hnd wrote:
we foster which puts us smack dab into some doozies of situations. This one I believe might be the craziest we've ever been involved with.
Mother has 2 children ages 3 and 1.5 with 2 different fathers. Also not really important to the story but of note...she is a little person. 2 fathers are not, 2 children are not. Children have been run through the system. 2 families they've been with have gotten divorced so they've got into emergency care a few times and have had 3 long term placements.
We took in both of them last fall with the idea that the older would eventually go to their fathers' house (he recently was discovered to be the father...they didn't know for 3 years) but he had to get somebody who couldn't pass a background check out of his house before that could happen.
3 yr old went to live with her father in January. These people are nitwits. they basically require she sit still and not do anything all day long and are basically livid when she does anything wrong. There is an old lady who lives there too who just shouts, make it stop and covers her ears when the kid crys from being punished. This has all been observed by the caseworker.
2 weeks ago they were evicted because they just stopped paying rent. They refuse any help from the state and are looking for rentals in nice neighborhoods in places they can't afford. They are now living in a hotel.
The mother is still with the father of the 1.5 yr old. The problem there is that they don't do anything. they don't come to visits, they haven't seent heir children/child in 12 weeks. They can't drive so they have to take the bus. DCFS has supplied the bus passes for them but has threatented to take them away if they don't come.
Side note : one thing that irritates the shit out of me is that DCFS bends over backwards to reschedule, and make accomodations for these shitheads. they called one time and were like they would like to move the visit to friday at 11:00 is that ok. i asked for the phone and told the caseworker... no this doesn't work. its a major inconvenience to everyone to reschedule a thing that they haven't came to 6 weeks in a row. its clear they are just trying to be difficult. a light bulb apparently went off wiht the caseworker.
The mother and father of hte 1.5 yr old keep moving and they keep moving into peoples homes who are on sex registries. Its absurd.
We just learned this morning that the father broke up with the mother because DCFS just cut off bus passes.
He has 8 kids with 8 different mothers. All of the mothers have like some sort of disability mentally.
In illinois, once you decide you will begin to terminate rights, it takes over 6 months to make happen. They state is finally deciding that this is the plan to take with the 1.5 yr old.
if the other guy becomes homeless, the state will have to take the 3 yr old back into care too.
the whole other part of this is that the mother has said that the father of the 3 yr old is inappropriate with children, and the father of the 3 yr old says that the mother and father have touched the 3 yr old inappropriately (every visit they HAVE gone to is supervised)
We defiantly need more good people like yourself and your wife in the world.
The wife and I, have chatted about foster care/adoption before. I am not sure I could have a little one come into the house for a small period of time and leave. I think the emotional attachment would be too great for me to handle, so I have said ok to adoption at some point.
Kudos to you guys for having to deal with this and provide a stable environment for young children.
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