My wife and I had plans to go out to dinner on Saturday night with two other couples. I was going to be coming straight from Arlington Park and the Rebel didn't go off until 6:09 p.m. so my time was going to be tight. I was wearing a pullover workout shirt that my wife had given me. The shirt is nice enough that I never used it for working out. You'll have to trust me when I say that I didn't look like I was heading for the gym. I certainly didn't look like a bum. Anyway, she said to me, "You're not going to wear that to dinner, are you?" When I said I planned to, she started giving me shit. I told her I would be dressed better than the other two guys in this shirt. She disagreed. So I acquiesced and when I got home I put on a collared shirt and a sport coat. Fine. It wasn't worth arguing about.

When we got to the restaurant I smiled to myself. Both guys were dressed no better than I was when I was wearing the shirt I had on in the morning. Once guy had on a sweater that was the same level as my workout shirt and the other guy was wearing a construction vest. A fuckin' construction vest!

I expected my wife to say, "Okay, you were right." But she did not. In fact, she started defending the construction vest saying it was "nice". I was drunk as hell when we got in the Uber and I must have said "construction vest" a bunch of times because my wife finally said, "If you say "construction vest" one more time I'm gonna whack you upside your head. In the interest of family harmony I let it go. I'm sure Jennice the Uber driver got a big kick out of the conversation.

I have MANY years of experience in trying to appreciate steaming piles of dogshit.

Ah, Lemonparty, the 8th sacrament.

Currently sitting in Jury selection room in McHenry County courthouse.

Our hotel smelled like dead hooker vagina (before you ask I had gotten a detailed description from beardown)

Currently sitting in Jury selection room in McHenry County courthouse.

You can get out of that.

Ah, Lemonparty, the 8th sacrament.

Better than sitting in a holding cell at the McHenry County Courthouse...

Ah, Lemonparty, the 8th sacrament.

Any suggestions?

I am not a legal expert, how many times do I have to say it?

I get out of jury duty simply by opening my mouth.

Say that Hitler had some great ideas, but went a bit too far.

I did not know 'Cake' did a cover of 'War Pigs'. It just came on a minute or so ago. Quite jarring. I'm old and easily confused; I don't need this kind of hassle.

Our hotel smelled like dead hooker vagina (before you ask I had gotten a detailed description from beardown)

Any suggestions?

Have a terrible night and die in MANY fires.

Any suggestions?

There is a Phil Collins cover of "Tomorrow Never Knows."

Also if you fuck someone like they are a millionaire they might go try to be one.

Cake (the band, not the treat)....underrated? appropriately rated?

I can't find the commercials thread, but this new dentist one with the british dude is aggravating. dentists need to stop brushing their teeth so hard. duh.

He also did a cover of True Colors

Was told 92....saw 85. Story of my life.

Cake (the band, not the treat)....underrated? appropriately rated?

I can't find the commercials thread, but this new dentist one with the british dude is aggravating. dentists need to stop brushing their teeth so hard. duh.

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

I had a family party yesterday. I thought a 2 o'clock start time would give everyone time to enjoy some company, watch games, eat and hit the road at a reasonable time. My side stuck to that plan. The others were cool with staying until 10 pm, even as a high school kid begged them for quiet so he could study. I don't even think it is a matter of them being unable to read a situation. I think its just straight selfishness that they won't go until they darn well please. I also think it's a government workers mindset that Monday morning's work doesn't matter anyway.

I'm the bad guy for being angry about the situation.

Ah, Lemonparty, the 8th sacrament.

I didn't know if this was a complain, brag, or a bit of both. Anyway...

I took an Uber on St Patricks Day. I had been out for most of the day and had MANY beers. I wasn't completely out of it, but had been dropped off at a friends not too far from my house and fully intended to take an Uber home. I was in the car for 13 minutes. It was an Uber Pool, and about a mile from my place the driver picked up two other guys. One sat in back next to me, the other had to be helped into the front seat. Five minutes later, I am dropped off with no issues.

Saturday I get an email from Uber that they charged me $80 to have the drivers car cleaned. I was floored. Sure I wasn't sober, but I didn't have any food with me, my shoes weren't muddy, and I didn't puke so I have no idea how I get charged for the mess. I log into the Uber app to explain that this was a pool and that one of the other riders must have made the mess. We go back and forth and most of the explanation I get is about Uber policies and blah blah..all of which I understand. One of the last replies is about pictures of the mess that the driver sent in. I asked what part of the car was messed up. Uber says the front seat. I explain that I was sitting in the rear passenger seat so clearly the mess was not my fault. I suggest they check with my driver to confirm this and if Uber refuses I will dispute the charge with my credit card company.

Today I got an email that my $80 will be refunded.

Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.

That amber alert was a little weird though. The one I got had almost zero useful information.

Agreed. But to be fair, Frank is also kind of weird and provides zero useful information.

Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.