I worked downtown for about 6 years. I took the train almost everyday, but every once in awhile I would have to drive because I needed to be somewhere after work that the Metra or CTA could not get me to. One morning when I had to make the drive, I was headed East down 88 towards the city. It was early and traffic wasn't too bad, so I was going at least 60-65 in the left lane. There's a large SUV in front of me so I can't see anything that is in front of it. All of the sudden the SUV swerves crazily onto the left shoulder. As the SUV moves out of the way, I see the reason that he was swerving. Heading directly towards me is a fairly big ladder sliding down the tollway. I make the same swerve to the shoulder and barely miss it myself. Had I have been looking down at my phone or not paying attention fully to the road I would have ran the thing over in my tiny Honda Civic and most likely blown all 4 of my tires out, or worse. I'm sure someone in the line of cars definitely did run this thing over, but I didn't see it. The ladder fell off a work van that was driving in front of the SUV. What a schmuck. Secure that shit....

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Was your poker chair in the car at the time?

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Possibly

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i've always wanted to start a blog page for things found in the middle of the road . i find it fascinating

one time on southbound 355 past 55 I saw a folding chair in the middle lane, standing up. and i always wonder what the story behind it is when you see a single shoe or some article of clothing

I was driving a truck in the pouring rain a number of years on the inbound Ryan before Canalport when a car cut me off. I swerved to avoid them and headed for the guard rail which is a couple of hundred feet above the street there. Thankfully, the truck continued to spin and I slid sideways for a couple of blocks finally tipping over right before the exit. I went from certain death, to climbing out of the truck and walking away.

And I got to meet Bob Jordan too.

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someone was clearly watching over you

Always.

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Speeding to clean up another mess created in a parking lot by JORR?

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Not that time.

I was on the Ryan. I was cleaning up after the White Sox.

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September 11, 2001. I was at the World Trade Center giving an early morning presentation at Morgan Stanley on the 89th floor. Halfway through the presentation the guy in charge interrupted me and said it was the single dumbest presentation he had ever witnessed. Everyone started laughing at me. I said "screw you, I hope you all die in an fire!" and then I stormed out of there 20 minutes before I was supposed to finish. Got outside the building just in time to see the first plane hit.

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When I was 4 or 5, I went to the Museum of Science and Industry with my parents. I was standing in one of the exhibit rooms when a couple came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a bubble gum commercial.

I told them I don't like bubble gum and they said it didn't matter we need to go right now. I asked if I could ask my parents and they said there was no time for that. But, I said that they were right there and pointed to them about 8-10 feet away.

The couple just said never mind and ran off.

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You know me like that.

Wow. Do you think they stole some other kid that day? Or another day?

Did your parents alert somebody?

I've always wondered. Not an easy thing to Google from the mid-1970s.

I didn't tell my parents until a long time later because I thought they might be mad.

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You know me like that.

I remember hearing your people were told ahead of time to stay out of the towers on 9/11.

That is some scary shit right there.

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How about severed feet? This happened a few blocks from my house, and I guess some children found the feet in some weeds on the side of the road. This guy used to set up a folding chair at the edge of his driveway pretty much every day and just stare everyone down as they passed by. It creeped me out at first, until I realized he was harmless. RIP Walking Mike!

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2007-10-18/news/0710171023_1_dart-matteson-accident

The funny part, well maybe not funny - although I do enjoy trying to find the humorous aspects of potential child abduction - was that I told this story in a grade school class in like 2nd or 3rd grade about memorable vacations and no teacher in the class even asked me a follow-up question.

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You know me like that.

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

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Haven't you mentioned that your reality show on the boat died a quick death partially due to 9/11?
Close call.....

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Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami

Living in Tel Aviv during the November 2012 flare-up. I took the Dan Lines 142 to work every day from South Tel Aviv up to Ramat Hachayal. I worked some odd shifts and thus often would be on the noon bus. On this particular Wednesday, I ended up with a normal 8-5 shift instead of my usual afternoon-evening shift so I wasn't on my usual bus. That bus I would normally take ended up having a bomb explode on it. No one was killed as the Hamas fucker screwed up on assembly of the bomb, but I still would've pretty badly maimed by the shrapnel had I been on that bus. Especially since the bomb placement was near the rear door where I typically sat.

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Walt cant even recognize sarcasm. Sad!!

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Sad that you can't use sarcasm in a sentence

Definition of sarcasm
1
:  a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2
a :  a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

My original post was 100% satire. Keep up.

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What is it satire or sarcasm???? Your wife cuts your food...right?

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

You tell me, professor. You posted the definition of the word.

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Neither

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

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Definition of satire
1
:  a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn
2
:  trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly

0-2 Frank

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

Rogue jr is 7 and my wife and I are constantly drilling him on scenarios like that and what to do. You just hope it has sunk iif someone tries to pull that shit with him

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.