate around this area.”

The resident added that there are other trees nearby for birds to nest in, and that the locals tried other methods to scare them off, like adding a “wooden bird of prey in the branches” ― but it didn’t work.



Anti-bird spikes are typically used to deter birds from landing on building ledges, windowsills and gutters.

But critics say putting the spikes on trees — which birds naturally perch on — to prevent them from defecating in a specific area is a pretty crappy move.


“I’m aware that the landowner might be legally within their rights to do this to the trees as they seem to be on private land,” Green Party politician Paula O’Rourke told the Bristol Post.

“Whether allowed or not though, it looks awful and it’s a shame to see trees being literally made uninhabitable to birds ― presumably for the sake of car parking,” O’Rourke said.

There is not a damned thing wrong with people who are bull shitters.

birds.

solution: garage.

Can we put spikes in rich people?

Looking at you Dennis.