Didn't realize you were a booter burrito. Explains a lot.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

Being inadvertently sneezed or coughed on while out in public.

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the board game Settlers of Catan. its not fun, you can't kill anyone, its racist (robber is a black piece), its mundane peasantry goods accumulation that requires 0 skill.

Don't know if he ever referenced this but blacks also get offended because of its prison like connotations. The saggy pants thing is something that prisoners do to let people know they are "available". Many blacks get offended because of both the homosexual and criminal aspects of the saggy pants thing.

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People who do not have their fare ready when getting on public transit. or trying to scam their way on.

women who wear pajamas out shopping

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When I am stuck and need to figure something out I always remember the Immortal words of Socrates when he said:"I just drank what?"

I enjoy the game but the part that makes me angry is when you are trying to trade and say “sheep for a brick” and somebody else thinks that is what you want and not what you are offering so you both agree and end up trading the same card.

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People who bring young children or babies to R rated films.

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Corner of 109th and Calumet in St John is a mystery shoe corner. For as long as I’ve been alive, someone dumps random shoes there. You can’t drive by without seeing multiple shoes and they are always changing. I have no idea who or why but it’s always been that way.

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It's a sport, its just fucking terrible. Watching the field grow is more interesting than the games. The flops, 2-0 'blowouts', the corruption, "the beautiful game", keep it. And now that its the World Cup we're supposed to pretend to care about soccer again.

Fuck you. Your sport sucks. Real football, baseball, golf, etc are all better. Entertaining sports and showering are things that Europeans must not care about.

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Someone brought a baby into the 830 Deadpool 2 show we went to. Fucking kill yourself.

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Not trying to one up you, but we had a baby and what must have been a 5 year old at our 4pm Deadpool 2 showing on opening weekend.

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We're starting to get into anger that isn't irrational.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

People who post gifs instead of well thought out paragraphs.

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I used to feel bad that Chris in Joliet’s avatar photo made me mad because I thought it was a photo of himself and I like Chris but the dude in the photo looks like a total wanker. I feel so much better disliking it now that I know it’s Dana White .

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

fine by me

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I rage if someone cuts in line ahead of me at the store. My wife gets pissed because I will make a scene to ensure that they're not able to cut.

Even though I have always considered myself to be pretty liberal regarding the observance of laws/rules, in practice I am actually a stringent rule follower. It bothers me to no end if people break rules and get away with it. Also hate people who are always late.

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The fact Someguy and Matches Malone haven't posted in MANY months causes an uncontrollable rage which has taken me to the brink of homicide on more than one occasion.

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This times a billion.

In traffic, in line, anywhere. I get insanely angry and want to murder the person.

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This reminds me of another one of my cranky old friends. This guy lives in a building his grandfather bought in 1956 (j/k, I think he actually bought it in the 40s). He has his ideas about what everyone else should do. Much of his neighborhood has become Mexican over the years, and though he would deny it, when he complains he sounds like a bigot. He can't grasp that his idea of what looks "nice" isn't the same as everyone else's. This friend annoys the fuck out of me sometimes. I think that's what set me off on Rand Paul because guys criticizing him sound like this friend of mine.

Anyway, the gangway between his house and his neighbor's is only 1/4 his and the other 3/4 is his neighbor's. Over the years dating back to his grandparents, his family had maintained the gangway the way they wanted. Well, his neighbor ran a mower through there- on her property, mind you- and my friend went apeshit. "She killed my hostas! Everything looked so beautiful but she destroyed it for no reason!" Yet this guy is so property oriented he would never countenance anyone telling him what to do on his land.

Some people don't care about their lawns the way you do. It's probably best not to get worked up over it. When I was a kid in Sauganash, if someone failed to cut his lawn for ten days, it was like they wanted to form a posse and storm his house.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Self Anointed Spokesman for this Message Board!

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Funny thing is this year, I'm working really hard to get my lawn to seed naturally - we've had a few dry years, and there are some rough patches thanks to an odd layout that doesn't necessarily retain water evenly (lots of weird hills in my yard). My neighbor (who has a weekly landscaper) asks me daily when I'm going to mow again (I just did it last week)...drives me up a wall. He also gets pissy when I'm out there at 8-8:30 on a weekend morning to cut. Whatever.

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Who? You?

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I think there are a lot of guys like this, and it gets worse with age/retirement. My neighbor mows like every three days, and I'm sure he thinks I don't mow enough. His grass is fucking dead because he mows it so much. I think he also gets offended when I have my guy Hernandez come mow occasionally when I can't get to it. Weird old fuckers

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This happened in our neighborhood...we just found out about it.

Lady didn't have her yard sprayed and had a bunch of dandelions. Apparently, her neighbors gave her so much grief that she called and had it sprayed. We don't spray our yard and if that was me, I would have told them to MYOB and I would have let the grass get long just to piss them off. Our yard was full of them and they are gone already.

i'm not annoyed at all by traffic due to probably being nowhere near chicago or another big city.

the only part of my travel day that is a bit touchy is 2 lane left turn stop light that you then race a 1/4 mile to get into the right hand lane to turn onto the interstate. people are always cutting to get into the left lane than tryign to race past everyone to get into it. i drive most behind me nuts because i let everyone in.

Hernandez huh? Does he also replace the lawn jockey after he mows or does he just mow around it ?

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

What amuses me is that my neighborhood Hank Hill (guy on the other side who is completely anal retentive about his yard) is the one giving me suggestions on how to revive stuff...good neighbor. This guy is just an annoying fucker who throws money around so he doesn't have to do shit. His kids are college aged now, and they're even worse.

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we have a good friend who's wife looooves the dandelions. the 2 acres in front of their house is like a field of dandelions and she loves it. his next door neighbor who sprays ungodly amount of chemicals on his yard and mows every 3 days HATES them. like hates their guts.

retired people have to understand nobody has the time they do to mow 3 times a week. i had a great old neighbor who mowed twice a week but understood why i couldn't and didn't care. if you care.....move is what he'd say.